Ready For Bibi: Republican Leaders Trying To Draft Netanyahu For President In 2016

The presidential electoral season is rapidly heating up with candidates for both sides jockeying for position. Most of the activity is on the Republican side as the Democrats have not yet fielded a candidate that is seriously challenging Hillary Clinton.

The list of Republican hopefuls is long and comical, including such farces as Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Ben Carson. Those considered “establishment” contenders like Jeb Bush and Lindsey Graham have been rejected outright by the Tea Party base. Consequently, there is a sucking vacuum of emptiness in the GOP that threatens to sink their 2016 aspirations before they even get started.

Given the lack of any candidates that can unite the party and generate the energy and passion necessary to win next November, the GOP is casting a wider net in search of a more palatable offering. The consensus among insiders in the party is that Israels’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu best fits the bill to fire up a demoralized GOP that has lost two straight elections to a black guy.

Netanyahu GOP

That makes the recent travels of Republican leaders to Israel a more significant news story than previously disclosed. Mitch McConnell, the GOP chieftain in the Senate was there last week and huddled with Netanyahu, taking his side against President Obama regarding the sensitive negotiations over Iran’s nuclear arms capabilities. Next up is John Boehner, the GOP Speaker of the House, who is also scheduled to fluff Netanyahu during a trip to the holy land. These trips, it turns out, were not solely excursions to attempt to embarrass Obama on an international stage. Sources in the GOP have revealed that they were arranged to recruit Netanyahu as the next Republican nominee for president of the United States.

While there would be some obstacles to a Netanyahu candidacy, there are also some distinct advantages from the Republican perspective. Netanyahu is a war hawk who gives American conservatives goose bumps when he talks about escalating hostilities in the already volatile region. He has demonstrated a total inability to manage his nation’s economy, which should also excite Republicans who have made that their trademark in the United States. And best of all, he hates President Obama with a passion that comes very close to that of the Tea Party right in America.

The question of his citizenship is expected to be buried in a campaign that emphasizes his strong personal character that has the divine power to overcome trivialities like constitutional law. Republicans are planning to flood the media with arguments of equivalency to Obama’s Kenyan nativity and even to Ted Cruz’s birth in Canada to a Cuban lieutenant of Fidel Castro.

The religious right has long been one of the most powerful and loyal constituencies in the GOP. Their influence in this can also be felt as they regard a Netanyahu presidency as a prelude to the End Times that they so fervently await. They see his ascendancy as a path to war in the Middle East and eventually to the Apocalypse.

Fox News is also on board as the network of Christian soldiers who believe that a return to the Crusades would benefit both their political goals and their ratings. With a roster heavily weighted by devout Catholics, they are the closest thing in media to a Vatican PR office. The Fox faithful include: Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Megyn Kelly, Bret Baier, Bill Hemmer, Brian Kilmeade, Andrew Napolitano, Jeanine Pirro, Laura Ingraham, Dennis Kucinich, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and Father Morris. Rupert Murdoch, the CEO of Fox News parent News Corp was himself inducted into the “Knights of the Order of Saint Gregory the Great” by Pope John Paul II. And if that isn’t enough, the current Senior Communications Adviser in the Vatican’s Secretariat of State, Greg Burke, was previously the Fox News correspondent covering the Vatican, a position he held for ten years.

No timetable has been set as to when Netanyahu would announce his candidacy. However, there doesn’t seem to be any hurry as their is only one announced candidate to date (Ted Cruz) and no one is taking him seriously. The first debate (on Fox News, of course) isn’t scheduled until August. That gives Netanyahu time to settle his affairs in Israel and make several trips to Iowa and New Hampshire. Historically, campaign announcements have not been made on or around April 1st for the obvious reason: That it is simply too early in the cycle.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Born A Crime: Trevor Noah To Succeed Jon Stewart As Host Of The Daily Show

In an announcement confirming recent speculation, South African comedian Trevor Noah has been named as the successor to Jon Stewart. After sixteen years of entertaining and thought provoking comedy, Stewart will be stepping down later this year, leaving a gaping hole in the world of political satire just as the 2016 presidential cycle is warming up.

Trevor Noah

The selection of Noah came as a surprise to many who regard him as an untested novice who cannot possibly fill Stewart’s shoes. That assessment comes from ignorance because a little research reveals that Noah is an accomplished performer who sells out shows around the world and has even hosted his own late night program in South Africa. He is also a smart observer of culture and politics who speaks several languages.

Some critics are pointing out that Noah has only appeared on the Daily Show three times. However, that is not a prerequisite for becoming host. Jon Stewart had never appeared on the Daily Show prior to his selection as host. Yet he leap-frogged a correspondent already working there named Stephen Colbert.

Noah’s personal journey holds promise for a unique perspective on American politics and media. He jokes that he was “born a crime,” which is actually no joke. His mother was a black South African and his father a white man from Switzerland. Under the racist Apartheid regime it was literally against the law for them get married and have children. Nevertheless, Noah transcended the harsh realities of his youth in Soweto to become a successful entertainer. No doubt America’s mush-brained birthers will note the parallels with Kenyan-born Barack Obama’s mixed-race heritage.

The future of the Daily Show is still in doubt. There have been rumors circulating that Comedy Central wants to take the program in a less political direction. That would be huge mistake from a business perspective because they would be abandoning a large and loyal audience that Stewart spent sixteen years building. But worse, it would be huge loss for the state of satire on television. There are few other places where it is available in such quantity and quality.

The selection of Noah suggests that the network may intend to maintain the current theme of the show. And Noah has praised the current production staff, which hopefully signals an intention to retain the writers and producers that have contributed so much to the show’s success.

After the departure of Colbert, Comedy Central made an inspired choice to give the timeslot to Larry Wilmore. Unfortunately, they delivered a program that doesn’t have the energy and edginess of its predecessor. Replacing an expertly scripted and rehearsed comedy program with one that is mostly a panel of talking heads could not possibly live up to the iconic stature of the Colbert Report. [More on that here]

Reaction to Noah’s selection has been mostly positive, citing his youth and international outlook as assets that could expand the audience and make it relevant to a new generation. Ironically, those are the same qualities that some critics are citing as drawbacks. In a hilarious critique by the cretins at Breitbart News, editor-in-chief Joel Pollack complains that Noah will be limited by “his specialty in racial and ethnic humor,” and that the new show “probably won’t last more than six months on the air.” But the Breitbrats have been trash-talking the Daily Show for years. So it comes as no surprise that Pollak would compose this bit of dumbfuckery:

“The reason Stewart is funny–even, at times to conservatives–is that he has a deep understanding of American politics, and especially American media, even if his ideological blinders prevent him from understanding every issue. That is not something a crack team of writers can produce on demand for any host, much less one from overseas, even for a fast learner like Noah.”

As usual Pollak’s brain is AWOL. Never mind his first-ever admissions that Stewart is funny and “has a deep understanding of American politics,” Pollak’s own ideological blinders have prevented him from recalling that John Oliver, another overseas alien invader, adroitly filled-in for Stewart for three months in 2013, and went on to achieve his own success at HBO.

You do not need to be born in America to understand American politics and media. Pollak, of all people, should know this as someone who was born in South Africa. Now he runs an American political media website and has the nerve to presume that another South African is unable to grasp the same subjects.

If Noah brings half the wit and charm that Oliver did, the next generation Daily Show has a good chance of matching and surpassing the program’s historic appeal. And as the video below shows, Noah has a pretty good handle on the wit and charm stuff.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Jon Stewart Warns That Watching Fox News Will Indelibly Burn Your Soul

The least humble network in cable news is whining (again) about not getting credit for something that they think they got right. It’s a rather embarrassing display of pretentious Narcissism that plays perfectly into the hands of the Daily Show’s Jon Stewart.

Jon Stewart Fox News

Sparking the smackdown was Fox’s Megyn Kelly, who insisted that she, Sean Hannity, and others at Fox had correctly refused to accept the rallying cry of protesters in Ferguson, Missouri, “Hands up. Don’t Shoot.” Her immodest appeal for applause came after a Department of Justice report finding that there was not sufficient evidence to charge Officer Darren Wilson with violating the civil rights of Michael Brown, the unarmed teenager Wilson fatally shot.

This set Stewart off on a hilarious rant (video below) about how Fox is constantly exalting themselves. He conceded Kelly’s argument that she was unjustly denied the acclaim she deserves for the three times in ten years that she was allegedly right. He further points out that, like a solar eclipse, “You can’t look directly at Fox. It will indelibly burn your soul.”

However, most of Stewart’s wit was aimed at how taken Fox News is with itself. There is an hysterical montage of Foxies congratulating themselves and even thanking God that they exist. Stewart observes that this magnitude of self love is aptly analogous to Fox’s relative immaturity.

“I get it now. You’re network launched in 1996. You’re 18 years old. And just like every other 18 year old, you have a massive ego and spend 24 hours a day jerking yourself off.”

While Stewart was typically brilliant comedically, he was overly generous in acquiescing to Kelly’s demand to be praised for the accuracy of her journalism. In fact, the DOJ report also found that the Ferguson police department had engaged in a “pattern and practice” of racism for many years. It was that conduct that produced the sort of suffering and grievances that the citizens of Ferguson were protesting. It went far beyond the sloganeering that Fox was so anxious to focus on. And Fox virtually ignored the part of the DOJ report that exposed the systemic racism in Ferguson.

So Kelly was not right and deserved no recognition for anything but her repeated misrepresentations. Nevertheless, Stewart once again created an entertaining and enlightening segment that sadly reminds us that he will not be doing it for much longer. So enjoy it now, while you can.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Will George Zimmerman Be The Next Tea Party Republican For President?

Two years ago News Corpse published a satirical article announcing that Fox News had signed teen murderer George Zimmerman to host a new program called “Stand Your Ground.” The article purported to have sources inside Fox who confirmed the news and noted that…

“The controversial signing is consistent with Fox’s programming philosophy of exploiting the transient publicity of media spectacles by drafting the beneficiaries of inordinate press attention, despite a lack of experience or qualifications – e.g. Sarah Palin.

Fox News George Zimmerman

“The preliminary format for the Zimmerman program is said to consist of segments analyzing breaking crime dramas such as murderous spouses, kidnapped sorority girls, celebrity arrests, high-speed police chases, and any stray rumors involving presidential sex scandals. Fox News contributor, and noted racist ex-cop, Mark Fuhrman, will have a regular spot on the panel segment to offer his expertise in undermining criminal prosecutions with racial epithets. In that respect Fuhrman, who famously extolled the virtues of the “N” word, shares common ground with Zimmerman who regards innocent black teenagers walking through his neighborhood as “fucking punks.”

Well, it turns out that that may not have been far-fetched enough. Zimmerman has now released a video (below) he made with his divorce lawyer that positions him for a starring role in the Republican presidential primary. Sensing the Tea Party’s affection for strident anti-Obama ranting, Zimmerman is now joining the Obama Derangement Society in blaming the President for anything and everything they can think of. If Obama can be blamed for ISIS, cop shootings in Ferguson, and even Hurricane Katrina, then why not make him responsible for Zimmerman’s prosecution for murdering an unarmed kid. On that matter Zimmerman said that the President was…

“…pitting Americans against each other totally based on race […] for him to make incendiary comments as he did, and to direct the Department of Justice to pursue a baseless prosecution he, by far, overstretched, overreached, even broke the law in certain aspects.”

Adopting the rhetoric that Obama is “lawless” puts Zimmerman in the company of folks like Ted Cruz and Rand Paul and Ben Carson, all regarded by the GOP as viable candidates while spewing baseless and irrational charges. For the wingnut constituency, that’s all it takes to be considered presidential timber. After all, Carson has no more experience than Zimmerman to be the leader of the free world, and he is taken seriously by the Teabaggers. So why not Zimmerman? It’s just a matter of time, unless Fox scoops him up first.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Captain Oblivious: Bill O’Reilly Denies That Fox News Is Conservative – Jon Stewart Proves It

After nineteen years of flogging the most partisan right-wing propaganda and serving as the PR division of the Republican Party, It is astonishing, and somewhat comical, that Fox News can still present itself as “fair and balanced.” That delusion requires a measure of either self-deception or rank dishonesty that defies comprehension.

Bill O'Reilly

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And yet, that is precisely the position taken by Fox’s Godfather of Gumption, Bill O’Reilly. On Thursday’s program O’Reilly butted heads gently with his frequent guest and sycophantic hanger-on, Bernie Goldberg, who tried meekly to assert the obvious.

Goldberg: Liberal news organizations are gonna play down liberal screw-ups. But Fox News is gonna play down conservative screw-ups.
O’Reilly: I disagree with that. Let me tell you why.

Thereupon, O’Reilly set out to prove that he and his “flagship” show is a paragon of neutrality goodness. As evidence he bragged about featuring “unbiased” commentators like Charles Krauthammer and Brit Hume. Which is a little like saying that inviting David Duke to dinner proves you’re not a racist. O’Reilly goes on to insist that rabidly partisan Fox hacks like Megyn Kelly, Bret Baier, and Chris Wallace are ideological straight shooters. And while Goldberg agrees with him on every count, he still asks O’Reilly incredulously…

Goldberg: So Fox isn’t the conservative network? Is that what you’re trying to tell us?
O’Reilly: What I’m saying to you is that I never bought that Fox is the conservative network. I buy that Fox gives conservatives a voice that they don’t have on the other networks. There’s no right-wing jihad on this network. If somebody’s screwing up on the right they get hammered.

Well, except for all the times that Fox has simply declined to mention conservative screw-ups, scandals, and blatant lies. And when Fox can’t help but mention some right-wing fiasco, they devote most of their time and energy to defending the wingnut miscreants responsible for it.

A conveniently timed example of this came in a segment from Thursday’s Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Reporting on the hypocrisy of Fox News coverage of the Justice Department’s investigation of police conduct in Ferguson, Missouri, Stewart noticed Fox’s one-sided focus on the exoneration of officer Darren Wilson, while completely ignoring the DOJ’s conclusions that the Ferguson PD engaged in routine discrimination and racist behavior. Stewart compared Fox’s response to the DOJ report with their non-response to a Republican House Intelligence Committee’s report debunking the lies that Fox had been telling about Benghazi for years. Summing up he succinctly articulated…

“…the beauty that is the ugliness of Fox News. They demand accountability for anger and divisiveness, whilst holding themselves entirely unaccountable for their anger and divisiveness.”

You’ll be waiting a long time for Fox News to apologize for getting virtually everything wrong about Benghazi. Apologies are a foreign concept to Fox. And O’Reilly is the poster boy for arrogant refusals to take responsibility for mistakes, deceptions, and outright lies. The recent unveiling of a career-long pathology of dishonesty and personal glorification, complete with documentary evidence of his deliberate falsehoods, has failed to produce the slightest bit of contrition or shame, much less an apology. To the contrary, O’Reilly’s response has been to lash out by insulting and literally threatening his critics. And when he isn’t on the attack, he resorts to distractions such as this week’s anti-Semitic segment calling Jewish philanthropist George Soros a “Puppet Master” who controls governments and banks and other institutional levers of power.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

O’Reilly’s anger, divisiveness, and evasion of accountability are emblematic of the Fox mindset. And his inability to admit the starkly conservative biases of Fox indicates an acute case of denial. Anyone who continues to believe that Fox News is a fair arbiter of information needs to adjust their meds. And that includes O’Reilly.

Jon Stewart Challenges Fox News To A ‘Lie Off’ – He’s Gonna Lose

Last night Jon Stewart opened The Daily Show with a commentary (video below) on how his announcement that’s he’s leaving did not go unnoticed. He took particular umbrage at Megyn Kelly of Fox News for saying that “he was not a force for good,” and that “in his later years he got a little nasty.” But surprisingly the part that bothered him was “in his later years.” He then insisted that he still has “four to five productive years left,” but eventually he would hit “the last four or five angry confused years, or as they are sometimes referred to, the Fox News viewer demo years.”

Go Fox Yourself

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Then Stewart played clips of Fox Newsers accusing him of ignoring facts to offer nothing but “sarcasm, insults and dishonest editing.” (Sounds like watching Fox News). Once again Kelly was highlighted alleging that Stewart had “no foothold on the facts.” That spurred Stewart to challenge Fox News to a “Lie Off,” a contest that guarantees a victory for Fox News. He then played a six second Vine video that contained 50 Fox News lies. PolitiFact reviewed all of the lies in Stewart’s Vine video and agreed that every single one of them was false (eleven of them Pants On Fire). However, that evidence, as Stewart noted, would have no impact on Fox’s twisted perception of reality because…

“You see…Something of a conventional wisdom about this show has taken hold on the right. A thought that they’ve become so comfortable with that they don’t feel the need to offer evidence to support it. That we lie and distort things all the time to make them look bad.”

Stewart marveled at the suggestion by Rush Limbaugh that he “poisoned the Republican brand,” and after showing hilarious clips of how Limbaugh represented that brand asked “How do you poison a cyanide factory?” Then, challenging the notion that Fox cares about the truth, Stewart stated something that has been obvious for years, that “What matters to the right is discrediting anything that they believe harms their side. That’s their prime directive.”

Despite the conventional “wisdom” that Stewart mentioned, conservative media has often recognized the many times that Stewart’s wit was aimed at President Obama or other Democrats and liberals. Fox News has trumpeted those segments dozens of times. (News Corpse has documented them here and here). Nevertheless, they suffer a peculiar sort of amnesia that causes them to forget his even-handedness whenever they feel like bashing him again over some new perceived slight.

While conservatives may be celebrating the sunset of the Stewart Era on cable TV, they are forgetting that he will be replaced by somebody, and it will probably not be Dennis Miller or Sarah Palin or some other right-wing clown. There is a reason that there aren’t any conservative comedians (or any funny ones). Their world view is inherently humorless. It is consumed by fear and hatred and worship of the privileged. Jokes about the homeless, or sick folks without health insurance, are only funny to the ignorant, the sadistic, and the GOP (or Greedy One Percent), who are only aware of their own selfish concerns.

That’s why Fox News suffices as a comedy channel for conservatives. It’s as close as they can get to it. But liberals also find humor in some of the ridiculous and embarrassing statements that tumble from the tongues of Fox’s personalities. They also learn things from Stewart and gain insight from his well-informed satire. That’s why you hear many of them say that they get their news from Comedy Central and their comedy from Fox News.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

An Open Letter To Rush Limbaugh From The Deranged, Literally Insane, Filled With Hatred, Democrat Party Base

Dear Rush,

Have you finally gone completely off your titanium-reinforced, bubble-enclosed, Viagra IV-fitted, rocker? Not that anyone could tell the difference from what you have been spewing for the last quarter century, but your latest tirade is either evidence of a severe thrombotic stroke, or you are deliberately providing late night comedians with new material.

Rush Limbaugh

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Your re-imagining of recent history with regard to the catastrophic falsehoods that were dispensed by the Bush administration in order to justify the invasion of Iraq is simply preposterous. Rather than recognizing the reams of documentation that the Bush administration mislead the nation and the world about “Weapons of Mass Destruction,” you attempt to turn that fact into a lie saying that…

“One of the biggest lies told during the Iraq war was that Bush lied us into war. That lie, that propaganda has done more damage to this nation’s ability to take on legitimate terrorism with confidence and assurity (sic) and defeat it. For however many years the Iraq war went on, every night on Comedy Central, practically every night, the audience there heard about it was all a lie. That Bush lied, people died, Bush Hitler.”

So it’s Comedy Central’s fault that America has failed to eradicate terrorism from the planet? [Damn you Jon Stewart!] And because of them the U.S. military has been drained of its legitimacy and confidence? That’s a pretty nasty remark to make about the heroes who are defending your freedom. Setting aside your contention that “practically every night” they were associating Bush with Hitler (which is more like never on any night), the assignment of responsibility to a cable comedy network for what you believe to be damaging to military readiness should be cause for concern by those who care for you. But you didn’t stop there:

“Every night for whatever number of years, seven years, six years, Comedy Central, Stewart, Colbert, you name it, Bush lied. The mainstream media, every day, every week, Bush lied. What did that do? In the minds of young skulls full of mush, it turned around the Iraq war into a joke, number one. It turned Bush into a joke. It turned the country into a joke, and it told everybody that everything we were doing over there was illegitimate because we had no business being there, that there was no terrorism.”

For your information, Bush didn’t need any help to be turned into a joke. And America’s “Young Skulls Full Of Mush” [YSFOM: The name of my next punk rock band] had the same opinion as most of the rest of the nation about his criminal adventures in the Middle East. We didn’t have any business being there since it had nothing to do with the attacks on 9/11, and all of the evidence presented as validation was fabricated.

For much of your rant you diverted to subjects that had no bearing on your topic. For instance, you found some excuse to complain bitterly that feminist extremists were pushing an agenda that defined all sex in college as rape. I have a disturbing notion that you are subconsciously projecting your own experiences during your truncated college years which, by all indications, were unsuccessful both academically and socially. And when you returned to the harangue of the day, your hostility could no longer be restrained and was loosed with a fury at the innocent and unsuspecting fans of a television comedy channel:

“Many of these people make up the deranged, literally insane, filled with hatred, Democrat Party base. And Obama can’t call it terrorism because his comedian buddies have spent seven years saying it didn’t exist.”

Well that settles it. Now that you have established that the millions of “literally insane” hate-mongering viewers of political satire are the core of the Democratic Party it will be much easier to dismiss them when they point out that your insights about the President are completely without merit. Where, for instance, did you get the idea that Obama’s comments about terrorism were influenced by “his comedian buddies?” Even if that were true, it’s better than being influenced by the terrorists, which is the case for you, Fox News, and other right-wing bloviators.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

In closing, it is hard to fathom your assertions that the YSFOM ever accused Bush of lying about ISIS since there was no ISIS when Bush was president. Maybe you are conceding the fact that his ill-advised policies resulted in the creation of ISIS and led to a rise in terrorism worldwide. But that would require an assumption that there is still some remnant of sanity in your diseased brain. Lacking any other corroborating evidence of that, it would be safer to assume otherwise.

Yours truly (if you still know what that means),
The Deranged, Literally Insane, Filled With Hatred, Democrat Party Base.
cc: Young Skulls Full Of Mush

Wingnuts Pan Obama’s Funny Video As Undignified, Praise Netanyahu’s As Delightful

There is something about the modern conservative establishment that fosters a deep infatuation with foreign leaders. Whether it be Vladimir Putin or King Abdullah or, most recently, Benjamin Netanyahu.

Konservative Komedy

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This fascination with tyrants and other non-American heads of state is decidedly unpatriotic. And coming from these Tea party, Republican, nationalist zealots, it is also extraordinarily hypocritical.

This week President Obama and Buzzfeed produced and released a short video to alert citizens that the open enrollment period for the Affordable Care Act (aka ObamaCare) would end on February 15, and that anyone interested in acquiring health insurance would need to to do so before then. The video was a humorous affair that sought to inform without banging people over the head with a rhetorical sledgehammer.

The reaction from the rightist killjoys was not dissimilar to that of radical Islamists who would stone people for the sin of dancing. How dare the President lower himself to expressing humor in order to give out useful information. Obviously he’s the Anti-Christ. This is identical to the response by tight-assed GOP’ers to the President’s appearance on Zach Galifianakis’ “Between Two Ferns,” and his interviews with three YouTube celebs. Some of the criticisms include

  • Brain Kilmeade, Fox News: Bad message to friends in peril & heartening to our enemies.
  • Jim Geraghty, National Review: We’re not living in silly times, but we have a silly president.
  • Marc Thiessen, Washington Post: What president says YOLO [You only live once]? It’s just not funny.
  • Michelle Malkin: America’s commander-in-chief is goofing off w/Buzzfeed while the world burns.
  • Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Fox News: On the very day Kayla Mueller is confirmed to be dead at the hands of terrorism, how does our president respond? “YOLO.”

And you wonder why there aren’t any conservative comedians? Maybe because they don’t have the slightest hint of a sense of humor. Maybe because they can watch that video and conclude that it is “heartening to our enemies.” And maybe because what they actually do regard as funny is Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu pretending to be a “Bibisitter,” in a campaign ad. The reaction to Netanyahu’s fairly lame ad by right-wing aficionados of funny included:

  • KT McFarland, Fox News: Whoever said Bibi netanyahu doesn’t have sense of humor? Watch the Bibisitter campaign add – it’s hilarious!!
  • Laura Ingraham, Fox News: Hilarious Benjamin Netanyahu Election Campaign Advertisement.
  • National Review: Bibi Sitter: Benjamin Netanyahu’s new campaign commercial. Very funny.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

No one can argue that the world around Israel is less embroiled in hostilities than the United States. The Middle Eastern nation is surrounded by enemies devoted to their destruction. Yet somehow it’s OK, even hilarious, for Netanyahu to make “funny” videos to promote himself during a reelection campaign despite the turmoil his nation faces. But if Obama makes a funny video to help, not himself, but others who will benefit from having health insurance, he is an ogre who spits on the graves of murdered hostages.

There is an Olympian heap of irony in the fact that conservatives spent years pushing the insane conspiracy theory that Obama was not born in this country, but at the same time they openly yearn for foreigners, some of them unabashed dictators, to take control of America. And yet they still regard themselves as patriots as they feverishly insult our democracy, our President, and the majority of Americans who voted for him twice.

Jon Stewart Is Leaving The Daily Show – Brian Williams Is Leaving NBC News – COINCIDENCE?

Breaking News in the Mediasphere: The controversy surrounding Brian Williams has led to an announcement by NBC management that, effective immediately, Williams will be put on a six month suspension without pay. They describe the punishment as “severe and appropriate” and leave the door open for a return, although without making any overt assurances of that outcome.

Within a couple of hours of that announcement, it was reported that Jon Stewart, host of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, will also be stepping down sometime this year. While there is no scandal associated with Stewart’s separation (that we know of), it is nevertheless a profound blow to the world of media. Stewart has been a sharp, insightful, and hilarious observer of news programming for the past seventeen years.

So what to make of these near simultaneous bulletins? After digesting all of the possible repercussions and consequences, intended and otherwise, there is only one reasonable conclusion that can be reached:

Jon Stewart NBC News

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That’s right. Jon Stewart will be taking over the NBC Nightly News and assuming the duties of managing editor for the network’s news division. It’s an obvious choice considering his long history of media criticism and deep understanding of the workings of contemporary journalism. Stewart knows precisely where the pitfalls are for reporting stories that have real impact on the lives of ordinary Americans. He, more than anyone else, will be able to avoid the sort of embarrassing gaffes that he so deftly mocked on The Daily Show.

As for Brian Williams… What better assignment for someone with an abundance of experience on late night talk shows like David Letterman and Jimmy Fallon (where Williams so brilliantly slow-jammed the news) than to take over the now empty seat on The Daily Show? Williams has proven that he has a quick wit and his spellbinding tales of wartime peril show that he can handle fake news as well as any satirist.

On a serious note, Jon Stewart would be sorely missed under any circumstances. But coming so soon after the loss of Stephen Colbert, the state of political satire is taking a real punch to the gut. Stewart has won nineteen Emmys as writer and producer during his tenure at The Daily Show. And despite the fact that right-wingers suffer a knee-jerk animosity for him, Stewart has been more than fair and balanced. This has even been documented by Fox News who have done more than forty stories (listed here and here) celebrating Stewart’s willingness to go after President Obama and other liberal people or ideas. And his reputation for honesty and accuracy far outshines that of Fox News (see Fox News vs Jon Stewart vs Politifact).

Of Course, whatever grief comedy lovers feel today may be temporary. Colbert will shortly reemerge as the host of CBS’ Late Night. And a new host for The Daily Show will be christened and could be just as talented and stinging as Stewart. Think Lewis Black, W. Kamau Bell, Jessica Williams, Jeff Jeffries, or maybe the husband wife team of Jason Jones and Samantha Bee. Could John Oliver be coaxed back? Dare we hope for Tina Fey? And then we still don’t know what Stewart plans for his next act.

Clearly the landscape is shifting. But hopefully there will be some settling before we get too far into the 2016 election cycle. Till then, thanks for all the good times, Jon, and best wishes for the future. And now…your moment of Zen:

2014: An Epic Year For Conservative Crackpot Conspiracy Theories

Recalling the bygone year, there were enough examples of political foolishness, public embarrassment, and unabashed propaganda, to fill a trainload of FEMA caskets. But nothing comes close to boggling the mind like conspiracy theories rooted in nothing but psychotic paranoia and partisan dementia.

News Corpse has covered much of what the right-wing media has attempted to pass off as legitimate news, but was actually evidence of severe cognitive failure. So, as a reminder of 2014’s most ludicrous departures from reality, here is a compilation of some of the best (worst?) excretions from the imagination of the conservative hive mind.


CONSPIRACY: President Obama Is Trying To Impeach Himself

The evil genius in the White House orchestrated the whole Obama-hate campaign from its earliest days in 2008 just so that he would be able to use impeachment, which is every president’s dream, as an election strategy six years into his presidency. He had the foresight to anticipate that his anti-America agenda, developed in concert with the Muslims and Marxists in his inner circle, would make the 2014 midterms so difficult that he would need something positive, like having himself prosecuted before Congress for high crimes and misdemeanors, in order to stem the tide of opposition that would rise up.

Impeach Obama


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Ben Carson Fears That Obama Will Declare Himself President for Life.

The United States and its democratic system has endured for over 200 years, through economic catastrophes, civil and world wars, Nixonian corruption, and assassinations. Yet Carson thinks that it may all soon be over because of our present economy (with it’s soaring stock market, record profits, and low unemployment), and a band of desert rats 8,000 miles away?

Ben Carson


Glenn Beck Asserts That Obama Purposely Planted Ebola In Dallas

Obviously President Obama’s agenda centers around the fact that he hates Dallas so much that he arranged to have an Ebola-infected Liberian fly there and die. […] First and foremost, it is not true that Dallas “doesn’t particularly care for the President.” In 2012 Obama was reelected with 57% of the vote from Dallas County. That’s a larger margin than he won nationally. Obama also beat McCain in Dallas by the same amount in 2008.

Glenn Beck Ebolamania


Steve Doocy Discovers A Mysterious Photo Of Two Men With One Pair Of Legs.

Doocy: Fox News Alert: New questions about those two Iranian men who boarded flight 370 with stolen passports. Did somebody Photoshop this picture of them, because they both appear to have the same legs. That’s leading many to believe there is a cover-up happening. […] The Malaysians are saying ‘No, we didn’t Photoshop or anything like that. They had a Xerox copy and part of the guy on the left was put on top of the duplicate of the guy on the right. Do you buy that?

Fox News Cover Up Passengers


According To “Doctor” Keith Ablow, Obama Orchestrated The World Cup To Distract From [???]

Somehow Obama orchestrated FIFA’s scheduling of the quadrennial games to coincide with whatever scandal is presently infecting Ablow’s brain so that the American people, who usually ignore soccer, won’t notice that FEMA has already begun incarcerating Tea Party leaders and the EPA is deploying new Pentagon technology to increase global temperatures. What a devious plot our Kenyan in the White House has devised.

Keith Ablow


Conservative Media Freak Out Over Obama’s Plan To Grant Amnesty To 34 Million Illegal Aliens

The usual conservative media mouthpieces are reporting that there is a plot afoot by the Obama administration to grant amnesty to some 34 million “illegal” aliens soon after the midterm election. To put that number into perspective, that’s more than three times as many undocumented immigrants as are currently estimated to be in the United States. It’s a third of the entire population of Mexico. If they all occupied a new state it would be the second most populous state in the country after California with 38 million.

Fox News


Louie Gohmert Accuses Comcast Of Attempting To Silence Glenn Beck

Gohmert found an angle to question the [Comcast/Time Warner] merger that only he could have dreamed up. He believes that Comcast is engaged in a conspiracy to silence Glenn Beck. And Al Gore is in on it along with Al Jazeera who “wanted to get their Sharia law push into the United States.”

Glenn Beck


Pat Caddell Says That It Is Republicans That Want The IRS To Go After The Tea Party

Did the Republicans infiltrate the IRS and orchestrate a strategy to deny Tea Partiers tax-exempt status? Did they conduct sham hearings in the House, led by the crusading committee chair (and recidivist criminal) Darrel Issa, all the while maneuvering secretly to oppress Tea Party organizations and cast the blame on Democrats?

False Flag


GOP Rep Tells Fox News That Obama Plans To Flood U.S. With Foreign Ebola Patients

The plot was discovered by the Republican chairman of the House Judiciary Committee, Bob Goodlatte, who claims to have confidential information that came to him via an “inside source” within the administration. Naturally he takes this skimpy, unverifiable gossip to Megyn Kelly of Fox News. The alarmist anxiety of Rep. Goodlatte is typical of the fear mongering that Republican politicians and pundits engage in so frequently.

Fox News Ebola to America


Fox News Imagines Another Covert Plot Against Rick Perry (And America) By George Soros

Brent Bozell’s op-ed for Fox News is titled “Mainstream media censors Soros’ connection to Rick Perry indictment.” He begins his bill of peculiars by alleging that the media has suppressed the truth about Texans for Public Justice (TPJ), the group that originally filed the complaint against Perry. Bozell claims that “the group responsible for that indictment had received a half million dollars” from Soros. However, there is a very good reason that the press failed to disclose this information: It isn’t true.

Fox News Rick Perry


Fright-Wing News: Fox News Reports, As Fact, The Missing Libyan Planes Hoax

Fox News anchor Jon Scott introduced a segment saying “A potentially terrifying scenario is playing out as we approach September 11. Nearly a dozen airplanes are missing – flat out missing – from an airport in Tripoli, raising new fears of the possibility of another terror attack from the air.”

OMG! That is truly terrifying. I can almost hear the roar of a dozen jet engines filling the sky with thunderous evil as they aim for defenseless skyscrapers packed with unsuspecting victims. Why doesn’t Obama raise the threat level to “Unrestrained Panic” and evacuate America’s cities? Perhaps because the story is not true.

Fox News Missing Planes

Fun With Rush: Limbaugh Explains How The Dreaded Polar Vortex Was Created By Liberals

El Rushbo has dusted off his fake degree in meteorology to explain to his dittohead audience how something that has been studied for decades was just invented by some Democrats this week.

Limbaugh: So, ladies and gentlemen, we are having a record-breaking cold snap in many parts of the country. And right on schedule the media have to come up with a way to make it sound like it’s completely unprecedented. Because they’ve got to find a way to attach this to the global warming agenda, and they have. It’s called the ‘polar vortex.’ The dreaded polar vortex. […] Do you know what the polar vortex is? Have you ever heard of it? Well, they just created it for this week.

Rush Limbaugh


And there you have it. Just a taste of the insanity that has infected one of America’s two major political parties. And all of it occurring in just one hilarity-packed year. The only thing that makes these frighteningly absurd episodes of psychosis even more disturbing, is that in 2015 these are the folks who will be in charge of both the United States House of Representatives and Senate. So happy new Year America, and good luck. You’re gonna need it.