Merry (War On) Christmas: Bill O’Reilly Declares Victory – Again

The Fox News driven War On Christmas is a peculiar conflict that only seems to flare up every year after Thanksgiving. Apparently both sides go into retreat between New Year’s Day and Halloween. But that isn’t the only peculiarity about this war.

Bill O'Reilly
Fox News’ general in the battlefield is Wily Bill O’Reilly. He is by far the most dominant figure in the war. And for proof of that, just ask him. Not only does he take the point every year by exposing any alleged assault on a nativity scene that his staff alerts him to, he proudly boasts about the success of his warrior crusade. Just this week he declared victory, an announcement that hopefully will put an end to the seemingly endless conflagration:

O’Reilly: We challenged them! So, therefore, it isn’t a mythical war on Christmas. It’s real and we just won!

That would be a profound turning point in the Christmas Wars except for the fact that O’Reilly had previously declared victory five years ago:

O’Reilly: “The Factor’s” reporting on Christmas is one of the most important things we’ve done. The underlying assault on this federal holiday is spelled out in my book, “Culture Warrior” if you have an interest. But the bottom line is this. We won.

How many times will Wily Bill claim to have emerged victorious in the same war? Generally when you have vanquished your enemies you do not have to re-vanquish them the following year. But that’s the peculiarity of a war that is waged for ratings, profit, and the adoration of dimwitted troops bravely manning their sofas with remotes at the ready.

So America can thank O’Reilly for saving Christmas – twice – and for preserving the true spirit of the holiday season that he described with such heartfelt earnestness when he said…

“Every company in America should be on its knees thanking Jesus for being born. Without Christmas, most American businesses would be far less profitable.”

If that joyful expression of profit over prophet doesn’t jingle your bells you are two steps lower than Scrooge. So get with the program and join O’Reilly’s crusade for the traditional values that honor greed and corporatism. It’s a vision of the holiday season that was expressed so artfully in music by Miles Davis and Bob Dorough in this classic Christmas carol: Blue Xmas.

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5 thoughts on “Merry (War On) Christmas: Bill O’Reilly Declares Victory – Again

  1. As I like to say, and saw a meme on this not too long ago… Let’s not put Christ back in Christmas, let’s put it back into Christians.

    Why, you may ask, because mostly all of the traditions associated with Christmas has NOTHING to do with Jesus or birth or Christianity for that matter. Santa, reindeer, elves, North Pole…Nope, Trees…Nope (even Big Bang Theory explained that one), Gift Giving…Nope (pagans did this prior to for Winter Solstice). So only real thing left is the little bright star to put on top of the tree mimicking the Star of Bethlehem, or an angel.

    And what a war this is … I mean look at all those people decorating their homes and such for Christmas and other holidays … look at all those profits for retailers … I mean Christmas is going down for sure … :)

    • It’s all about the consumer – it really has gotten exhausting. A little peace would be nice.

  2. Someday Bill-O will go away and I’ll be able to have Christmas without him declaring war on it.

  3. If there is a war on Christmas, then Bill O’Reilly is that war’s corrupt military industrial complex!

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