For those of you who were out last night celebrating the fundamental transformation of 2013 into 2014, you had the great misfortune of missing all the action on the Fox News All American New Year’s Eve. And if not getting to hear Susan Boyle’s rendition of Auld Lang Syne, or seeing a yawn-inducing interview of a couple of Dynastic Ducks doesn’t fill you with regret, then the Sarah Palin segment should do the trick.
Perhaps the most notable part of Palin’s infamous word-salad schtick was her new year’s resolutions which began with a vow to “Eat more meat,” in 2014 (and I’m not touching that one with a ten foot moose antler). After increasing her odds of contracting acute heart disease, Palin also pledged to “Make our federal government as irrelevant in our lives as possible,” presumably to end safety standards for the meat products (and other food and drugs) she consumes. Although she certainly wouldn’t miss the government’s involvement in law enforcement, infrastructure development, academics, diplomacy, and anti-poverty programs like Social Security and food stamps, either. Finally she promised to “Take former UCLA coach John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success and live it out.” That should keep her busy since to date she hasn’t exhibited a single one of the traits Wooden advocates.
However, the part of the broadcast that was by far the most fun was when a roving Fox reporter asked a Times Square reveler to comment on the joyous occasion. She promptly flipped the bird to Fox’s cameras and said “We got five minutes until 2014 and we’re gonna fuck shit up.” The reporter dismissed the profanity as “a little bit of the adventure of live television,” but I think it was really a sneak preview of Fox’s new slogan for 2014: Fox News: We’re Gonna Fuck Shit Up.
Have a happy, healthy new year everybody.
Fox News, fuckin’ shit up yesterday, today and tomorrow. That is one of their founding principles!
It was Miami Beach, not Times Square (note the clothing), and I looked at it three times and didn’t see her flipping the bird. But otherwise, the f-bomb was sweet.
Yeah right – Miami. Thanks. As for the bird-flipping, I captured it in the graphic above.
Naw, not as bad as Obama, the worst president since Harding has done!
Oh, please – Harding actually accomplished something. And as soon as we recall what it was, we’ll discuss it…
Whatever Fox News had on for New Year’s Eve had to have been better than having Kathy Griffin gross everybody out on CNN again.
Man, I just don’t get that. Anderson Cooper is a 1st-class journalist and by all accounts a nice guy. Why he lets himself get debased with that “Walking Dead” reject every New Year’s Eve is beyond me.
Im glad Sister Sarah is for more self reliance–now we can cut back the huge subsidy Alaskans receive from the Federal government They receive about $1.35 in Federal money for every Federal tax dollar they pay in
Like all red states, without exception.
See Catman and Des, we can agree. I’m all for that – but I wouldn’t stop at Alaska. Significantly reduce federal taxes and let all the States take care of themselves. Feds can do what they could be good at doing (which isn’t much, but there is a place for it). Just think how much more money would be available for people close to home if the feds stopped thieving so much from the population. Then “Red” and “blue” states could work on things more closely with the people and government could return to the people as it should be. I’m going to make a real effort to not be so ignorant on this site this year.