Rock stars and other celebrities commonly make special requests when on the road to satisfy their peculiar needs for comfort. Perhaps the most notorious of these was Van Halen’s request for a bowl of peanut M & M’s with all the brown ones removed.

Well, move over Dave. The Smoking Gun has obtained the Downtime Requirements for V.P. Eagle Eye Dick Cheney. Under an instruction that dictates that, “The items list below are required,” number six on the list demands particular attention:

“All Televisions tuned to FOX News.”

I have nothing to add.