The candidates may not ask each other direct questions.
The candidates shall not address each other with proposed pledges.
The candidates will refrain from acknowledging that anyone else is in the room.
Prior to the debate, each candidate must submit any paper, pens and/or pencils to the Commission staff.
Prior to the debate, audience members will be asked to submit their questions in writing to the moderator.
Prior to the debate, the FBI will conduct background investigations on all participants to affirm appropriate loyalty to The Leader.
The candidates shall enter the stage upon a verbal cue from the moderator.
The candidates shall proceed to center stage and shake hands.
The candidates shall take their postions behind their podiums.
The candidates shall do the hokey-pokey and turn themselves around, because that is what its all about.
The Oct 8 debate will be conducted in an audience participation (“town hall”) format.
If an audience member attempts to participate in the debate…the moderator shall instruct the audience to refrain from any participation.
If any audience member poses a question materially different from the one submitted, the commission shall cut off the microphone, cover his/her head with a bag and administer a shock to the genitals.
Each candidate may move about in a pre-designated area.
At no time shall either candidate move from their designated area behind their respective podiums.
The pre-designated areas of the candidates may not overlap.
Allemande left and do-si-do, dixie twirl and away you go.
The parties agree that they will not issue any challenges for additional debates.
The parties agree that they will not appear at any other debate.
The parties agree that they will pretend that these are actually debates.
If a candidate exceeds the permitted time for comment, the moderator shall interrupt by stating, “I am sorry, your time is up.”
If a candidate exceeds the highest deficit in history, presides over a loss of 2 million jobs, and engages in an elective war that makes the nation less safe, the moderator shall interrupt by stating, “I am sorry, your time is up.”