The Official Debate Rules Handbook
- The candidates may not ask each other direct questions.
- The candidates shall not address each other with proposed pledges.
- The candidates will refrain from acknowledging that anyone else is in the room.
- Prior to the debate, each candidate must submit any paper, pens and/or pencils to the Commission staff.
- Prior to the debate, audience members will be asked to submit their questions in writing to the moderator.
- Prior to the debate, the FBI will conduct background investigations on all participants to affirm appropriate loyalty to The Leader.
- The candidates shall enter the stage upon a verbal cue from the moderator.
- The candidates shall proceed to center stage and shake hands.
- The candidates shall take their postions behind their podiums.
- The candidates shall do the hokey-pokey and turn themselves around, because that is what its all about.
- The Oct 8 debate will be conducted in an audience participation (“town hall”) format.
- If an audience member attempts to participate in the debate…the moderator shall instruct the audience to refrain from any participation.
- If any audience member poses a question materially different from the one submitted, the commission shall cut off the microphone, cover his/her head with a bag and administer a shock to the genitals.
- Each candidate may move about in a pre-designated area.
- At no time shall either candidate move from their designated area behind their respective podiums.
- The pre-designated areas of the candidates may not overlap.
- Allemande left and do-si-do, dixie twirl and away you go.
- The parties agree that they will not issue any challenges for additional debates.
- The parties agree that they will not appear at any other debate.
- The parties agree that they will pretend that these are actually debates.
- If a candidate exceeds the permitted time for comment, the moderator shall interrupt by stating, “I am sorry, your time is up.”
- If a candidate exceeds the highest deficit in history, presides over a loss of 2 million jobs, and engages in an elective war that makes the nation less safe, the moderator shall interrupt by stating, “I am sorry, your time is up.”
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