How Do You Solve A Problem Like Glenn Beck?

Glenn Beck has managed to elevate himself to a unique position in American demagoguery. He descends from a genetic family that includes Father Charles Coughlin, Morton Downey Jr., and Rev. Jim Jones, with a little of Tammy Faye Bakker’s trademarked tearyness thrown in. He has broadened his reach by virtue of his radio and television shows, his book publishing, and his Internet sites. He aims to rival the omnipotence of the Messiah he thinks he is becoming.

Unfortunately, Beck has also assumed a position that Mark Twain once ascribed to the weather: Everyone talks about Beck, but nobody does anything about him.

The problem is that there aren’t many avenues of attack available for Beck’s opponents. He cannot be exiled from the Internet. His books will be feverishly hoarded by his devotees. Radio is already hopelessly enshrouded in Dark Ages conservatism. And on television, the most sensitive medium to market forces, Beck has found a home where he is welcome despite a successful advertiser embargo.

It’s television that poses the greatest challenge. Beck’s presence has taken root at Fox News. His invulnerability to lack of revenue, and even ratings declines, is a revealing example of the problem faced by his critics as well as his bosses at Fox and/or News Corp. Not that Fox is interested in jettisoning their deluded prophet. But moving up the ladder there may be evidence that the patience of some News Corp honchos could be wearing thin. Members of Rupert Murdoch’s family, who will inherit his media empire, have not been shy about their distaste for the wild-eyed antics of Beck and his ilk. Murdoch’s son-in-law publicly said that he was ashamed and sickened by Roger Ailes.

However, there is a dilemma that any Beck foe would encounter within or without Murdochia. And that is the cult-like devotion of Beck’s disciples. If Fox made an attempt to cancel his program, or even reschedule it to a less attractive time slot, the blow back from the BeckPods would be hurricane force. It wouldn’t make any difference if there was a legitimate reason for the move related to revenue or ratings. Beck’s Brigades would assert that it was censorship, oppression, tyranny. They would, of course, blame it on President Obama and his coterie of czars. And they would make Fox pay the consequences for caving in. This puts Fox at Beck’s mercy. The consequences of firing him, even with justification, would be too severe.

Consequently, the only way to liberate us from the cesspool of maniacal scare-mongering that is Glenn Beck, is for him to deliver the fuel for his own downfall. Only if he were to bitterly betray his carefully constructed persona would his disciples accept a rejection of him by his media masters. That means some sort of financial impropriety, inexcusable hypocrisy, or best of all, a sex scandal. Seeing as how the first two have occurred with some regularity, that leaves only the third option as plausible.

A couple of weeks ago a writer at the Huffington Post published an article wherein he offered $100,000 to anyone who could produce a sex tape of Beck (who would have the intestinal fortitude to watch?) or provide other evidence of misbehavior. The article was quickly deemed to be inappropriate and was removed from the site for violating its standards.

But when it comes to inappropriate publishing, The Globe Magazine has no such standards to constrain it.


The current cover features a teaser for an article that reveals the “Glenn Beck Sex Tape Scandal and the Mystery Woman Behind It.” [Spoiler Alert: The Mystery Woman is Michelle Obama.] The Globe’s “source” alleges some sort of plot by the First Lady to defend the President by getting rid of his chief critic. Leave it to the Globe to invent a phony sex tape myth that makes Beck the victim of a panicky White House.

While the Huffington Post and the Globe have both ventured into the inane, they have also recognized the most likely path to putting Beck on the fast track to has-been obscurity. Finding the ethical chink in Beck’s celestial armor is the only way to cast him off without arousing the ire of his congregation.

Let’s face it, Beck is no saint. There is almost certainly a closet in his estate(s) that is jam-packed with skeletons. And setting them loose would be a great service to America, to democracy, and to mankind. I’m not going to announce a bounty on Beck’s head as HuffPo did. I’m merely pointing out that the bar to removing Beck from the mediasphere is pretty high, even for the folks at News Corp. And I’m predicting that, if Beck does get canned (as he deserves), it will be because of some revelation that is too embarrassing to overcome, not because of a rational decision related to business or a renewed interest in honesty and journalistic ethics.

I can’t wait.

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11 thoughts on “How Do You Solve A Problem Like Glenn Beck?

  1. I CANT READ YOUR ARTICLES WITH GIANT ADS BLOCKING THE FIRST TWO PARAGRAPHS!! i wanna read em….so fix THE ADS

    • I have no idea what you’re talking about.

      Can you tell me what ads you are seeing? Also what browser you are using? PC or Mac?

      I have checked the site in multiple environments and do not see any ads blocking anything. Also, you are the first person to ever make this complaint.

      Thanks.

      • Yeah, sorry. I’m on my PS3, so I dunno what browser it is, but they go away after I hit the back button once or twice so it’s no longer a problem. Also, it seems this browser has a problem with the homepage’s list of newest articles, I don’t see the newest ones on the list for several days and by that point there are several to read. It’s probably just this notoriously crappy browser. Love the site! Keep on keepin on!!

        • Hmmm…I actually haven’t checked the site on game consoles, so that’s something I should look into. However, it sounds like you may have a caching issue (where the browser stores data it thinks it’s going to use again). Especially the part about not showing the most recent articles. Sometimes just refreshing the page will update it because the cache is storing an older version of the page.

          Thanks for the info and your kind words.

  2. What problem are you trying to solve? As long as people like what he’s saying, they’ll keep coming back for more. That is one of the great things about of our captialistic society. There is no viable alternative from the opposite side of the issues he champions – clearly the left has nothing people want to hear or buy on a daily basis or there would be loads of those kinds of programs on TV and radio. Maybe Glenn Beck’s popularity says more about about what the people really want – no one can deny he’s made a difference since taking on our current president’s agenda and his staffing choices, which is I guess the reason for this write up. I would say the general public doesn’t like what left wing media (whatever form is takes) is selling since the publice keeps buying right wing news and commentary to a degree that so many people have been able to make a living and more keeps cropping up and there is an audience to be found. Right now – if he chose to run for president, I bet he could make a strong showing or even possibly win – look at Barak Obama – people bought his nonsense because it sounded so nice and was delivered so well and look what we got.

    • What problem am I trying to solve? Really? You don’t know? How about the problem of an ignorant, lying, wannabe Messiah, distorting facts and misleading the people.

      Beck is the antithesis of capitalism. In a rational market-based environment Beck would have been fired long ago. His show has lost more than a hundred advertisers. It is a money loser. It has alienated millions, making more critics than fans. That’s not generally what TV programmers are looking for. Plus he has lost a third of his viewers since the beginning of the year. He is being retained by Fox for reasons that have nothing to do with capitalism.

      The abundance of conservatives on TV and radio only proves that the media is run by conservatives. The right-wing corporations that control the media have promoted conservative programming and kept liberals off the air. It isn’t because the market has decided – it’s because Clear Channel and their ilk have decided.

      • All true free and open capitalistic environments – which the US is closest to, are rational because the people and their money decides what survives. you can’t possibly believe that any of the conservative radio and TV shows would still be increasing in number and surviving if there was not a positive revenue stream. He – GB – is stating his point of view – it may not be what you and others like, but it’s his and those who chose to follow are doing so by their own choice. You have very little recourse except to hope he stumbles and does something that is contrary to what he pushes and the rest of the media, which doesn’t seem all that supportive of him, jumps all over it as you suggested in your article. By your account, he is no different than any DC politician.

        • The conservative radio and TV shows are not increasing in number or revenue. And they are surviving due to their support by their corporate owners. I don’t “believe” this. I KNOW it for a fact. Look up their ratings. Beck’s numbers are down significantly. He has ZERO advertisers in the UK, but is still on the air. Murdoch is subsidizing him for propaganda purposes. What other explanation is there for carrying a show that loses money? Murdoch also subsidizes his Fox Business Network and the New York Post which lose tens of million every year.

      • Mark – one other commetn – you used the term Messiah in your reply. Sounds a lot like when Barak Obama was running for president – the bandwagon was treating him like some kind of messiah – look what that got everyone – a big letdown – although I was never on his bandwagon and never will be so my opinion was already low with respect to him and how I perceived him as a leader. Maybe people are looking for a decent person to lead this country and they keep hitching on to the next big thing. Sad commentary, but that’s what it looks like. I like Glenn Beck but he get’s a bit depressing sometimes and I can’t watch that much of him.

        • The talk of Obama as a Messiah was all from the right and was meant derogatorily. It was never anything that Obama did or said.

          Beck, on the other hand, actively promotes himself as a Messianic figure. He openly preaches his religious beliefs. He cites himself as the only one who “sees” the truth. He talks frequently of his demise at the hands of dark forces, and how his message will survive him. He is creating for himself a Messiah myth that is just plain sick.

          I’m glad to hear that you don’t watch him much. You might want to stop defending him. He just makes the conservative movement look insane.

          • I would defend anyone’s right to speak and be what they are – it’s way too important in this day and age. The conservative movement gets it’s best help from our president and his in my view – his insane left ideology – he does way more for the conservative movement by his presence and what he pushes and says on a daily basis than Glenn Beck does through whatever he says. I would say President Barak Obama MADE Glenn Beck the success he is – you should thank him. Now there is a way to stop Glenn Beck – vote someone else in for President in 2012.

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