The latest Tea Party Mama Grizzly to ascend within the ranks of the GOP asylum is Delaware candidate for senate, Christine O’Donnell. Last Tuesday O’Donnell defeated “moderate” Republican, Mike Castle and will face Chris Coons in the general election in November. This should be fun considering her record as an unabashed schizoid. But between now and then she will have to undergo an extreme right-wing makeover.

After O’Donnell’s surprise victory she immediately announced that she would appear on both Fox News Sunday and CBS’s Face the Nation. But she just as quickly canceled both appearances. This is in keeping with the Republican model this year. Both Rand Paul and Sharron Angle did much the same thing.

The reason O’Donnell canceled is because she had to attend Remedial Republicanism classes (RemGOP 101). As an inexperienced Tea Bagging nominee she has not been properly prepared for her new, high profile, public role. So despite her initial agreement to talk to the press, her handlers have been instructed to reverse course so that her coaching can begin first.

There is much to learn for someone in her position. She has to become acquainted with Facebook and Twitter, and make those the primary outlets for her public statements. This is critical because those platforms protect her from actually engaging in a dialogue or having to respond to annoying questions about her background or agenda. She also has to learn how to dodge, obfuscate, mislead, and smear. These skills are important in the event that she finds herself in a position where she is unable to evade a conventional reporter.

In the few hours after her primary win, O’Donnell made some embarrassing gaffes that illustrate the need for sequestering her in the RemGOP re-education facility. She proved that she doesn’t even know basics like Media Freeze-Out. The fact that she would book a non-Fox interview is evidence of just how far behind she is in her studies. To catch up she will have to buckle down and cram for the next few days.

Luckily she has many experienced tutors to help her bone up for the final exam on November 2nd. Paul, Angle, Joe Miller, Ken Buck, and of course, Sarah Palin, have all demonstrated their expert ability to avoid all press contact except, of course, for Fox News. And even then, stay away from “news” related programming by only visiting friendly, partisan, hacks, like Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity.

O’Donnell must heed the advice of her mentors. Sarah Palin recently told Fox’s O’Reilly that O’Donnell should “Speak through FOX News.” Sharron Angle has a policy of only appearing on TV programs that allow her to beg for money. These are amongst the lessons that O’Donnell needs to internalize and adhere to.

It’s a good thing for these GOP cowards that the media doesn’t care if they are being played for saps. Palin can fire off rounds from the safety of her Facebook page and the press dutifully reports it as if it were newsworthy. Angle, Paul, and the others can flaunt their delinquency knowing full well that what they say on Fox News, or at podiums before Tea Bagger rallies, will still be covered by the rest of the media stenographers. Bob Schieffer of Face the Nation demonstrated the typical behavior of the compliant press when O’Donnell backed out of her booking. Schieffer booked GOP strategist Ed Rollins instead. It never occurred to Schieffer to call Chris Coons, O’Donnell’s Democratic opponent, who ought to be just as timely a guest, except for the fact that he isn’t a whack-job Republican.

So don’t expect to see much of O’Donnell between now and election day outside of the warm confines of Fox News. The same goes for her role models and mentors. If there is one thing you can be certain that the right-wing does well, it’s teaching their wards how to dodge scrutiny and manufacture their own PR.