Sunday Funnies: Gun Nut Thinks He Invented Assault Rifle With Muslim Kryptonite

A gun manufacturer in Florida was so afraid that his weapons might be acquired by terrorists that he set out to create an assault rifle that would cause Muslims to spontaneously combust if they so much as touched it. His ambition to produce this Muslim Kryptonite was driven by a combination of his overt bigotry and raving stupidity (which always go hand in hand).

Jesus Warmongers

Ben “Mookie” Thomas of Spike’s Tactical in Apopka, FL, produced a video to introduce his $1,400.00 Crusader AR-15 with industrial strength Islamicide™ – guaranteed to repel any Muslim who attempted to pick up or fire the gun. The miracle breakthrough that Mookie discovered was to etch a Bible verse onto the side of the weapon. He chose Psalm 144:1 which says “Blessed be the Lord my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle.” According to the Mook “This insures that no Muslim terrorist will ever pick up this weapon to use it to bring harm against another person.”

What a super-genius this Mookie is. He came up with a totally real and effective method of Muslim-proofing an ultra-patriotic American assault rifle. It would be even better if he actually knew anything about Islam or Christianity. Because, as it turns out, the Psalms are found in the Old Testament which Islam regards as revealed truth. This particular Psalm is quoting King David who Muslims consider to be a prophet sent by God. Consequently, what Mookie created is a gun that any Muslim can carry and use with the blessings of Allah. Thanks, Mookie.

In at least one respect Mook’s foolishness is a positive thing. Because if he were right about this it would mean that no Muslim fighting against ISIS and other Islamic extremists would be able to use this weapon. It would mean that no Muslims in the U.S. military would be able to use it to defeat our enemies. Apparently he doesn’t know that most of the people engaging in battle against Middle East terrorists are actually other Muslims. They are also the ones most victimized and terrorized and in need of defensive arms.

This is just the latest episode of the continuing sitcom “The Floridiots.” In the last episode a firearms dealer in Inverness, Fl, pledged to create a “Muslim-free zone” by refusing to sell them any weapons or permit them to use their training and shooting ranges. Aside from the fact that he was violating the First and Second Amendments to the Constitution, and several federal anti-discrimination laws, he never revealed how he would identify the subjects of his racism other than by skin color. It’s a non-stop comedy extravaganza.

A common thread that runs between these jokers is that they like to insist that they aren’t racists. In the case of the Inverness gun dealer, he delivered his totally not racist spiel while standing in front of America’s pro-slavery banner, the Confederate flag. And in Mookie’s case, he took the extra step of naming his Muslim-repelling rifle the “Crusader” and etching onto it a version of the cross used by the Knights Templar during the Crusades. What better symbol of equality than one that represents one of history’s most brutal genocidal campaigns orchestrated by radical Christian terrorists?

This festival of festering prejudice is brought to you, of course, by Fox News, where Mookie’s story was featured prominently on at least two occasions. That’s the same Fox News that is currently trying to paint the #BlackLivesMatter movement as a hate group for trying to reform the criminal justice system and restore community relations between African-Americans and law enforcement. So be sure to stayed tuned to Fox for more hilarity to come.

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4 thoughts on “Sunday Funnies: Gun Nut Thinks He Invented Assault Rifle With Muslim Kryptonite

  1. Good grief, what next? Porkzookas–Hamgrenades–bacon bits claymore mines? Just the thing to destroy their souls and as an added bonus, repels those pesky Orthodox Jews. What an asshat!

      • Jehawg Ammo!!?? Oh. My. Gawd. That is…..no words, no words…

  2. The stupid hurts! The Onion has stiff competition with these other non-reality based purveyors of nonsense!

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