Donald Trump Can Save The World From ISIS, But Won’t Unless We Let Him Be President

In case you haven’t heard, there is a bloodthirsty terrorist militia marauding through Iraq and Syria, killing innocent, mostly Muslim civilians and making hundreds of thousands refugees as they flee the crusading army. These same murderous fanatics are threatening to turn the streets of America red with blood. They are being fought by Iraqi and Syrian soldiers, rebel groups who oppose Bashar al-Assad, Shiite militias backed by Iran, Jordanian fighters, and American bombers and drones. Yet they manage to endure and even achieve some measure of victory.

The problem that ISIS presents to the world is clearly one that defies easy solutions. However, that doesn’t stop self-serving demagogues from pretending they have one. So what can realistically be done to put an end to the slaughter? Who will step forward to save us? It can only be the Ego of the East, Donald Trump, who recently unveiled his 2016 campaign slogan:

Donald Trump Hell Hole

It is times like these that we must be grateful to have heroes like Trump walking among us. The ferret-topped reality TV host, and alleged business genius (alleged by him), has come forward to reveal that he knows precisely how to squash the terrorist hoards once and for all. This what he told Greta Van Sustern today on Fox News (video below):

Trump: I do know what to do and I would know how to bring ISIS to the table or, beyond that, defeat ISIS very quickly. And I’m not gonna tell you what it is.

Setting aside the lunatic notion that Trump would ever sit across a table from ISIS negotiating an armistice, his childish refusal to share his military brilliance could be seen by some as rather unpatriotic. After all, people are dying right now and ominous threats of escalation are being thrown around that include domestic attacks.

Now, anyone with a functioning cerebral cortex knows that Trump is not going to run for president. He’s pulled this scam before, and there is no way that he would engage in an activity that would require him to disclose his shady finances. But if we indulge that fantasy for a moment, we would also have to be dumb enough to pretend that he would have a shot at winning the nomination and beating Hillary Clinton. So it would not be until January of 2017 at the earliest that Trump would be able to launch his ISIS-crushing plan. Could Trump be held responsible if another 9/11-like attack occurred in the next year and a half because he withheld his magic formula for victory?

Of course we should believe Trump because he has been so credible on all of the other proclamations he has made in the past. Like the time he said that the private investigators he sent to Hawaii to finally discover where Barack Obama was really born were telling him that “they cannot believe what they’re finding.” Trump never revealed those findings to us, they were that unbelievable.

Then there was the time that Trump told the Kurvy Kouch Potatoes of Fox & Friends that he had “very big news … concerning the president of the United States” that would significantly alter the race between Obama and Mitt Romney. The payoff came several days later he released a cheesy video wherein he made Obama an offer that he could not refuse. Of course, the offer to tempt Obama with a five million dollar bribe to hand over to Trump his college transcripts and passports was not only refused, it was completely ignored.

So now Trump says that he will decide in June whether or not he will run for president (he won’t) and that his decision will surprise everyone. Frankly, I’m surprised he can complete a sentence without drooling.

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Donald Trump’s Campaign Slogan: This Country Is A Hell Hole

Failed businessman and birther, Donald Trump, has not yet announced whether he will run for president in 2016. Of course his failure to make a decision isn’t exactly leaving anyone wondering about what it will be (or caring). He has been down this road too many times and now everyone pretty much knows that he’s just a publicity-seeking fraud. However, last night on Fox News Trump did reveal his fake campaign slogan: “This Country Is A Hell Hole.” [Video below]

Donald Trump Hell Hole

What better way to endear himself to an electorate of Fox pods who are similarly unpatriotic and harbor hateful feelings about an America that elected Barack Obama twice. These pseudo-patriots pretend to be loyal flag-wavers while constantly maligning the country and their fellow citizens who happen to disagree with them. They pretend to support the troops unless they are conducting training exercises in Texas, in which case the same soldiers are invaders bent on imposing martial law. They pretend to adhere to Christian tenets of charity and loving thy neighbor unless their neighbor is black, Muslim, or on welfare (you know how Jesus despised the poor).

And now Trump tells Megyn Kelly how he really feels about America. He’s not alone. A couple of years ago Rush Limbaugh admitted that “I am ashamed of my country.” Not long after that Sean Hannity confessed that “I am humiliated for my country”

Someone should tell these cretins that we’re not exactly bragging about them, either. As for Trump, he will never run for president for at least one unavoidable reason: Candidates have to produce financial statements. Trump won’t do that because he doesn’t want everyone to know what a loser he is (he declared bankruptcy four times). He says that he will announce his intentions next month and everyone will be surprised. Even Megyn Kelly said that she would only be surprised if he runs.

Most Americans are surprised that anyone takes him seriously – or that he takes himself seriously. In the Clown Car of the Republican Party, Donald Trump is riding in the trunk, but he thinks he’s driving.

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And by the way, here is Trump’s campaign theme song:

Stephanopoulos Isn’t The Only Media Donor To The Clinton Foundation (Is He, Fox News?)

The conservative media circus is furiously banging their drums to chastise George Stephanopoulos, host of ABC’s Good Morning America and This Week, for his failure to disclose a donation to the Clinton Foundation. This oversight is being portrayed as an unforgivable offense of partisan bias. As with any matter that can be hyper-dramatized by zealous punditry, Fox News took the lead in running Stephanopoulos through the metaphorical grinder.

Fox News Stephanopoulos

A couple of notes need to be raised in order to fairly assess this situation. First of all, Stephanopoulos donated to a charitable organization, not a political campaign. Thus, it cannot really be regarded as partisan in that the Clinton Foundation does not engage in any political activities. Its mission is purely philanthropic and no fair observer has ever alleged any ideological leanings. Furthermore, unlike a corporate donor or a foreign entity, there isn’t any conceivable benefit that Stephanopoulos might have been seeking in exchange for a donation. Even his critics do not allege that his motives were anything but altruistic.

That said, there are problems with his failure to disclose that impact his reporting when the subject is the Foundation itself. For instance, Stephanopoulos recently interviewed the author of “Clinton Cash,” a book that alleges improprieties on the part of Hillary Clinton in connection to donations to the Foundation. The fact that the book was filled with factual errors and failed to prove its premise does not excuse Stephanopoulos from an ethical duty to reveal that he was also a donor.

Taken in its entirety, this scandalette hardly seems to approach the degree of significance that is being assigned to it by Fox News and other conservative media. There was no effort to extract any personal gain and the ethical lapse did not result in any reportorial distortion. But that hasn’t stopped right-wing muckrakers from attempting to whip it up into a full-blown catastrophe for Stephanopoulos. He has been maligned as hopelessly biased and there have been calls for him to resign or be fired. Fox’s Howard Kurtz described the affair as…

“…such a bombshell that George Stephanopoulos has now had to withdraw as ABC’s moderator in the Republican presidential debate next year.”

What makes the debate moderation move somewhat comical is that last November the chairman of the Republican Party, Reince Priebus, ruled out anyone that he regarded as being unfriendly to the Party’s interests.

Priebus: [the] thing that is ridiculous is allowing moderators, who are not serving the best interests of the candidate and the party, to actually be the people to be deposing our people. And I think that’s totally wrong.

Priebus reinforced that edict yesterday saying that “I’ve been very public about this. George Stephanopoulos was never going to moderate a Republican debate anyway.” Somewhere Priebus got the impression that debate moderators are supposed to serve the interests of the candidates. Certainly the interest of the voters never entered into it. And the last thing that the GOP wants is a debate that is truly spirited and informative. They are looking for something more on the order of an infomercial.

Amidst this tumultuous uproar over the fate of Stephanopoulos and his relatively modest $75,000 gift, what has gone unmentioned is that he is not alone in making donations to the Clinton Foundation. In fact, Fox News has been even more generous than Stephanopoulos. Rupert Murdoch’s son James, the COO of 21st Century Fox (parent company of Fox News), made a donation in the range of $1,000,000-$5,000,000. The News Corporation Foundation contributed between $500,000-$1,000,000. Fox regular Donald Trump forked over between $100,000-$250,000.

There might be more of these types of ethical problems involving media personalities on the right donating to Republican charities like the Bush Foundation. However, we can’t uncover them because the Bush Foundation doesn’t disclose their donors like the Clintons do. Curious, isn’t it?

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So the question is: How can Fox News criticize George Stephanopoulos for his undisclosed donations to the Clinton Foundation, when they have made far bigger donations without disclosing them? What’s more, the donations from the Fox media empire can be regarded as possible bribes since, unlike Stephanopoulos, they have pending business before the government and its regulatory agencies. If Fox News wants to pretend to be “fair and balanced” they need to immediately come clean. And if Stephanopoulos is denied the opportunity to moderate any GOP debates, then Fox News should be prohibited from airing them.

Don’t hold your breath waiting for Fox to act ethically in this matter. They will neither remove themselves from the debate schedule, nor cease their attacks on Stephanopoulos. That’s just the way Fox does business and it will continue despite the obvious hypocrisy and lack of journalistic principle.

Donald Trump Is Running For President – Of Dumbfuckistan

This is a MEDICAL ALERT. If you believe that Donald Trump is running for president, stick an ice pick in your eye to see if you can get your brain started again. Don’t worry about damaging any important grey matter because if you bought Trump’s scam there is little left in your skull to damage.

Donald Trump

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For those paying attention, Trump has been pretending to run for president for decades. He blathers about his “intentions” for a few weeks, insists that he is the only one who can save America from ruin, gets a bunch of idiot pundits to join the speculation, then retreats to his Manhattan penthouse to restock his bar and fluff his weasel-hair toupee. In his latest fake campaign, Trump announced that…

“Americans deserve better than what they get from their politicians — who are all talk and no action.”

Didn’t he just describe himself for the past thirty years? And why Trump would think that Americans would vote for him when 74%, according to a recent NBC/Wall Street Journal poll, view him negatively (the lowest by far of all candidates), and his track record in business includes four bankruptcies, is a question that only Trump’s ego can answer.

Trump’s platform consists mainly of anti-Obama mythologies such as his Kenyan birth, his Muslim faith, his ghost-written books, and his fake academic credentials. Trump has bought in to every hysterical conspiracy theory that has ever been floated about Obama. But who can deny Trump’s own resume that prepares him to lead the free world? After all, he has appeared on a reality TV show alongside Gary Busey and Meatloaf. What more could you want?

The best evidence that Trump is not running for anything other than the attention of dimwitted Fox News pundits and Tea Party basket cases is the response by NBC to his announcement that he will not be returning to Celebrity Apprentice. A spokesman for the network told Politico that “NBC Entertainment is planning to go ahead with production,” and that they would not be making any further comments. Notice that nothing in their statement confirmed that Trump had quit. Generally when that occurs the network would express its gratitude for the many years working together and extend their best wishes for the future. If NBC had the slightest inkling that Trump was serious they would not be committing production budgets and personnel to business as usual.

So to those who still think that a broadly unpopular loser, whose TV bosses don’t even believe him, is actually throwing his wig in the ring, please report to the nearest mental hospital. Trump would have a better chance of winning his Miss USA beauty pageant than a ticket to the White House. Although he would need a new hairpiece and some sort of act for the talent portion of the show.

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Addendum: In the highly unlikely event that Trump goes through with this charade (delighting Democrats everywhere), NBC could still proceed with Apprentice by getting Mitt Romney to take over the show. He is another hollow multimillionaire who likes to fire people. In fact, the GOP has a deep bench in that category.

Now THIS is Comedy: The Conservative Political A-Hole Conference (CPAC)

The annual parade of wingnuttery known as the Conservative Political Action Conference has been steaming along for a couple of days now. Most of the star attractions have had their say and the general message that we can take away from the affair is that President Obama is an Islamic terrorist, Hillary Clinton is an old liberal, and ObamaCare, Common Core, the IRS, and immigrants must all be abolished.

How’s that for an electoral platform for 2016? It’s pretty much the same agenda that has been broadcast on Fox News for the past six years. And the clapping conservo-bots in the CPAC conference hall responded precisely the way they were trained to respond. Not a single speaker said anything new or insightful. It was hour after hour of regurgitated right-wing dogma, and it absolutely thrilled the glassy-eyed audience who couldn’t have been more predictable if they were hooked up to a machine.

GOP Dream Team

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However, just for the sake of entertainment, there were a couple of moments that deserve some special attention. And it wasn’t Ted Cruz whining about ObamaCare, or Sarah Palin pretending to support the troops, or Scott Walker comparing American working people to terrorists, or Ben Carson calling for unity after saying that, because of liberals, America is very much like Nazi Germany. None of those easily foreseeable sentiments earn much more than a yawn. But there was some unintentional comedy displayed at the conference.

First of all, we have Duck Dynasty’s patriarch Phil Robertson. This long-haired, bearded, headbanded, camo-clad freak took a swipe at hippies. Has he ever seen one (or looked in the mirror)? Somehow that clean living, nature loving subculture that faded into obscurity forty years ago is to blame for every sexually transmitted disease in America today. Now that’s a powerful message for a 21st century Republican Party.

Robertson was invited to the conference to receive the Andrew Breitbart Defender of the First Amendment Award, which is not even worth the time or energy to make fun of. In his remarks Robertson divided the nation into the pious patriots for whom the Constitution was written and “any other” treasonous sinners who are not entitled to its liberties:

“You know what’s happened GOP? We’ve got too many “any others” in the White House. It [the Constitution] wasn’t written for them. […] Stand on the Bible, stand on the Constitution, don’t budge. Hold on to your weapons. That’s what brought us here. We had to have all three to run the Brits back to where they came from.”

Let’s just set aside the divisive elitism that Robertson evokes in order to elevate himself above those he regards as his inferiors. Robertson’s assertion that we needed the Bible, weapons and the Constitution to beat back the British has a glaring flaw. There was no Constitution until four years after the Revolutionary War was won and over. And the British also had weapons and the same Bible, but it didn’t lead them to victory.

The other moment of hilarity was the speech by Donald Trump, the reality TV show host who is so bad at real estate that he couldn’t profitably run a casino (a casino!), and has declared bankruptcy four times. Trump, as usual, spent his time bragging and promoting himself as the bestest, toughest, smartest, conservativest person in the room. He said that he is 80% sure that he is running for president. You could still make a bundle betting against it. He will pull out as soon as he is asked to release his financial statements.

Trump ventured back into the birtherism that he has long espoused. He claimed that Obama “wrote a book when he was a young man and it said born in Kenya.” That’s a flat-out lie. Trump also bragged that he was responsible for Obama releasing his birth certificate. That’s a flat-out lie. Then he bleated “Now we have to find out whether or not it was real.” So Trump is still a full-bore birther. Funny, he has never told us what happened to his team of investigators that he claimed he sent to Hawaii. Does he ever get tired of making a fool of himself? What’s worse is that there was a room full of people who applauded his raving madness.

If you thought that 2012 was fun, with its circus of right-wing loonies, you aint seen nothing yet. 2016 is already shaping up to be even wingnuttier. I really can’t wait for the campaign season to get started.

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Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Was Mitt Romney Driven Out Of The Presidential Race By Rupert Murdoch?

The first casualty of the 2016 Republican presidential primary has been revealed to be the winner of the 2012 Republican presidential primary, Mitt Romney. Having only expressed his interest in running about six weeks, the prospective campaign crashed and burned in record time. What might have caused this flame-out?

Rupert Murdoch

It is notable that just two weeks ago Rupert Murdoch, the overlord of the Fox News media empire, made public his opposition to a Romney candidacy. Murdoch said of Romney that “He had his chance,” and that he was “a terrible candidate.” Murdoch also was upset at Romney “for failing to deflect criticism that he was ‘super rich.'” That seems like a rather personal complaint by another member of the “super rich” society.

Subsequent to Murdoch’s public letting, some of his minions began to pile on. Fox News contributors Karl Rove, Sarah Palin, and Donald Trump all commenced to bashing Romney. And many of the Fox primary pundits are already lining up behind Jeb Bush, who Murdoch virtually endorsed. The conventional “wisdom” on the right is that Bush will benefit most from the Romney withdrawal. That, however, is far from certain as a flurry of other “establishment” GOP governors (Walker, Jindal, Kasich, Christie, Perry) are still competing for support and particularly donors.

It is also notable that Romney’s announcement came just one week after he met privately with Bush in Utah. It is inconceivable that there was not a decision made at or about the time of that highly secretive tryst. Did Bush make Romney an offer he could not refuse?

Romney’s statement outlining his reasons for dropping out reads more like a declaration of candidacy. He says that he is “convinced” that “we could win the nomination,” and that “I would have the best chance of beating the eventual Democrat nominee.” So obviously he’s quitting. It’s a unique position to take since most politicians who actually believed that they would win the nomination and the general election would stay and fight. But not Romney. He went on to deliver what appears to be an anti-Bush sentiment saying…

“I believe that one of our next generation of Republican leaders, one who may not be as well known as I am today, one who has not yet taken their message across the country, one who is just getting started, may well emerge as being better able to defeat the Democrat nominee. In fact, I expect and hope that to be the case.”

Who might Romney be talking about? Bush is certainly not one of the next generation, being a veteran Republican pol who would be 64 years old at the start of his first term. And as a member of one of the nations’s most prominent political dynasties, he also could hardly be described as less well known than Romney. Neither is the two-time governor of Florida “just getting started” in politics. So Romney has, in effect, dismissed Bush as the next Republican nominee. And worse, Romney has previously disparaged Bush as facing many of the same obstacles that he faced as a candidate – namely his wealth and elitist status. Romney once said of Bush “You saw what they did to me with Bain [Capital]. What do you think they’ll do to [Bush] over Barclays?”

And that’s it in a wingnut shell. The GOP is cram-packed with rich, privileged insiders who advocate on behalf of their fellow upper-crusters. They will all face the question of allegiance to their high society class to the detriment of the vast majority of Americans. Romney’s absence from the fray doesn’t change any of that. But we know at least one of the fat-cats applauding today’s news is Rupert Murdoch, who is one step closer to crowning his own favorite.

Update: The Ego-tastic Donald Trump is giving himself “full credit” for Romney’s bailout. What a shocker.

Free To Be Dumb: The Republican Iowa Freedom Summit Lives Up To Its Billing

This weekend Rep. Steve King of Iowa, who maligned immigrants as drug mules who “have calves the size of cantaloupes,” and supports dog fighting because laws that protect animal welfare are, “exactly what our founding fathers wanted to avoid,” hosted his annual Iowa Freedom Summit with a star-studded cast of prospective GOP presidential candidates. And Fox News was there to capture every thrilling moment.

Fox News

For some reason Fox thinks it is breaking news that Ted Cruz, Sarah Palin, and Rick Perry said mean things about ObamaCare. Their definition of “thrashing” must be “to mutter childish slogans and stomp your feet.” And they continue to ignore the fact that their calls to repeal it have failed repeatedly, including when the Supreme Court upheld it. Also forgotten is any mention of what they would replace it with as they throw millions of Americans off of their insurance plans.

The timing of this event couldn’t have been better as this week saw the advancement of several possible candidacies, including Sarah Palin and Donald Trump, both of whom were in attendance. Palin distinguished herself by posing with a sign that said “Fuc_ Michael Moore,” as part of her campaign to defend the box office hit, American Sniper. She addressed the same subject in her speech when she further demonstrated her grown up, Christian values by shouting “Screw the left in Hollywood.” Somebody might want to tell her that Hollywood is responsible for the movie she is defending. Note to GOP: She aint running.

The Donald was his typically arrogant, Narcissistic self. He insulted fellow Republican Mitt Romney (a no-show) saying that he would not be a good candidate because “he choked” last time around. He also raised the tender issue of Romney’s 47% remarks and said that his RomneyCare in Massachusetts was enough to disqualify him from further consideration. He also slammed Jeb Bush (another no-show) because of his name saying that “The last thing we need is another Bush.” He may get some agreement from Democrats on that. And of course, he bragged about himself. Even though there is little chance that he will enter the race, like every other time he has pretended to run, he is just promoting his own interests and image (like Palin).

Dr. Ben Carson took the stage to further prove that he must have have missed every class in college except brain surgery. He began by complaining that he doesn’t believe in taking healthcare and “putting it in the hands of the government.” Setting aside the fact that ObamaCare doesn’t do that, he expresses his preference for putting healthcare in the hands of greedy, soulless corporations. And he actually said that even if it worked he would oppose it. Um, OK. Then he declares that immigrants only come to America because it is so attractive. Therefore, he proposes that that be reversed. That might actually work. Make America less attractive and nobody will want to come. However, it’s a terrible campaign slogan, and besides, George Bush already tried that.

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The comedy extravaganza continues with featured guests like Ted Cruz, Mike Huckabee, Chris Christie, and Rick Santorum. The prospective candidates from the so-called “establishment” wing of the party (Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush, Rand Paul, and Marco Rubio) all declined to attend. That may cost them some Tea-fection when the race begins in earnest. But from this small glimpse into the nascent campaign season, it is bound to be a bountiful cornucopia of laughs. Just wait for the debates to get started.

Ebola Panic: Stephen Colbert Beats Fox News Fear Mongers At Their Own Gaminess

News Corpse just wanted to make sure that everyone saw this hilarious segment of the Colbert Report that illustrates how obsessed Fox News is with fomenting fear among their trembling, dimwitted viewers. Of course, Colbert is a good friend of News Corpse as shown by this totally “real” photograph:

Fox Nation vs. Reality - Colbert

In the segment, Colbert skewers the tendency of Fox News to make a crisis out of everything and blame it on President Obama. But the best parts are aimed at the pitiful losers who are often featured on Fox making asses of themselves. For instance, Colbert brings up a favorite of the Fox & Friends Kiddie Krew with this introduction:

“Ebola is spread only through intimate contact with bodily secretions such as vomit, blood, or feces. Speaking of vomit, blood, and feces – Donald Trump…”

Colbert also singles out the neurosurgeon-turned-Teabagger, Ben Carson, by noting that when he was offering his insane speculation about bio-terrorism he was really “just yanking shit out of his ass. But remember, that’s another way Ebola is spread.”

The ridiculous hysteria that Fox is spreading about Ebola is way out of proportion to any actual threat. There have zero deaths due to Ebola in the Untied States. Contrast that with the 53,000 annual deaths from the flu. If you’re intent on worrying about exposure to a virus, you may want to reassess which one to irrationally fear. In fact, you are even more likely to die by your own hand (39,000 annual suicides) than to be killed by Ebola. So whatever you do, don’t get on any plane that you are on.

New York Attorney General Sues Donald Trump For Fraud

There is one person in America who throughout their career has been repeatedly associated with fraud, deception and financial chicanery. But enough about Sarah Palin. This story is about her close runner-up, Donald Trump.

Donald Trump

The New York office of Attorney General Eric Schneiderman has filed a forty million dollar lawsuit against Trump and his phony Trump University (a name he was previously forced to change because it didn’t meet the legal definitions of a university). The Associated Press reports that…

“Trump University engaged in deception at every stage of consumers’ advancement through costly programs and caused real financial harm,” Schneiderman said. “Trump University, with Donald Trump’s knowledge and participation, relied on Trump’s name recognition and celebrity status to take advantage of consumers who believed in the Trump brand.”

The program at Trump U. apparently consisted of charging students $1,500 to attend a worthless three day seminar and then corralling them into the “Trump Elite” program that would extract as much as $35,000 more from the gullible Trump wannabes. Despite being told that they would receive personalized mentoring, the students never met Trump, but did get to pose for pictures with a cardboard cutout, which might actually provide more depth than exposure to the real squirrel-topped pseudo-billionaire.

Trump’s representative responded in a typically abrasive manner, accusing the AG of launching a politically motivated attack on his client. He asserted, without evidence, that Schneiderman was trying to extort campaign contributions from Trump.

Much of Trump’s reputation is rooted in fraud. He is not the business genius his PR agents would have you believe. His companies have wound up bankrupt on four separate occasions. Many of the buildings bearing his name are not his projects, but merely licensees to the Trump brand. Were he actually the billionaire he pretends to be, why would he host a cheesy game show on television? What other billionaires waste their valuable time on reality shows rubbing elbows with Gary Busey and Meat Loaf?

The obvious scam that Trump is running is second only to the hilarious attempt by Glenn Beck to operate his own Beck University, an affiliate of his premium web site operation. Students at Beck’s re-education facility learn how to fear impending tyranny and to stock up on bullets and gold coins. At least at Trump U. you get souvenir photos and maybe an old Trump paperback suitable for kindling.

Fox News And Donald Trump Use Snowden Story To Revive Birther Claims

No one is surprised anymore when Fox News brazenly brandishes their rightist leanings or promotes Republican candidates and causes. Anyone who is paying attention recognizes that Fox is the PR arm of the GOP. But having established that fact, Fox is now swinging for the fences and attempting to take the mantle of fringe fictionalists from the likes of Glenn Beck and Alex Jones.

The media is clearly obsessed with this new melodrama revolving around Edward Snowden and the international chase scene that has reporters racking up frequent flier miles and dreams of sky-high ratings. They would like nothing better than a helicopter hovering over a white Bronco as it tracks Snowden to some exotic tropical sanctuary. Every media whore in the business is weighing in.

Sarah Palin

So it goes without saying that this morning on Fox & Friends, the kiddies on the curvy couch hosted national joke and Hair Club for Dicks spokesman, Donald Trump, to discuss the Snowden affair. Trump wasted no time in sensationalizing the matter with his typically shallow analysis by calling for Snowden (who has been convicted of nothing) to be executed and blaming Obama for everything. But Trump’s outraged is not reserved for Snowden alone. When he was asked what he thought about the newspapers that published Snowden’s documents, Trump said that it was “disgraceful.” So he is not only opposed to whistleblowers, he also opposes journalists. He even managed to inject a swipe at Climate Change when he mentioned some nonsense about magazine covers in the 1920’s reporting global cooling.

However, the focus was squarely on Snowden as Trump implied that America is weak and in danger of imminent extinction. Although, in the minds of these extremist right-wingers, America is always mortally threatened by whatever their issue du jour might be, whether it’s health care, immigration, or totalitarian bicycles (seriously). But the wheels really came off the interview when Trump segued from Snowden’s flight to his favorite subject, the President’s birth certificate.

Trump: You know the only thing we don’t seem to get are the records from the President. Isn’t that interesting?
Brian Kilmeade: Yeah, no one leaks that.
Steve Doocy: Yeah, where are those?

Yeah! How come that Kenyan socialist Muslim doesn’t release his records – again? Why is continuing to deceive the American people about his foreign nativity and his phony academic resume? And when will he come clean about his real father being former domestic terrorist Bill Ayers? And what his Marxist upbringing, his gay husband, and his alien reptilian body that lies beneath that human costume he wears?

America wants to know. And thank God for Fox News – the only media outlet courageous enough to ask these questions. As for Snowden, if he really wants to gain some credibility with the Free Speech crowd, he should show up in Red Square wearing a Free Pussy Riot t-shirt while he’s in Russia.

Snowden - Pussy Riot