Cold Dead Hands: Gun Nuts Demand 2nd Amendment Rights For Zombies

Note: This is not a joke. Fox News is reporting that police in Buffalo, New York are collecting guns from the estates of deceased firearms registrants. And the ammosexual radicals are furious. The Fox story begins by stating that…

“A plan by police in Buffalo, N.Y., to begin confiscating the firearms of legal gun owners within days of their deaths is drawing fire from Second Amendment advocates.”

Zombie Charlton Heston

It seems like it should be unnecessary to point out that dead people cannot be “legal gun owners.” But that’s how Fox frames the issue. Even Charlton Heston conceded that his guns could be taken after he had died. The article goes on to quote Tom King, a gun rights group representative, claiming that the heirs are not told that, under the law, they can sell the weapons or apply to have them re-registered. However, there is no confirmation of that claim. In all likelihood the heirs must be told of their legal options and probably are.

King also asserts that the law is the latest example of authorities targeting law-abiding gun owners. Once again, dead people are not law-abiding gun owners, so the law cannot be targeting them. And the heirs, absent a registration in their name, are not in compliance with the law.

The Buffalo Police Department held a press conference to explain that the policy is intended to keep firearms out of the wrong hands. When a registered owner dies, the weapon often is not safely secured by surviving family members, if they even know that it exists. It is also not traceable in the event it is stolen or used in a crime.

A pro-gun website was quoted in the article as saying that this is “the camel’s nose under the tent to get at every firearm they can.” That is a typically paranoid response by gun nuts who seem to think that dead gun owners are a significant constituency of Americans whose constitutional rights must be protected. Let’s call them 2nd Amendment Zombies.

Naturally, the right-wing media circus has come to the defense of this newly christened special interest group of Departed-Americans who are being discriminated against. The story is spreading fast to outlets like the Tea Party News Network, conspiracy king Alex Jones’ Infowars, and Glenn Beck’s TheBlaze.

This law is just common sense. It is no different than title rights to cars or houses or other similar property that cannot remain in the name of the deceased. Eventually all gun owners will die and, without enforcement of this statute, every gun would become unlicensed and untraceable. The fact that gun nuts are getting worked up over this demonstrates the extremism of their views. They don’t bother to spell out their alternative, which is apparently to allow the registrations to lapse and let thousands of guns go unaccounted for.

Therein lies the true agenda of the NRA-theists. They are already suggesting that, due to this law, 2nd Amendment “patriots” should decline to register their guns so that the feds won’t know about them when they die. Their worship of guns is so fanatical that it extends to the afterlife, and they will oppose any registration policy that interferes with the free distribution of guns to anyone who wants them, including criminals, the mentally ill, and terrorists (and, yes, the NRA has opposed legislation prohibiting gun purchases by those on the terrorist watch list).

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What’s next for these lunatics? If guns can remain registered to corpses, then why not allow new weapons purchases to be registered in the name of a recent migrant to the hereafter or a favorite departed uncle? Why not just register all your guns Jesus? Maybe I shouldn’t give them any ideas.

Or as Dennis Hopper says in Land of the Dead: “Zombies, man…They creep me out.”

More Americans Died From Guns TODAY Than Ebola Ever

Is it time to talk about the epidemic of guns yet?

With shootings in a Washington state high school and in Sacramento, California, the fatalities caused just by these events that the media chooses to sensationalize exceeds all of the fatalities in the U.S. from Ebola since that story began. And that’s not even counting the shootings that occur every day in communities across the country.

Guns vs. Ebola

Nevertheless, our politicians and pundits continue to be obsessed with manufactured threats that have a more theatrical appeal, but are in reality a far smaller risk. The likelihood of any American being killed by Ebola or ISIL remains remote, but guns are killing innocent people everyday. The numbers are staggering. Over 30,000 Americans die by gunfire each year, and today’s news reminds us that way too many of the victims are children.

Our representatives have to stop being cowed by the NRA whose sole mission is to lobby on behalf of gun manufacturers. The influence exercised by the NRA far outweighs their actual clout with the public at large. But they continue to hold our legislators hostage. They even have a role in preventing a comprehensive response to Ebola. It is the NRA that coerced members of Congress into blocking the confirmation of President Obama’s nominee for Surgeon General. Now that we need someone in that post, the obstruction continues to prevent it.

With the upcoming midterm elections there is an opportunity to reduce the NRA’s influence in Congress by voting out Republicans in the Senate. The American people need to recognize the importance of this election and resolve to participate and persuade others to do the same. Failing this we can expect the holocaust of gun victims to continue and spread long after the Ebola threat has been forgotten.

Sharia Law vs. The NRA: The Politics Of Beheading And Guns

The news of a grisly murder in Oklahoma has once again brought out the panic peddlers who are always watching out for any gruesome event that they can exploit to advance their nightmare scenarios. While there is still a deficit of actual facts, knee-jerk Islamophobes leap forward to cast aspersions on people whom they regard as universally barbaric. Therefore, any chance to defame a Muslim is quickly pounced on and embellished in the most hostile manner. However, according to the Washington Post, all that is actually known about the murder at this time is that…

“A man who had just been fired by an Oklahoma City-area food processing plant allegedly severed the head of one of his former co-workers and attacked another before being shot by the company’s chief operating officer, according to police. […]

But the FBI, which is assisting in the investigation, has so far found no links to terrorism, the officials said. There was also no indication that Nolen was copying the beheadings of journalists in Syria by the Islamic State, the officials said, adding that they are treating this as an incident of workplace violence.”

The fact that the investigation is in the early stages has not prevented the Fear Merchants from going totally overboard with their hysteria. Undoubtedly Sen. Lindsey Graham, who warned that ISIL is on their way to America to “kill us all,” is probably thinking, “One down, 359,999,999 to go.” And the folks at Fox News are doing their part by boldly declaring in all caps that “SHARIA LAW IS COMING!!!”

Fox Nation

Fox posted their warning on their community website, Fox Nation (See the acclaimed ebook Fox Nation vs. Reality to learn more). The alarmist story was sourced to the uber-rightist blog, The Daily Caller, which is run by Fox host Tucker Carlson. The exclamation about the coming of Sharia law was taken from the Facebook page of Alton Nolen, the suspect in the Oklahoma crime, but Fox doesn’t disclose that in their headline or their article. They leave it to appear that there is just some sort of impending doom that is approaching that will foretell the end of civilization as we know it.

The Daily Caller’s article was written by Patrick Howley, a disreputable hack who has confessed to unethical and unlawful tactics to smear his ideological foes. Howley includes ridiculous and irrelevant observations such as the fact that Nolen had a tattoo that read “as-salaamu ataikum,” a Muslim greeting meaning “peace be upon you.” Nolen also had a tattoo of Jesus and a pair of Christian praying hands. So what does that say about Christianity?

Of course, it is utterly absurd to imply that a murder, even if it is determined to be related to terrorism, suggests that Sharia law is about to be implemented in America. What happened in Oklahoma was a crime and will be treated as such. It will never be tolerated as lawful in this country under some warped interpretation of Islam. So even if there are additional crimes linked to terrorists, Sharia law is most definitely not coming to America.

If Americans are determined to be afraid of something, they may want to put this recent crime into perspective. In 2014 so far, there has been one beheading in the United States. Compare that to the more than 8,000 deaths by guns this year. [Estimate based on data from 2012]

Guns vs. Beheadings

That’s more than double the fatalities of 9/11. Which makes it all the more ludicrous that right-wingers are now clamoring for unwieldy and unwarranted measures to address their fantastical notions about domestic terrorism. They propose strengthening border security, spying on mosques, prohibiting immigration from Muslim countries, and even building concentration camps.

However, you will not hear any similar commitment to eradicating the true epidemic of deaths and injuries by guns. To the contrary, conservatives are pushing for more guns to be carried and for fewer restrictions on firearms. They are against regulations to keep guns out of the hands of felons or spousal abusers. They fight efforts to prohibit cop-killer bullets. They oppose smart-gun technology that would prevent unauthorized persons from using a firearm. They are even against laws that prohibit people on the terrorist watch list from purchasing guns.

Nevertheless, a single beheading, as horrific as it is, whips wingnuts into a frenzy, while 8,000 deaths, many of them children, doesn’t move them to lift a finger. This leads to a fundamental question that needs to be asked by the American people and the media: Who represents a bigger threat to the country, ISIL or the NRA?

Fox Nation vs. Reality: Gun Nuts Fight For The Rights Of Nuts To Own Guns

The debate over regulating firearms that has erupted following a series of horrific mass shootings has been mired in partisan arguments for and against measures such as universal background checks, bans on assault weapons, and limits on high capacity magazines (although the public at large favors all of these by significant majorities). But one frequently discussed solution has always seemed to attract bipartisan support: Mental health checks.

That is until it was actually proposed by Democratic members of Congress (Rep. Lois Capps and Senators Barbara Boxer and Diane Feinstein) in the “Pause for Safety Act.” This legislation has three primary functions, as described by Capps…

“Through establishing a new grant program, the bill would help ensure that family members can go to a court to seek a ‘gun violence prevention order’ to temporarily stop someone who poses a threat to themselves or others from purchasing or possessing a gun. The bill will also ensure that a court can issue a ‘gun violence prevention warrant,’ allowing law enforcement to step in if the court determines the individual poses a threat to themselves or others. Finally, the bill ensures that law enforcement can make full use of all existing state and local gun databases when investigating a warning or request from a family member.”

This bill is a creative attempt to empower family members, the people who are in the best position to know whether someone is a danger to themselves or others, to take action to prevent a tragedy. It also protects the rights of the subjects by affording them a fair court hearing to respond to the allegations raised. In the recent shootings in Isla Vista, the parents of the shooter were aware of his disturbing state of mind and reported it to the local sheriff. But neither of them had the authority to go farther than a brief conversation with the soon-to-be murderer. This bill addresses that legal flaw in a rational way.

Fox Nation

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Unfortunately, the gun fetishists at the NRA, and their PR division Fox News, are already lining up to oppose the bill. Fox News posted an article on their lie-riddled Fox Nation website sourced to the ultra-rightist Breitbart News with the panicky headline “Dems Introduce Firearm Confiscation Legislation.” The obvious intent of their wording is to incite the NRA-Theists into a mouth-foaming tizzy at the notion that government stormtroopers will be coming for their guns. Needless to say, that is an outright lie that is easily debunked by the language in the bill.

The truth is that only persons who are identified as dangerous by family members (or other close associates), and who are affirmed to be so by a court, would be subject to any sanctions on purchases or ownership. Which is precisely what the gun nut crowd has been clamoring for. When any other form of regulation is proposed, they viscerally object and claim that the only thing that’s relevant is the emotional stability of the person seeking to obtain firearms. But now that a bill has been proposed that addresses exactly that, they are trying to slither out of supporting it. In effect, they are arguing on behalf of mentally unstable people to acquire, maintain, and ultimately use guns.

This is pretty good evidence that they have no intention of supporting any regulations on guns for any reason. They are so enamored of their weaponry that they will willingly accept tens of thousands of unnecessary deaths every year in order to maintain access to any weapon for anyone at any time.

Consequently, it is clear that they are utterly disingenuous when they speak of compromise or bipartisanship in the effort to find solutions. It is now justified and necessary to ignore them and go directly to the people and our representatives and insist on concrete action. The American people want something done, and compassion for the past (and future) victims demands it. We no longer need to be concerned about what the gun fetishists say because we know they don’t mean it and won’t help. So now the only question is, will our representatives in Congress help?

Craven, Irresponsible Politicians And The NRA

So we have another tragedy, another crowded morgue, and another group of inductees into the sorrowful assembly of grieving families. The shootings in Isla Vista, California, have forever changed the lives of the victims and their loved ones in ways only they can comprehend. However, there is nothing unique about the profusion of these horrendous events that are occurring with ever greater frequency. And the father of one of the victims was crystal clear about who is to blame for the devastating rampage. [Video below]

Richard Martinez, the father of 20-year-old UCSB shooting victim Christopher Martinez, gave a heartbreaking statement about his family’s loss, but he included a plea to all who were listening to “Stop this madness!” He plainly felt empathy for the victims of similar attacks in the past and those who are destined to become victims in the future. And he let it be known where the responsibility lies.

“Why did Chris die? Chris died because of craven, irresponsible politicians and the NRA. They talk about gun rights. What about Chris’s right to live?”

To be sure, the NRA is craven and irresponsible. They are currently lobbying to block funds for research by the Centers for Disease Control to better understand the public health crisis of mass shootings. They oppose the sale of “smart” guns that prevent unauthorized persons from using stolen firearms. They fought for the availability of “cop-killer” bullets that have no sporting or self-defense purpose. They advocate radical positions that even their members repudiate. Their agenda is diametrically opposed to that of the American people according to a poll by (gasp) Fox News.

Fox News Poll

These facts demonstrate how out of touch the NRA-theists are with the public at large. Yet, in some sense, the NRA is not really the problem. They are just doing what their benefactors pay them to do. And make no mistake, their benefactors are not the nation’s gun owners. The bulk of the NRA’s support comes from the firearms industry. Gun manufacturers and retailers are bankrolling the NRA to be their lobbyists in Washington. So who can blame the NRA for shilling for their financiers?

On the other hand, politicians are supposed to be representing the voters. If there is craven and irresponsible behavior going on, it is on the part of the congressmen and senators who do the bidding of the NRA. That’s a choice they make to betray their constituents in favor of the gun lobby. No one is, as they say, putting a gun to their head. It is long past time for our so-called representatives in Congress to do their damn jobs. And the media needs to inform their audience as to the relationship between the NRA and the gun industry, as well as the relationship between politicians and the NRA.

Where’s The NRA? GOP Rep Wants To Take Guns Away – From Law Enforcement

The National Rifle Association has a long record of defending the rights of every American to own firearms of any type and to carry them everywhere. It’s an agenda that enriches the NRA’s financial backers in the weapons trade, but endangers millions of citizens.

Now there is a new effort to restrict access to guns that would ordinarily get the NRA riled up in opposition. It follows the recent standoff at the Cliven Bundy ranch in Nevada where the Bureau of Land Management sought to hold Bundy accountable for violating the law and refusing to pay customary grazing fees for his cattle. In response to the BLM’s efforts to enforce the law, Bundy issued threats, saying that he had guns and was willing to use them. He was backed up by heavily armed militia members who stormed in to confront the BLM.

This is the backdrop for a legislative proposal by Utah Republican Chris Stewart who has analyzed the situation and concluded that there were too many guns in the mix and that steps must be taken by the federal government to disarm — the law enforcement officers.

Disarm the Cops

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That’s right, unaccountable, and likely unstable, shady characters, who dashed across the country to defend a racist criminal, must be permitted unrestricted access to guns and munitions, even when they threaten to use them against their own government. But it’s the government agents who need to be relieved of their firearms. That’s the lesson that Stewart learned from the Bundy ranch episode.

This is where the NRA would usually step in and declare that anyone who wants to take away guns will have to “pry them from my cold, dead hands.” However, it seems that that sentiment only applies to lawless posses and murderers who were standing their ground. When it comes to the first responders who uphold the law and keep America safe, at great personal risk, the NRA has no principles or sympathy.

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It is not surprising to find this sort of hypocrisy by the NRA-theists who are opposed to even the most common sense reforms that the American people favor by large majorities. But it is surprising to find that a sitting Republican representative can observe the disturbing events at the Bundy ranch and come away believing that it’s our law enforcement officers who should be disarmed.

SlayStation: Fox News Pushes Regulation Of Video Games – Not Guns

Fox News has been a reliable advocate on behalf of the National Rifle Association and its mission to insure that even the most lethal types of guns are readily available to just about anyone. They even opposed legislation that would prohibit people on the terrorist no-fly list from buying firearms. Let’s face it, they love them some guns, and any attempt to interfere with their fixation is sacrilege.

Gun Nutz
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Today Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the newest member of the Fox & Friends crew, proposed what she regards as an alternative solution to the tragic mass murders that have plagued the nation (video below). Her suggestion had nothing to do with background checks, or limiting access to dangerous individuals, or barring military-style weapons and magazines that hold dozens of bullets. She and her curvy-couch potatoes think that video games, and the people who play them, are the crux of the problem.

Hasselbeck: “What about frequency testing? How often has this game been played? I mean, I’m not one to say get in there and monitor everything, but if this indeed is a strong link to mass killings, then why aren’t we looking at frequency of purchases per person, and also how often they’re playing. Maybe they time out after a certain hour on this.”

So according to Hasselbeck and her pals, the government must never engage in responsible registration of firearms, or keep databases to alert authorities when someone has amassed a dangerous stockpile of munitions, or check to see if a prospective buyer is guilty of a violent felony or has a record of mental health problems. However, the government ought to keep track of video game purchases, as well as the amount of time individuals spend playing the games. She is actually proposing databases of game buyers and some sort of control mechanism on every game that measures the time it is used. Get ready for the nanny state to shut down your XBox after an hour or two in order to insure that you don’t murder a few dozen people. What’s next? Access to books, web sites, felafels? And none of that seems to intrude on their right-wing aversion to Big Government.

The Fox panel also displayed a graphic showing some of the perpetrators of mass shootings and alleged that they were all video game aficionados. Wow – what a startling revelation that young men in America were found to be fond of electronic gaming. Who knew? What they did not mention is that all of the same people were also obsessed with the guns that they actually used to, you know, actually kill actual people. But Guns couldn’t be part of the problem, could they?

Gunarchy: How The NRA-Theists Have Descended Into Madness

Ever since the gruesome killings in Newtown, CT, there has been a rancorous debate over the 2nd Amendment and the role of firearms in our society. Last week was the six month anniversary of Newtown and most Americans have come to terms with a common sense approach that would subject prospective gun buyers to a simple and quick background check in order to assure that they are not violent felons or mentally unstable. Unfortunately, this rational initiative has been supplanted in the news cycle by a bevy of trumped-up scandals that don’t have nearly the real-world impact on the lives of average Americans.

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Gunarchy

The UN recently released for signatures an arms treaty that would curb access to weapons by terrorists and rogue nations, but the advocates of unfettered access to firearms are already circling the wagons to oppose it. They have abandoned all respect for reason and empathy. The magnitude of their fixation on the broadest possible interpretation of gun rights has exceeded all boundaries of rational thought. They promote a near-total absence of laws regulating gun ownership that amounts to what could be called gunarchy (gun+anarchy). To say that some of their arguments border on lunacy would not be an overstatement. The following examples reveal just how devoted the NRA congregation is to their mission.

The UN Arms Trade And National Sovereignty Abolition Treaty

The United Nations recently approved an international treaty aimed at prohibiting the free-flow of military-grade weapons between oppressive dictatorships and terrorist organizations. This treaty was supported by more than 170 member-states with only Syria, Iran, and North Korea dissenting. Nevertheless, the gunarchists in congress decided to align themselves with that elite trio of naysayers and blocked ratification in the senate. The reason given was that this treaty had the potential to infringe on the sovereignty of the United States, despite the fact that such an infringement was explicitly prohibited in the treaty. So while the UN attempts to make the world safer, right-wingers in the U.S. are serving the interests of defense contractors (even those in China), who favor unencumbered free trade.

Prevent School Shootings By Putting More Guns In Schools

NRA's AmericaThe first response from the NRA to the tragedy at Sandy Hook was to propose the placement of armed guards at every school in America. The folly of this suggestion is all too apparent. The proliferation of guns will never be the solution to the problems they produce. It would merely turn every campus into a potential war zone. The gunarchists never explain how armed guards would prevent a mad man like Adam Lanza, who would still have had greater firepower than a school guard. Plus, he would have had the advantage of surprise and would likely have made his first victims the guard and any nearby teachers. This “solution” also fails to address the rest of our allegedly imperiled communities. There are also children at the beach, in shopping malls, at church, in restaurants, and parks, and playgrounds, and libraries. Would they propose to have armed security at every Chuck E. Cheese and Disney movie? Would they advocate that we have innumerable George Zimmermans patrolling our neighborhoods and slaughtering the innocent?

The NRA-Theists On Buying America

Earlier this year, NRA Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre, publicly rebuked New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg for spending heavily to promote his campaign for gun safety legislation. Bloomberg’s Mayors Against Illegal Guns was reported to have raised $12 million for advocacy and advertising. LaPierre pounced on that disclosure accusing Bloomberg of trying to “impose his will on the American public,” and insisting that “He can’t buy America.” What LaPierre neglected to mention was that his own campaign had just spent more than twice that amount leading up to the November elections last year. So if Bloomberg is trying to buy America then the NRA is brazenly outbidding them. At least Bloomberg’s campaign is sync with what the American people already believe by huge majorities.

Let’s Disarm The First Responders

As gun safety activists started to make strides in state legislatures, the infuriated gunarchists struck back by taking their vengeance out on state and local police. Weapons retailers vowed to refrain from selling their wares to law enforcement agencies in states that strengthened their safety regulations. Clearly this was not very well thought out because the effect of this reverse boycott, in the unlikely event that it was successful, would leave police unarmed as they endeavored to protect the public from evildoers. That’s the sort of radical response that harms people who have nothing whatsoever to do with the issue under protest. Yet conservative media from Fox News to Glenn Beck’s The Blaze to Breitbart News, all bragged about how this was snowballing into a movement.

Comparing Gun Rights To Civil Rights

Ted NugentNRA board member, and washed up rock burnout, Ted Nugent, has never been at a loss for utterly deranged and offensive words. He has engaged in violent rhetoric suggesting his desire to shoot President Obama, and California’s senators Feinstein and Boxer. And were he more reliable, he would currently be either dead or in jail today according to his own promise. But if it’s possible for him to cross a line that he has not already thoroughly erased, he did so when he placed himself in the same heroic company as Rosa Parks saying “There will come a time when the gun owners of America will be the Rosa Parks and we will sit down on the front seat of the bus.” Never mind the obvious absurdity of juxtaposing the non-violent civil rights struggle for equality with the desire to hoard munitions. Nugent and his ilk even suggested that things would have been much better had civil rights activists been armed to the teeth. Of course that would have violated the principles of non-violent civil disobedience practiced by Martin Luther King. It would also have contributed to a blood bath in the streets if protesters were actually stupid enough to do what Nugent proposes.

The Heartbreak of Hoplophobia

Not satisfied with merely rebutting the arguments of gun safety advocates, the gunarchists have invented a psychological disorder that they can use to dismiss the heart-tugging appeals of real people who were victims of gun violence. Hoplophobia, which they define as a morbid fear of guns, is not recognized by any mental health authority, but it is now being used to assert that anyone who has undergone a traumatic experience associated with guns is psychologically impaired and unfit to participate in a policy debate. There is only one purpose for this made-up malady, and that is to try to get effective spokespeople like Gabrielle Giffords, Jim Brady, the Sandy Hook parents, etc., to shut up.

The advocates for unrestrained proliferation of weaponry of all kinds have simply stopped trying to make coherent arguments. They are pursuing an absolutist course wherein any opposition is tantamount to tyranny and justifies armed rebellion to resist. These are the immutable positions of the gunarchists who represent the arms manufacturers, but not the American people. Polls have repeatedly confirmed that even NRA members do not support the positions of the NRA leaders. And eventually our representatives in congress will have to recognize that their best interests are served by serving the people and not the lobbyists.

Guns vs. Shoes

How Screwball Conspiracy Theories Can Rescue America’s Economy

For some time now there has been a delusional right-wing fear that President Obama and his socialist henchmen were plotting to confiscate every firearm in the nation and force the patriopathic gun-lovers of America into servitude. These NRA-theists are the weapons version of Birthers and Truthers, and since they believe that the government intends to seize their armories, I am calling them “Seizers.”

Setting aside the fact that there has been no effort to prevent any law-abiding citizen from exercising their right to keep and bear arms, the psychotic fervor that is present in these fanatics has been so emphatic that it has overflowed the banks of wingnuttery and flooded the media and even congress. One of the latest and looniest theories is that the U.S. Department of Homeland Security has been buying up bullets as part of a scheme to deplete the market so as to deprive citizens from having access to ammunition. That’s actually a softening of their prior theory wherein they thought that the DHS was preparing for warfare against a rebellious population.

The DHS has explained repeatedly that they are not buying any more bullets than prior administrations and, in fact, their purchases have declined (from 148.3 million in fiscal 2010 to 103.2 million rounds in 2012). But that hasn’t stopped the Seizers from frantically squealing about the imaginary conspiracy. What really makes this notion epically inane is that in a free market the only thing panic buying would do is motivate the manufacturers to increase production to meet demand. And now Fox News has gotten around to reporting this simple economic reality. But not without editorializing it in a false and negative way:

Fox News

The article interviews an employee of - get this - Stockpile Defense by the name of - not kidding here - Steve Warholic (I wish I could make up stuff this good). This article goes to great lengths to advance the conspiracy theories of the Seizers before eventually getting around to reporting a bit of truth. They lead off with with some familiar Fox fear mongering:

“Massive government purchases, including a plan by the Department of Homeland Security to buy more than 1 billion rounds of ammunition, have further stoked fears – and suspicions.”

However, later in the article they get to what is truly at issue:

“Ammunition manufacturers are reporting record profits and sales, with increases that number in the double and sometimes triple digits. Olin, which owns Winchester, reported last week the company’s first quarter earnings climbed 190 percent over the same period last year.”

There you have it. This whole escapade by the administration was actually an effort to enrich the weapons industry. They were probably in cahoots with the NRA the whole time. Consider this: Since we know that the NRA is not a grassroots organization of citizens, but rather a lobbying group for arms manufacturers, then they have an interest in pumping up sales for guns and ammo. And the Obama administration has been struggling with weak job growth even as the economy has been heating up. So they would welcome anything that puts more people back to work. Therefore, news like like this would benefit both Obama and the NRA:

“Ammunition manufacturers are struggling to make enough and have hundreds of millions of dollars in backorders. They’ve added hundreds of employees and equipment and increased overtime, and, in some cases, are running factories around the clock.”

It’s a win-win. And accomplished courtesy of crackpots who are easily persuaded that their world is falling apart and they must stockpile munitions to protect them from their ravenous neighbors and the jackbooted thugs they used to revere as first-responders.

This sort of economic stimulus could be replicated with any number of other conspiracy theories. Reaching back to some golden oldies, why not reprise the Birther craze, but this time add a profit component that would convince people that they need to get their own documents in order. That would create a demand for paper to print new birth certificates and spur hiring at Kinkos and other quick copy emporiums. Or how about priming the climate change “hoax” in conjunction with oil companies to jump start the sales of gas guzzlers and petroleum products.

With the abundance of lunatic conspiracy theorists out there we could bring unemployment down to 4% in no time if we manage these nut cases efficiently.

[Update] Apparently unsatisfied with the response they got to this article, Fox republished the exact same piece five days later. They are really pushing to make something of this clunker.

NRA-Theism: Glenn Beck’s Jesus Was A Pistol-Packin’ Messiah

The keynote speaker for this year’s NRA convention in Houston was a real crowd pleaser with experience riling up weak-minded right-wing sheeple. Glenn Beck’s sermon was delivered with his usual flair for phony emotion and theatrics. Here is the video if you have the stomach for it.

Glenn Beck

Beck set up his speech by fluffing the audience with praise for what awesome, charitable, courageous, sexy, patriots they all were. Of course, they lapped up this drooling approbation like thirsty puppies and rewarded Beck’s pandering with masturbatory applause. Beck gave the people exactly what they wanted and even titillated them with a teasing hint of a new project he would be announcing “in the coming days” with “major partners.”

The primary message of Beck’s program, however, was a more overarching appeal to the grand province of the Lord, with whom Beck frequently reminds folks that he is in close communication. Never mind that Beck’s interpretation of the divine is in stark contrast to that of most theologians. Take, for instance, how he inexplicably juxtaposes the mission of the NRA with that of the Prince of Peace by saying “Our right to keep and bear arms will not be infringed. We will follow the footsteps of Jesus Christ.” And while Beck never reveals where in scripture he learned that Jesus’ footsteps were fortified with firearms, he returned to the theme several times with pronouncements like this:

“Jesus was a man of God. He was a man of peace. He was a man of forgiveness. But make no mistake, Jesus Christ was also immoveable. The right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. And we will win by strapping on the full armor of God.”

Perhaps someone should remind Beck that Jesus ordered his apostles to lay down their weapons when confronted with Roman soldiers who came to arrest him in the Garden of Gethsemane. Or maybe they just dismiss it as that old “live by the sword, die by the sword” nonsense that their savior mumbled while under duress. Or, much like the 2nd Amendment, they just heed the half of the text that appeals to them and throw out irrelevancies like “die by the sword” and “well regulated militia.” And where he gets this business about the “armor of God” that he’s so anxious to strap on (an unfortunate phrasing), is anybody’s guess. The closest similar rhetoric would come from the Crusades. In the end, it belittles any notion of a divine power that certainly doesn’t need to rely on the defensive accoutrements of mortals.

Beck railed on interminably, punctuating his evangelical bluster with warnings of end-times alarmism. He insisted that we are in a “precarious situation” and that “the hour grows late.” He feverishly hammered into the heads of his assembled masses the apocalyptic angst that is the hallmark of his nightmarish doctrine.

“Our freedom is under attack. Our liberty, our way of life is being legislated out of existence. Our rights are being diminished by a ruling class of power of elites. They’re growing out of control. We have a government of radical revolutionaries actively working against the Constitution and the American people.”

And after that upchucking of fear and darkness, Beck was steadfast in his determination to fight the left’s tactics of fear and darkness – with love. Because, as we all know, love is best expressed behind the muzzle of an assault weapon that was acquired without any background check. Just ask the children of Sandy Hook, the students of Virginia Tech, the movie fans of Aurora, or even the church-goers of Oak Creek, Wisconsin.