Best.Bill.Ever: The Restrain Steve King From Legislating Act Of 2015

Just when you thought that Congress was an utterly dysfunctional institution that couldn’t get anything done, Colorado representative Jared Polis introduces legislation that may be the precursor of a truly productive era of government.

Restrain Steve King

The “Restrain Steve King From Legislating Act” is a brilliant legal maneuver that has the potential of making Congress a more rational and deliberative body. The bill’s language is simple and direct, as described by Polis on his House website:

“For too long, Steve King has overstepped his constitutionally nonexistent judicial authority,” Polis said. “Mr. King has perverted the Constitution to create rights to things such as discrimination, bullying, and disparate treatment. These efforts to enshrine these appalling values as constitutional rights were not envisioned by the voters, or by King’s colleagues who must currently try to restrain his attempts to single-handedly rewrite the nation’s founding principles on a bill-by-bill basis.

“I urge the House to bring this bill to the floor. If passed, my bill would preserve the right of millions of voters in all 50 states who would prefer that Steve King refrain from legislating a role for himself in their marriage decisions.”

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, the Polis bill is a satirical swipe at an actual bill by King that seeks to prohibit the judiciary from ruling on the constitutionality of marriage equality and/or bans of such. Polis used King’s own wording as the basis for his mock bill.

Polis is distinguishing himself as a Congressman with a biting sense of humor that he employs deftly on matters of very real importance. A few years ago, after the GOP introduced what they called the “Energy Tax Prevention Act of 2011,” a bill that would have the effect of prohibiting the Environmental Protection Agency from protecting the environment, Polis countered with an amendment to change the title of the bill to “The Dirty Air Act of 2011.” His colleague, Rep. Gerry Connelly, joined in with a similar amendment proposing a title change to “The Koch Brothers Appreciation Act.”

As if it weren’t funny enough to put forward a bill telling King to STFU, the blockheads at Breitbart News actually took it seriously. They posted an article with the epically over-the-top headline “Big Gay Hate Machine Attempts To Take Over Congress.” It appears they were just shooting for something patently offensive that has no relationship to the actual topic. BreitBrat Matthew Boyle accused Polis of “introduc[ing] a bill aimed at silencing King and stripping him of his power—something the Constitution wouldn’t allow him to do anyway.” Nowhere in the article does he recognize that Polis’ bill is satirical, however he does veer off into homophobic rants on other unrelated subjects.

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It’s too bad that Polis’ bill won’t ever get a vote. There’s a pretty good chance it would pass with the help of some of King’s fellow Republicans who are embarrassed by his puerile antics and Tea Party dementia. President Obama, however, would likely veto it for purely political reasons. After all, it helps him to have a maniacal voice in Congress who opposes the Violence Against Women Act, advocates violence against animals, voted against aid to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, compared immigrants to livestock as he proposed an electrified border fence, and praised disgraced, blacklisting senator Joe McCarthy as a great American hero. And there’s the problem with the bill Polis is offering. Allowing King to speak as much as he wants will assure many more Democratic victories in the future.

GOP Rep Says Laws Prohibiting Animal Cruelty Are ‘Exactly What Our Founding Fathers Wanted To Avoid’

In 2008 California passed the Prevention of Farm Animal Cruelty Act with a 63% majority. The new law established humane confinement standards for certain farm animals including egg-laying hens. A subsequent law extended the standards to all eggs imported from other states for sale in California. Now, this democratic expression of compassion is being attacked by Steve King, a Tea Party congressman from Iowa who thinks the Founding Fathers advocated liberty and animal torture for all.

Steve King
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King has proposed an amendment to a pending federal farm bill that would supersede California’s law and allow farmers in other states to sell eggs in California regardless of their inhumane practices. In justifying this amendment, King argues that states must not be allowed to set local standards and that the federal government should intervene and force states to comply with a national set of rules. Such decisions at the state level that protect animal welfare are, he says, “exactly what our founding fathers wanted to avoid.” That contradicts his position on just about every other law where he believes the feds should stay out of the state’s business. He is a fierce proponent of state’s rights, for instance, when it comes to abortion or gun registration.

King is a confirmed birther who has long held positions that advance animal cruelty. He is a vocal advocate of legalizing dog fights, which he believes are no different than professional boxing among humans who have the luxury of deciding for themselves whether to participate and are not murdered if they lose. King even voted against a law to ban children from dog fighting events. However, there is a certain perverse consistency in his philosophy. Just as he opposes legislation to address violence against animals, King also opposed the Violence Against Women Act. Apparently women, in King’s view, are no better than animals, a position he has also taken with regard to immigrants.

King’s opinion that the California statute violates the commerce clause of the Constitution is unfounded. But worse, it perpetuates a practice of cruelty that compassionate Americans have the right to reject. It also contradicts his core belief system with regard to what he would call “big government.” Thus, it demonstrates a measure of hypocrisy that exceeds all reason. And when he brings the Founding Fathers into it, he just sounds delusional.

[Update] Stephen Colbert added his voice to this issue last night with a brilliant segment that rips King apart.