This season’s steamiest melodrama has been unleashed on America. It’s a thrilling adventure into the politics and romance of Donald Trump’s White House. Just when you think you’ve heard it all, the President shows that he is always one step ahead of the fake news and the hordes of rampaging foes that hound him around every corner.
In the latest episode of this bawdy soap opera it is revealed that Trump diverted his attention from supposedly being president to make a phone call to an old friend. The TV matron of the Conner family, Roseanne Barr, was the recipient of this honor due to her surprisingly successful comeback on television. After the premiere of the rebooted “Roseanne” show drew 18.2 million viewers, the President knew that he had to drop everything and get Rosie on the line. Never mind that he won’t call the families of deceased soldiers or victims of natural disasters. Trump knows exactly what his priorities are. This historical event was recounted adoringly by the “Curvy Couch” potatoes of Fox and Friends who noted that Trump “likes his big ratings.”
YUGE RATINGS! President Trump personally called Roseanne Barr to congratulate her for 'Rosanne's' massive ratings. @foxnews @foxandfriends pic.twitter.com/xFKHSxssXt
— Ainsley Earhardt (@ainsleyearhardt) March 29, 2018
Indeed, Trump does like his ratings BIG. So when he heard about Roseanne, who is a fan of Trump both in her show and in real life, he stopped tweeting and dialed her up. After all, if there is anything Trump is known for, it’s congratulating people whose achievements soar beyond the ordinary. That’s why he called Vladimir Putin last week to congratulate him on his stupendous electoral victory. Never mind that the election was a sham in which his opponents were not permitted to run, or were otherwise threatened with imprisonment or death. And speaking of death, Trump also called Philippines President Duterte recently to congratulate him on his fantastic anti-drug program that features the assassination of suspects in the streets without having to bother with messy annoyances like, you know, trials.
As the story unfolds, the love interest is introduced to steam up the screen. The sultry Stormy Daniels was also on TV this week. “Why,” she wonders, “didn’t Donald call me? My ratings were even bigger than Roseanne’s with 22 million viewers.” Perhaps he was jealous since Stormy’s ratings on 60 Minutes were far higher than Trump’s when he was interviewed in the days following the election. He managed only about 16 million viewers.
Stay tuned as the controversies and scandals continue to heat up. In upcoming episodes sparks will fly between Kellyanne Conway and Hope Hicks. And Mike Pence will beg “Mother’s” forgiveness for dining with a female senator without permission. And the season will conclude on a fiery note with the confrontation between Trump and his arch-nemesis, special counsel Robert Mueller. This is truly must see TV.
How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.
Oh, if only this were a tv soap. But it’s not. Traitor trump and his little cast of characters are very real and capable of real evil. I exempt Stormy, she’s perhaps the only one who deserves better. Rosanne is a hack who deserves obvllion. Traitor trump deserves jail and poverty.
Thank you. A great read.