{"id":1547,"date":"2010-02-03T10:36:42","date_gmt":"2010-02-03T18:36:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1547"},"modified":"2010-02-03T10:36:42","modified_gmt":"2010-02-03T18:36:42","slug":"glenn-becks-american-revival-its-gonna-blow-your-mind","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1547","title":{"rendered":"Glenn Beck’s American Revival: It’s Gonna Blow Your Mind"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"PopeBack in November of 2009, Glenn Beck announced what he called his “100 Year Plan,”<\/a> a series of sermons in which he would indoctrinate his disciples with his unique misunderstanding of “ethics, history, finance, community organizing and everything American’s need to know about how the government works.”<\/em><\/p>\n

He said that his TV show would change as of the first of this year, but there’s been no evidence of that. In fact, he’s still replaying the same tired old out-of-context video clips of President Obama, Van Jones, etc., that he plastered his air with last year. But Yesterday he finally revealed that tickets for the first of his sermons will go on sale next week. The themes seem to have evolved from what Americans need to know about government to “Faith, Hope, and Charity.”<\/em> In other words, he is fully embracing the mantle of the television evangelist that he clearly aspires to be. He is even calling the event “The American Revival,”<\/em> and he promises that it will “blow your mind.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Beck’s transformation from Morning Zoo DJ<\/a> to Messianic Prophet<\/a> is nearly complete. He isn’t even bothering to mask his ambitions anymore. Are you ready for Brother Beck’s Traveling Salvation Show?<\/p>\n

“I want facts out there that you’ve never heard before, you’ve never learned. That you’ll sit in the audience and you’ll go ‘Oh my gosh. How did I not know that?’<\/em>“<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This should be easy for Beck. Since he makes up his own “facts”<\/em> anyway, his parishioners won’t have heard any of them before.<\/p>\n

“I’ve only done work on the first third so far and it will take your breath away…and make a case that is just dirt strong.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

One thing he is not lacking is ego. He is obviously convinced of his own inherent awesomeness and his ability to wow his audience, as if that takes much effort (keep a shiny object handy). And he has supreme confidence that he can make his case. But I’m not sure how strong dirt is.<\/p>\n

“It comes with a workbook…It’s basically a survival guide, an American survival guide…You’re gonna be an American evangelist.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Uh oh. This may be where he loses them. It may not be a good idea to start handing out homework assignments. Also, he’s mixing his metaphors. If you have an American survival guide it doesn’t make you an American evangelist. I makes you an American survivalist.<\/p>\n

The survivalist model makes much more sense based on Beck’s history of predicting doom for the country. He is fixated on Armageddon. He routinely beseeches his flock to adopt his 3G’s: God, gold, and guns. And his rhetoric is dripping with nightmare scenarios of ruin and woe:<\/p>\n

“If you’re here<\/a> every night I don’t need to convince you that there are people intentionally destroying our country. Both on the right and the left. The rain is coming. I think you feel it in your gut. It is time to build an Ark. It is time to prepare yourself for some tough times.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

“You’re gonna see<\/a> a black and white world, man, that is nothing but destruction and ugly. I don’t know why no one else will tell you the truth about these things. I don’t know and I don’t care.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

“I know what<\/a> our country is headed towards. I know the struggles that are ahead in my life and I know the struggles that are ahead in your life. It’s not going to be pretty.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The end times are upon us. Prepare yourself for a mighty fall. Then cower in your shelter and await the Rapture. But don’t forget to come out for the big Revival Show. Tickets go on sale next week. Be There!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Back in November of 2009, Glenn Beck announced what he called his “100 Year Plan,” a series of sermons in which he would indoctrinate his disciples with his unique misunderstanding of “ethics, history, finance, community organizing and everything American’s need to know about how the government works.” He said that his TV show would change […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,16],"tags":[33,44],"class_list":["post-1547","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-wankery","tag-fox-news","tag-glenn-beck"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-oX","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8913,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=8913","url_meta":{"origin":1547,"position":0},"title":"Glenn Beck’s Conspiracy Theory About Conspiracy Theories","author":"Mark NC","date":"1\/24\/2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometimes the dementia of right-wing fabulists is a richer vein of comedy than a Marx Brothers marathon. And speaking of Marx (Karl), his press agent, Glenn Beck, is contributing more than his fair share of unintentional hilarity to a nation thirsty for humor. On his silly and mostly ignored webcast,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4096,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4096","url_meta":{"origin":1547,"position":1},"title":"Glenn Beck Has A Bright Future – In Infomercials","author":"Mark NC","date":"3\/23\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"With his ratings in a steep downward spiral and advertisers rushing for the exits, the speculation surrounding Glenn Beck's future at Fox News is reaching a fever pitch. A few weeks ago David Carr of the New York Times reported that Fox insiders have begun \"contemplating life without Mr. Beck.\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3764,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=3764","url_meta":{"origin":1547,"position":2},"title":"The Unmitigated Hate of Fox News","author":"Mark NC","date":"1\/27\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"In response to a long and repulsive record of anti-Semitism and insensitive allusions to Nazis and the Holocaust on the part of Fox News, a coalition of 400 rabbis published an open letter calling on Rupert Murdoch to sanction Glenn Beck and demand that Roger Ailes apologize for their atrocious\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":30892,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=30892","url_meta":{"origin":1547,"position":3},"title":"Ted Cruz Polishes His Anti-Semite Credentials With Glenn Beck’s Help","author":"Mark NC","date":"2\/11\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"In the battle for political endorsements Donald Trump won the Teabagger gold by snagging Sarah Palin. But Ted Cruz, no slouch in the wingnut arena, managed to score a silver medal by winning the \"conspiritual\" (conspiracy+spiritual) heart of Glenn Beck. Fortunately for Cruz, Beck's endorsement came with a truckload of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Election"","block_context":{"text":"Election","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=152"},"img":{"alt_text":"Ted Cruz","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/cruz-beck-endorse.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/cruz-beck-endorse.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/cruz-beck-endorse.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1462","url_meta":{"origin":1547,"position":4},"title":"The Communists In Glenn Beck’s Pointy Little Head","author":"Mark NC","date":"11\/16\/2009","format":false,"excerpt":"This is going to be brief because Glenn Beck really speaks for himself. GLENN BECK, 11\/12\/09: I've been very consistent on all of this stuff. But they don't even look at any of that. In fact, the claims that I make about socialist Marxism, et cetera, et cetera, communist, I've\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5648,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=5648","url_meta":{"origin":1547,"position":5},"title":"Glenn Beck’s Mix ‘n Match Conspiracy Cabal","author":"Mark NC","date":"10\/24\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"This afternoon Glenn Beck posted a video promo for his GBTV presentation of who is behind the Occupy Wall Street movement. The promo featured Beck disclosing that he has been asked by presidential candidates, members of Congress, the business community, and faith leaders, for confidential briefings on his unique insights\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1547","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1547"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1547\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1547"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1547"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1547"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}