![\"Glenn](\"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/Pix\/Humor\/beck-graduate.jpg\")
Those lucky kids at Liberty University are in for a treat on graduation day this year. The conservative Christian institution has announced that Glenn Beck will be their commencement speaker. That should excite the student body.<\/p>\nThose lucky kids at Liberty University are in for a treat on graduation day this year. The conservative Christian institution has announced that Glenn Beck will be their commencement speaker. That should excite the student body.<\/p>\n
What an inspiration it will be to have an alcoholic, drug-abusing, rodeo clown, college dropout up on stage advising these students on how to succeed in life by making goofy faces on TV while lying about your political adversaries. They will surely benefit from his lectures mangling history and accusing liberals of being fascists and the President of being a racist. Not to mention that Beck has just announced that God has spoken to him and revealed His plan for America. How many commencement speakers have a direct line to Heaven?<\/p>\n
Beck’s message of unrelenting doom and destruction is a perfect fit for a school that includes Armageddon in its curriculum. Beck has prophesied that, unless we all accept his version of the truth, we’ll all be dead in five years. So why worry about not being able to find a job if the Rapture is right around the corner?<\/p>\n
Beck will be able to relate his experiences as a suicidal failure who found redemption as a morning zoo radio shock jock. What better example could Liberty provide to these young folks as they prepare to go out into a foreboding world? Perhaps Beck will bring along his blackboard and diagram the connections between the school’s founder, Jerry Falwell, and the feminists and gays that Falwell blamed for 9\/11. And he could talk about Falwell’s famous defense of segregation as “the Lord’s will.”<\/em><\/p>\n This will certainly be a day to remember for Liberty’s graduates. They should be grateful for their good fortune. Had they graduated in any of the previous four years they would have been stuck with adulterers like John McCain and Newt Gingrich, or Hollywood scoundrels like Chuck Norris, and Ben Stein. At least Beck will get them some media attention as the speech will likely be broadcast live as breaking news on the Fox News Channel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Those lucky kids at Liberty University are in for a treat on graduation day this year. The conservative Christian institution has announced that Glenn Beck will be their commencement speaker. That should excite the student body. What an inspiration it will be to have an alcoholic, drug-abusing, rodeo clown, college dropout up on stage advising […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,15],"tags":[33,44,99],"class_list":["post-1627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-humor","tag-fox-news","tag-glenn-beck","tag-jerry-falwell"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-qf","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1646,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1646","url_meta":{"origin":1627,"position":0},"title":"Glenn Beck To Liberty University Grads: Shoot To Kill","author":"Mark NC","date":"5\/15\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"A week ago President Barack Obama gave the commencement speech at Hampton College in Virginia, and unleashed a torrent of criticism from the rightist punditry. Most of it centered around his warning that students not let themselves be overcome by the information overload of the Internet Age. But most of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1849,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1849","url_meta":{"origin":1627,"position":1},"title":"Glenn Beck Announces Beck University","author":"Mark NC","date":"7\/2\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Now that Glenn Beck has an honorary degree from Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, he has proceeded to the next plateau of academia by opening his own institution of higher learning: Beck University. There will be no application process for aspiring students. All that's needed is a credit card. After all,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5440,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=5440","url_meta":{"origin":1627,"position":2},"title":"Levis Added To Glenn Beck’s Enemies List","author":"Mark NC","date":"9\/22\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Now they've done it. The folks at Levis have made a powerful enemy. Glenn Beck is appalled by the new commercial for Levis that features young people in situations wherein they appear to be challenging authority. Oh my heavens, fetch the smellin' salts. Glenn Beck has the vapors. All because\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1240,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1240","url_meta":{"origin":1627,"position":3},"title":"Glenn Beck Gives Guest The Vapors","author":"Mark NC","date":"4\/13\/2009","format":false,"excerpt":"On today's Glenn Beck show, a guest was stricken and, after warning Beck three times that he was about to pass out, he fell to the ground. The alert director made sure to take a wide camera shot so that the audience could see the poor man prostrate on the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1645,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1645","url_meta":{"origin":1627,"position":4},"title":"Glenn Beck Fears The Rise Of Obama Cannibalism Or Something","author":"Mark NC","date":"5\/15\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"In an attempt to deprive Jon Stewart the opportunity to mock Glenn Beck's paranoidal delusions, and to prevent Stephen Colbert from further exploiting Bill O'Reilly's egotistical sanctimony, Beck and O'Reilly came together to deliver their own satirical presentation of each others psychoses. And it's comedy gold. While discussing Miranda and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1647,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1647","url_meta":{"origin":1627,"position":5},"title":"Glenn Beck And The Gun Nuts At The NRA Conference","author":"Mark NC","date":"5\/16\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Glenn Beck has been pretty busy this weekend. After delivering the commencement speech at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University in Virginia, where he told the graduating class to \"shoot to kill,\" he jetted off to North Carolina to deliver the same message to the National Rifle Association. He began is address\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1627","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1627"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1627\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1627"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1627"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1627"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}