{"id":2936,"date":"2010-10-09T14:07:47","date_gmt":"2010-10-09T21:07:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=2936"},"modified":"2013-07-10T02:04:57","modified_gmt":"2013-07-10T09:04:57","slug":"the-metamorphosis-of-glenn-beck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=2936","title":{"rendered":"The Metamorphosis Of Glenn Beck"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Glenn Beck is being tested by God. He is undergoing a form of holy scrutiny to ascertain his devotion and commitment. A Baptism by fire. Why else would this humble servant of the Lord be subjected to the suffering and infirmity that he just announced<\/a> to his disciples?<\/p>\n

“I have been losing feeling in my hands and my feet.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hands and feet? Could this be the beginnings of the stigmata and the confirmation of his Messianic identity? Beck has also complained of problems affecting his vocal cords, the primary basis for his existence. And he has previously announced that his vision may be failing. He is literally coming apart at the seams. But fear not. He insists that this is not bad news:<\/p>\n

“Things are changing and there is no bad news here. Because what I am feeling in myself, and what is happening to my physical body, to some extent, and what is happening to me mentally, is not a depression, is not a death. It is a transformation. It is a transcendence. It is a reaching out of the slime and pulling yourself out. So it is not bad news. It is just a transition period.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Hallelujah. Beck hasn’t been arbitrarily struck with multiple maladies. He is simply transcending to a higher form. He is fundamentally transforming into a more powerful and omnipotent force. Should he succumb to these trials it will simply be a reassignment to the right hand of God. If he prevails and is cured, it will be just another miracle on the path to beatification.<\/p>\n

Of course there is the other possibility – that God is pissed<\/a> and is meting out his punishment. Deuteronomy 28:27-29 explains clearly what God will do to you if you fail to follow his laws:<\/p>\n

27:<\/strong> The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods<\/strong>, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.
\n28<\/strong>: The LORD shall smite thee with madness<\/strong>, and blindness<\/strong>, and astonishment of heart.
\n29<\/strong>: And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper<\/strong> in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled<\/strong> evermore, and no man shall save thee.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The emerods (or hemorrhoids) he has already had<\/a>, and it nearly killed him. The potential blindness he announced earlier this year. The madness is self evident. And even his prosperity has suffered in that nearly 300 advertisers have refused to permit their ads to be run during his program.<\/p>\n

If God isn’t smiting this sinner then S\/He sure has a twisted sense of humor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Glenn Beck is being tested by God. He is undergoing a form of holy scrutiny to ascertain his devotion and commitment. A Baptism by fire. Why else would this humble servant of the Lord be subjected to the suffering and infirmity that he just announced to his disciples? “I have been losing feeling in my […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,15],"tags":[44],"class_list":["post-2936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-humor","tag-glenn-beck"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-Lm","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1240,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1240","url_meta":{"origin":2936,"position":0},"title":"Glenn Beck Gives Guest The Vapors","author":"Mark NC","date":"4\/13\/2009","format":false,"excerpt":"On today's Glenn Beck show, a guest was stricken and, after warning Beck three times that he was about to pass out, he fell to the ground. The alert director made sure to take a wide camera shot so that the audience could see the poor man prostrate on the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":30700,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=30700","url_meta":{"origin":2936,"position":1},"title":"Dueling Endorsements Of Death: Glenn Beck vs. Sarah Palin","author":"Mark NC","date":"1\/21\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"One way of recognizing that the Republican Party has devolved into irrelevance is to consider the field of potential endorsers valued by the leading candidates. On that score, the most talked about people coming forward so far have been Sarah Palin (for Donald Trump) and Glenn Beck (for Ted Cruz).\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"Glenn Beck Sarah Palin","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/beck-palin-fight.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/beck-palin-fight.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/beck-palin-fight.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1627,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1627","url_meta":{"origin":2936,"position":2},"title":"Liberty University Taps Glenn Beck For Commencment Speech","author":"Mark NC","date":"4\/24\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Those lucky kids at Liberty University are in for a treat on graduation day this year. The conservative Christian institution has announced that Glenn Beck will be their commencement speaker. That should excite the student body. What an inspiration it will be to have an alcoholic, drug-abusing, rodeo clown, college\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2472,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=2472","url_meta":{"origin":2936,"position":3},"title":"Glenn Beck Drops Veterans From 8\/28 Rally","author":"Mark NC","date":"8\/19\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"In a notice posted today at Congress.org, Glenn Beck finally got the permit for his 8\/28 rally approved. It was also noted that he changed the purpose of the rally from a \"demonstration to honor veterans\" to simply a \"restoring honor rally.\" Why would Beck alter the purpose to something\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4957,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4957","url_meta":{"origin":2936,"position":4},"title":"A Fearful Glenn Beck Is Moving His Restoring Courage Rally. Really?","author":"Mark NC","date":"7\/19\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"OK - Don't laugh. Glenn Beck has announced that the location of his August 24 \"Restoring Courage\" rally is being moved because he is afraid that there might be violence. So before the event heralding Beck's celebration of courage even begins he succumbs to a fear of some unspecified threat.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1575,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1575","url_meta":{"origin":2936,"position":5},"title":"Van Jones ♥’s Glenn Beck","author":"Mark NC","date":"2\/28\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Van Jones received the President's Award on Friday from the NAACP Image Awards. In his acceptance speech he took the time to acknowledge a special someone in his life. http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/v\/qpizoS3HREY I can't say I approve. Glenn Beck has been a relentless foe of Van Jones. He hounded him from the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2936","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2936"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2936\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10098,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2936\/revisions\/10098"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}