{"id":3247,"date":"2010-11-20T14:06:59","date_gmt":"2010-11-20T22:06:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=3247"},"modified":"2010-11-21T12:13:04","modified_gmt":"2010-11-21T20:13:04","slug":"glenn-beck-goes-full-blown-contrailer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=3247","title":{"rendered":"Glenn Beck Goes Full Blown Contrailer"},"content":{"rendered":"

These are boom days for conspiracy theories. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one. And who do you think killed the cat? Hmm?<\/p>\n

We’ve seen the Birthers who demand to see President Obama’s birth certificate. We’ve seen the Truthers who allege that the U.S. government was in on 9\/11. We’ve seen the Tenthers who cite the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution as justification for declaring everything from health care to income taxes as unconstitutional.<\/p>\n

<\/center>
\n<\/p>\n

Now we have the debut of the Contrailers<\/a>. Let me have Contrailer Creator Glenn Beck explain it to you:<\/p>\n

Did you see the story today about the Chinese missiles and military? How many submarines they’re buying and how many missiles they have? And how they can destroy everything here in America with their missiles?<\/p>\n

Do you really believe that that was an airplane contrail off the coast of California? Do you really believe that? Really?<\/p>\n

That was a two stage missile. And don’t take that from Glenn Beck. Take that from Glenn Beck who knows an awful lot of people in the military.<\/p>\n

Who launched that missile? Do you thinks it’s the military? I told you when that happened I don’t know enough about missiles.<\/p>\n

Oh I do now. Oh I do now. And I talked to some military experts who know all about missiles.<\/p>\n

What they’re telling you on television is bullcrap.<\/p>\n

Really? That’s an airplane. Hmm. That’s an airplane. Shooting right out of the water. That’s an airplane. Why is it that it had the little…It had the little flame at the end?<\/p>\n

I mean I lived in Florida. I’ve seen space shuttles launch before.<\/p>\n

Come on. Two stage missile. That’s what that was.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Beck goes on to offer his theory for what the mysterious trails were:<\/p>\n

China launches a missile to let everyone in the world know, including the United States of America, and especially the president of the United States of America, know how impotent you are.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There you have it. China somehow managed to navigate a submarine into the Los Angeles harbor without anyone catching on. Then they fired off an ICBM into the Pacific. And they took that risk and expense in order to emasculate the President. Makes perfect sense. Except for this<\/a>.<\/p>\n

You do know that insanity runs in his family, don’t you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

These are boom days for conspiracy theories. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one. And who do you think killed the cat? Hmm? We’ve seen the Birthers who demand to see President Obama’s birth certificate. We’ve seen the Truthers who allege that the U.S. government was in on 9\/11. We’ve seen the Tenthers […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,15,16],"tags":[44],"class_list":["post-3247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-humor","category-wankery","tag-glenn-beck"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-Qn","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":7304,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=7304","url_meta":{"origin":3247,"position":0},"title":"Glenn Beck Reviews Black-Themed Obama Campaign Ad","author":"Mark NC","date":"6\/13\/2012","format":false,"excerpt":"If you were looking for an authoritative analysis of an Obama campaign advertisement targeting an African-American constituency, who better to consult than homeboy and O.G. (Original German), Glenn Beck? That's who Bill O'Reilly turned to last night on the O'Reilly Factor, and he got his money's worth. The segment included\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Election"","block_context":{"text":"Election","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=152"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1136,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1136","url_meta":{"origin":3247,"position":1},"title":"Glenn Beck – You Are That Person","author":"Mark NC","date":"11\/21\/2008","format":false,"excerpt":"If there is a more disingenuous hypocrite in American media, I swear, I can't think of who it might be. Glenn Beck, who is twiddling his thumbs until his new show premieres on Fox News, tells this story of a recent encounter he had with a truck driver at a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1499,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1499","url_meta":{"origin":3247,"position":2},"title":"Glenn Beck: 2009 Misinformer Of The Year","author":"Mark NC","date":"12\/21\/2009","format":false,"excerpt":"On the heels of the announcement that Sarah Palin had edged out Glenn Beck for \"Lie of the Year,\" Beck has bounced back to nab the Media Matters honor of 2009 Misinformer of the Year. This award caps a year of distinguished prevarication by an acknowledged master of the art.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3009,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=3009","url_meta":{"origin":3247,"position":3},"title":"Top 10 Reasons George Soros Should Refuse To Debate Glenn Beck","author":"Mark NC","date":"10\/20\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"In a challenge dripping with sarcasm and scorn, Glenn Beck pretended to invite George Soros onto his show for a one-on-one debate. Of course, it was just another of the phony clown shows Beck puts on to the delight of his fans who think his act is real. But just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":548,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=548","url_meta":{"origin":3247,"position":4},"title":"Will Bill O’Reilly Demand An Apology From Glenn Beck?","author":"Mark NC","date":"8\/6\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Last week, Bill O'Reilly, Fox's Father Coughlin, ranted riotously about the \"vile hate site\", DailyKos, because of what he deemed an offensive picture that he found there. I wonder if he's going to spend this week lambasting Glenn Beck for this obscene swipe at Helen Thomas. Keep in mind that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1462,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1462","url_meta":{"origin":3247,"position":5},"title":"The Communists In Glenn Beck’s Pointy Little Head","author":"Mark NC","date":"11\/16\/2009","format":false,"excerpt":"This is going to be brief because Glenn Beck really speaks for himself. GLENN BECK, 11\/12\/09: I've been very consistent on all of this stuff. But they don't even look at any of that. In fact, the claims that I make about socialist Marxism, et cetera, et cetera, communist, I've\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3247","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3247"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3247\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3253,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3247\/revisions\/3253"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3247"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3247"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3247"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}