{"id":38391,"date":"2018-07-05T16:21:56","date_gmt":"2018-07-05T23:21:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=38391"},"modified":"2018-07-05T16:24:18","modified_gmt":"2018-07-05T23:24:18","slug":"wanted-fox-news-posts-unintentionally-hilarious-ad-seeking-storyteller-for-fox-and-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=38391","title":{"rendered":"WANTED: Fox News Posts Unintentionally Hilarious Ad Seeking ‘Storyteller’ for Fox and Friends"},"content":{"rendered":"

It must be terribly difficult to recruit qualified people to compose the malarkey that gushes out of Fox and Friends every morning. The “Curvy Couch”<\/em> potatoes cannot be expected to come up with all of that ludicrous bullcrap on their own. It takes a team of dedicated liars and seasoned propagandists to create the abundance of seemingly effortless ignorance that is the hallmark of Fox News.<\/p>\n

\"Fox
\n<\/a><\/p>\n

Consequently, the current opening on their staff was advertised<\/a><\/strong> on the Indeed job recruiting website. The posting described the requirements for employment at “the # 1 National Cable Morning Show.”<\/em> Notice that they don’t say “Cable Morning<\/em> “News” Show.”<\/em> And for all of you aspiring Fox newsers, here is some of what you’ll need to know to be considered.<\/p>\n

First of all, the ad says that “You are a storyteller.”<\/em> Because telling stories – not reporting facts – is the paramount mission of Fox News. You must also “know the difference between an attention-grabbing headline and burying the lead.”<\/em> But apparently you don’t need to know the correct spelling of “lede,”<\/em> when referring to the most important part of an article.<\/p>\n

The job requires that you work the “graveyard”<\/em> shift, between midnight and 9:00am. But don’t get sleepy because you’ll be expected to “Research and craft stories in a way that resonates with our viewers.”<\/em> That’s an undisguised admission that catering to the preconceptions of the wingnut cultists who are glued to Fox News is more important than accuracy or truth. Nevertheless, the ad also lists as a requirement an “understanding of fair and balanced journalism.”<\/em> Presumably that’s so that the applicant can differentiate between fairness and balance (a slogan that Fox has stopped using<\/a><\/strong>) and what Fox News does. Which makes the the quality of “Thinking outside the box to tell a story”<\/em> more understandable, so long as “the box”<\/em> is where they hide the actual facts.<\/p>\n

Finally, the ad contains the typical boilerplate language assuring that Fox News is “an equal opportunity employer.”<\/em> That means no discrimination based on “race, color, religion, sex, national origin, gender identity, disability, protected veteran status, or any other characteristic protected by law.”<\/em> Discriminating against any of those groups, however, is still permissable in their reporting. The disclaimer also includes this protection: “We will consider for employment qualified applicants with criminal histories consistent with applicable law.”<\/em> That’s convenient for Fox News who already regularly features people with criminal pasts including Mark Fuhrman, Joe Arpaio, Oliver North, Bernard Kerik, Dinesh D’Souza, Gregg Jarrett, and surely some more I’ve forgotten.<\/p>\n

\n

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
\nFox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.<\/a>
\nAvailable now at Amazon.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

So get out those resumes. If you have a commitment to lying on behalf of a corrupt administration; if you are devoted to exalting Donald Trump no matter how repulsive or dishonest he is; if you’re comfortable with throwing away your reputation and prospects for future employment anywhere other than Fox or Breitbart News, then this is the job for you. And if you’re really lucky you might even get a shout-out from the President or a job at the White House.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It must be terribly difficult to recruit qualified people to compose the malarkey that gushes out of Fox and Friends every morning. The “Curvy Couch” potatoes cannot be expected to come up with all of that ludicrous bullcrap on their own. It takes a team of dedicated liars and seasoned propagandists to create the abundance […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36145,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,684],"tags":[554,879,33],"class_list":["post-38391","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-general","category-media-bias","tag-donald-trump","tag-fox-friends","tag-fox-news"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/FoxNews\/foxnews-lies.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-9Zd","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40927,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=40927","url_meta":{"origin":38391,"position":0},"title":"POLL: The Fox News Audience is a Fanatical, Irredeemably Warped Cult of Right-Wing Extremists","author":"Mark NC","date":"3\/21\/2019","format":false,"excerpt":"A few weeks ago the Democratic National Committee chair, Tom Perez, announced that there would be no Democratic primary debates hosted by Fox News. There was considerable debate over whether this was a constructive policy, even though Fox News itself virtually validated it by repeatedly demonstrating their abject hatred for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"Donald Trump, Fox News, Hate Again","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/FoxNews\/trump-foxnews-hate-again.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/FoxNews\/trump-foxnews-hate-again.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/FoxNews\/trump-foxnews-hate-again.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3669,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=3669","url_meta":{"origin":38391,"position":1},"title":"America Hates Fox News","author":"Mark NC","date":"1\/20\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A new survey from Public Policy Polling shows that Fox News is the least trusted news network in the nation. NetworkTrustDistrust PBS5030 NBC4141 CNN4043 CBS3643 ABC3543 FOX4246 This is the second annual poll on news network trust. Last year had Fox at a higher level overall, but the poll's internals\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":37102,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=37102","url_meta":{"origin":38391,"position":2},"title":"Fox Nation is Morphing into a Streaming Video Feeding Tube for the Fox News Cult’s Superfans","author":"Mark NC","date":"2\/21\/2018","format":false,"excerpt":"In its ongoing mission to brainwash weak minds, Fox News is taking a major step into the video streaming business. They have announced that their community website and right-wing news aggregator, Fox Nation will soon become a subscription service that Fox's glassy-eyed disciples can pay for without a cable account.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"Fox Nation vs. Reality","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/Pix\/Advs\/FNvR-book-Vol2-ast-550x296.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/Pix\/Advs\/FNvR-book-Vol2-ast-550x296.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/Pix\/Advs\/FNvR-book-Vol2-ast-550x296.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":56773,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=56773","url_meta":{"origin":38391,"position":3},"title":"Judge in Smartmatic Defamation Lawsuit Orders Fox News to Turn Over ‘Missing’ Documents","author":"Mark NC","date":"4\/26\/2023","format":false,"excerpt":"One week ago Fox News settled a $1.6 billion dollar defamation lawsuit with Dominion Voting Systems for 3\/4 of a billion dollars. 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Click here to Tweet this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"Fox News Sad","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/FoxNews\/foxnews-sad-emoji.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/FoxNews\/foxnews-sad-emoji.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/FoxNews\/foxnews-sad-emoji.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2981,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=2981","url_meta":{"origin":38391,"position":4},"title":"Fox Cancels The Future Of All Civilization","author":"Mark NC","date":"10\/17\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"In a demonstration of precisely why giant media conglomerates must be regulated and broken up, Fox has escalated a contract dispute into an obscene abuse of power. 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