{"id":39,"date":"2005-05-03T18:45:26","date_gmt":"2005-05-04T01:45:26","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=39"},"modified":"2005-07-17T12:38:49","modified_gmt":"2005-07-17T19:38:49","slug":"desperate-whitehousewives-starring-laura-leno-bush","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=39","title":{"rendered":"Desperate Whitehousewives Starring Laura “Leno” Bush"},"content":{"rendered":"

The humor-challenged media is tripping all over itself to to praise the First Lady’s appearance before the White House Correspondents’ Association. Apparently their funny bone twitches uncontrollably at the sight of Laura being able to read from a sheet of prepared jokes. The talk in the television press has ranged from, “Get this woman her own show.”<\/em> to, “Maybe she should run against Hilary.”<\/em><\/p>\n

Here’s some excerpts<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\nThe impotent husband bit:<\/strong>
\nI am a desperate housewife. I mean, if those women on that show think they’re desperate, they oughta be with George.<\/p>\n

The stupid husband bit:<\/strong>
\nI was the librarian who spent 12 hours a day in the library, yet somehow I met George.<\/p>\n

The mother-in-law gangster bit:<\/strong>
\nPeople think she’s a sweet, grandmotherly, Aunt Bea type. She’s actually more like, mmm, Don Corleone.<\/p>\n

And, of course, the old jerking off a horse bit:<\/strong>
\nI’m proud of George. He’s learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What’s worse, it was a male horse.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It seems that what is really making news here is that she can read while her husband cannot. I suppose it’s too much to ask that the people who brought us Monica Lewinsky, Chandra Levy, Michael Jackson, Terri Schiavo, the Old Pope, the New Pope, and Jennifer “Runaway Bride”<\/em> Wilbanks, would suddenly chose to avoid blowing things up beyond all sense of proportion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The humor-challenged media is tripping all over itself to to praise the First Lady’s appearance before the White House Correspondents’ Association. Apparently their funny bone twitches uncontrollably at the sight of Laura being able to read from a sheet of prepared jokes. The talk in the television press has ranged from, “Get this woman her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-graphix"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-D","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":43533,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=43533","url_meta":{"origin":39,"position":0},"title":"HUH? 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