{"id":4204,"date":"2011-04-09T00:46:45","date_gmt":"2011-04-09T07:46:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4204"},"modified":"2011-04-09T00:46:45","modified_gmt":"2011-04-09T07:46:45","slug":"handicapping-the-race-for-glenn-becks-successor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4204","title":{"rendered":"Handicapping The Race For Glenn Beck’s Successor"},"content":{"rendered":"

On April 6th Fox News and Glenn Beck announced that his program would be “transitioning”<\/em> off the air. Reminds me a little of when Charlie Sheen was transitioned off of Two and a Half Men. And so, as the chalk dust settles, it is time to look ahead.<\/p>\n

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On April 1st, just a few days prior to this announcement, I rather prophetically “revealed”<\/em> a list of candidates<\/a> that Fox News was considering to replace Beck. It included such conservative luminaries as Ann Coulter, Andrew Breitbart, and Ted Nugent. Now I would like to offer my own musings on how Fox could fill their 5:00pm slot.<\/p>\n

The Favorite:<\/strong> Judge Andrew Napolitano. He is currently the most frequent fill-in host for Beck and holds almost identical views. If anything, he leans even further off the ledge by openly asserting the 9\/11 Truther position that the World Trade Center attack was an inside job.<\/p>\n

The Gender Card:<\/strong> Laura Ingraham. She has the reliably wingnut views that are a prerequisite for Fox anchordom. More importantly, she fulfills Fox’s blonde quotient. She’s paid her dues filling in for Bill O’Reilly and would bring a sizable radio audience, just as her predecessor did.<\/p>\n

The Young Turk:<\/strong> Eric Bolling. He currently hosts a program on Fox’s floundering business network and may be due for a transfer to the mother ship. He has filled in for Beck and appears as a guest on several Fox shows. But this guy may want it too bad. His delivery is that of someone in a permanent state of shock. On second thought, he may have shot.<\/p>\n

The Lone Stranger:<\/strong> Juan Williams. Fox shelled out $2 million for Williams when he was booted out of NPR. By giving him his own show they might be able to justify that ridiculous outlay for an occasional commentator. Plus they would fill a dual demographic hole in their schedule by promoting an African-American liberal. However, that is also two strikes against any Fox News hopeful. Even though Williams is barely a liberal, the fact that he isn’t batshit insane might be enough to disqualify him alone. And since Fox’s audience is more than 98% white<\/a>, the race card isn’t worth much to them.<\/p>\n

The Dark Horse:<\/strong> G. Gordon Liddy. This former Watergate burglar would love to bring his radio shtick to television. He has a loyal following and would be able to retain all of Beck’s survivalist products advertisers. He would provide a consistent transition for the American Patriopaths who revere God, gold, and guns.<\/p>\n

Of course, there are plenty of other options for Fox. They could poach Rick Santelli from CNBC. He’s the guy who got the whole Tea Party parade marching. Or they could just stretch Bret Baier’s program for an extra hour. That would be cheap and it would refocus the network on news – something which with they have little experience.<\/p>\n

And then there’s my favorite contestant: Victoria Jackson. She has Tea Party cred and is guaranteed to never say anything that would go over the heads of the Fox viewers – or their kids.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

On April 6th Fox News and Glenn Beck announced that his program would be “transitioning” off the air. Reminds me a little of when Charlie Sheen was transitioned off of Two and a Half Men. And so, as the chalk dust settles, it is time to look ahead. On April 1st, just a few days […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[735,877,33,878,44,577,43,598],"class_list":["post-4204","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-andrew-napolitano","tag-eric-bolling","tag-fox-news","tag-g-gordon-liddy","tag-glenn-beck","tag-juan-williams","tag-laura-ingraham","tag-victoria-jackson"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-15O","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4146,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4146","url_meta":{"origin":4204,"position":0},"title":"LEAKED MEMO: Fox News Considers Glenn Beck’s Replacements","author":"Mark NC","date":"4\/1\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"[UPDATE 4\/6\/11:] Just a few days after this startling April 1st revelation was published, Glenn Beck and Fox News announced that Beck's program will end later this year. [BREAKING: April 1, 2011, New York, NY] In recent weeks there has been growing speculation as to the future of Glenn Beck\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4068,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4068","url_meta":{"origin":4204,"position":1},"title":"Why Does Fox News Keep Glenn Beck Around?","author":"Mark NC","date":"3\/16\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"In a discussion on the fairness and balance of Fox News, the network's CEO Roger Ailes famously told Barbara Walters that, \"I'm not in politics. I'm in ratings. We're winning.\" If we are to take Ailes at his word, then we have to wonder why he keeps Glenn Beck on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4217,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4217","url_meta":{"origin":4204,"position":2},"title":"10 Reasons Why Fox News After Glenn Beck Will Still Suck","author":"Mark NC","date":"4\/13\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"\"If I were lying I'd be off the air.\" \u00a0\u00a0~ Glenn Beck, Jan 4, 2010. \"I'm going to be leaving this program later this year.\" \u00a0\u00a0~ Glenn Beck, Apr 6, 2011. This article was originally published on Alternet.There has already been a barrage of media analysis and discussion of Glenn\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4374,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4374","url_meta":{"origin":4204,"position":3},"title":"Judge Dreadful: Andrew Napolitano Mourns Osama Bin Laden","author":"Mark NC","date":"5\/2\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"It looks like Fox News may be able to call off their search for Glenn Beck's replacement. If drooling delirium and glassy-eyed insanity is the criteria, then Judge Andrew Napolitano has the role sewn up. Today he opened his program on Fox Business Network, Freedom Watch, saying... \"Osama Bin Laden\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4779,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4779","url_meta":{"origin":4204,"position":4},"title":"Two Things That Will Not Change When Glenn Beck Leaves Fox News","author":"Mark NC","date":"6\/30\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Today is a day that will not live in infamy. If remembered at all, it will not be for what happened, but for the disgusting and divisive error that was excised from our airwaves. Today is the day that Glenn Beck's Acute Paranoia Revue and Disinfotainment Revival Hour will broadcast\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":23051,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=23051","url_meta":{"origin":4204,"position":5},"title":"The Chokehold of Liberty: How The Grand Jury Failed Eric Garner And America","author":"Mark NC","date":"12\/3\/2014","format":false,"excerpt":"This evening's news that a New York grand jury could not find cause to indict a police officer, despite having video of him choking the victim, Eric Garner, is calling into question (again) the inadequate and unfair administration of justice as it is applied to African-Americans and other minorities. 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