{"id":4679,"date":"2011-06-18T13:18:01","date_gmt":"2011-06-18T20:18:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4679"},"modified":"2011-06-18T13:18:01","modified_gmt":"2011-06-18T20:18:01","slug":"palin-the-next-generation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4679","title":{"rendered":"Palin: The Next Generation"},"content":{"rendered":"

For anyone who was worried, the legacy of Alaska’s first failed VP candidate and half-term governor, Sarah Palin, will continue with her daughter, reality TV darling, Bristol. Next week her long-unawaited autobiography, “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far,”<\/em> will hit bookstores promising to reveal all of the unsolved mysteries that have befuddled Palintoligists for … well, not for all that long, actually. Mysteries like: Just how drunk was Bristol when “the gnat named Levi Johnston”<\/em> stole her virtue?<\/p>\n

Historians must be frantic with anticipation over this upcoming book. Bristol’s “journey so far”<\/em> is jam-packed with milestone events that define the American Dream. Events like having defeated David Hasselhoff in a dance contest (an accomplish greater than any her famous Mama Grizzly ever achieved). And then there was … um … OK, that’s about it. The real achievement is on the part of her co-author, Nancy French, who managed to stretch Bristol’s thin life story to 272 pages. There’s a lot of room there for scornful retaliations against ex-boyfriends and recollections of campaign trail shopping sprees.<\/p>\n

\"BristolHowever, Bristol may not want to get over-confident about her status of cultural superiority. Levi Johnston has his own book coming out in September titled, “Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs.”<\/em> Obviously, this is going to be a summer of literary enrichment. The two books occupy opposite poles of the political sideshow spectrum, at least so far as the titles are concerned. Bristol’s book extols her lack of fear, while Levi’s is analogically frozen in it.<\/p>\n

If I thought that these defective progeny were representative of America’s youth I would be stockpiling Prozac. Gratefully, that is not the case. The only thing we have to worry about from the Palin dynasty is an endless stream of reality shows. Look for the Palin’s to appear soon on Extreme Makeover, Celebrity Apprentice, or most likely of all, The Biggest Loser.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For anyone who was worried, the legacy of Alaska’s first failed VP candidate and half-term governor, Sarah Palin, will continue with her daughter, reality TV darling, Bristol. Next week her long-unawaited autobiography, “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far,” will hit bookstores promising to reveal all of the unsolved mysteries that have befuddled Palintoligists […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1,15],"tags":[853,903,381],"class_list":["post-4679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-humor","tag-bristol-palin","tag-levi-johnston","tag-sarah-palin"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-1dt","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1159,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1159","url_meta":{"origin":4679,"position":0},"title":"Sarah Palin: Conservative Of The Year","author":"Mark NC","date":"12\/23\/2008","format":false,"excerpt":"The uber-conservative Human Events Magazine has named Sarah Palin its \"Conservative of the Year,\" and I couldn't agree more. Palin exemplifies the vacuous philosophy of Republican politics. Her strident anti-intellectualism, blind faith, and personal corruption are the hallmarks of her Party and stand as testimony to her worthiness for this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3566,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=3566","url_meta":{"origin":4679,"position":1},"title":"The Top One Repulsively Conservative Hollywood Moment Of 2011 (So Far)","author":"Mark NC","date":"1\/2\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Andrew Breitbart's BigHollwood web site is a notoriously puerile destination for Tea Party true believers. It generally doesn't warrant my attention, but as this is the bottom half of a lazy New Year's weekend, and a slow news day, I thought I'd waste some time responding to a particularly dimwitted\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7829,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=7829","url_meta":{"origin":4679,"position":2},"title":"Sarah Palin Silent On Todd Akin’s ‘Legitimate Rape’ Comments","author":"Mark NC","date":"8\/21\/2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Sarah Palin fancies herself a modern conservative advocate for women. She frequently postures on issues that impact the role of women in public life and demands apologies from perpetrators of perceived sexism. Despite opposing equal pay, Planned Parenthood, insurance coverage for contraceptives, affirmative action, and other matters generally found in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":30677,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=30677","url_meta":{"origin":4679,"position":3},"title":"Reality TV Romance: The Meaning Of Sarah Palin’s Embrace Of Donald Trump","author":"Mark NC","date":"1\/19\/2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Confirming rumors that Sarah Palin might crawl out from under her frozen tundra to endorse Donald Trump, the big moment came today in a statement from the Trump campaign. For Trump this means that his campaign has now been validated by perhaps the most comically ignorant mainstream politician in decades.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Election"","block_context":{"text":"Election","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=152"},"img":{"alt_text":"Donald Trump Sarah Palin","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/trump-palin-2016.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/trump-palin-2016.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/trump-palin-2016.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1064,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1064","url_meta":{"origin":4679,"position":4},"title":"CNN’s Campbell Brown: Free Sarah Palin","author":"Mark NC","date":"9\/24\/2008","format":false,"excerpt":"It would be a mistake to get too bogged down on the Republican spokesmodel for vice-president, Sarah Palin, but this commentary by CNN's Campbell Brown is notable for diving straight to the point: This is also notable because Brown herself has not been a particularly bright light in the media\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Election"","block_context":{"text":"Election","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=152"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5066,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=5066","url_meta":{"origin":4679,"position":5},"title":"Sarah Palin Utterly And Pitifully DEFEATED!","author":"Mark NC","date":"7\/31\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"The third week of release for Sarah Palin's crockumentary, \"The Undefeated,\" saw its worst boxoffice performance yet. Dropping from 14 theaters last week to four this week, the film took in only $5,200 this weekend - a decline of 79%. Since its release, the million dollar production has earned a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Election"","block_context":{"text":"Election","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=152"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4679","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4679"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4679\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4681,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4679\/revisions\/4681"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}