{"id":574,"date":"2007-08-27T10:29:40","date_gmt":"2007-08-27T17:29:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=574"},"modified":"2007-08-27T11:29:36","modified_gmt":"2007-08-27T18:29:36","slug":"alberto-gonzales-forgets-not-to-resign","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=574","title":{"rendered":"Alberto Gonzales Forgets Not To Resign"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>For immediate Release:<\/p>\n<table width=\"140\" border=\"0\" align=\"center\" cellpadding=\"10\" cellspacing=\"0\">\n<tr>\n<td style=\"color:#993333\">\n<div align=\"center\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/Pix\/Humor\/gonzales-factor.jpg\"\/><\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n<p>Fox News, the most powerful name in lies, is preparing it&#8217;s most exciting roster of new programming ever. And kicking off the new season will be the premier of Alberto Gonzales&#8217; unforgettable nightly expose into &#8230; um &#8230; wait, don&#8217;t tell me &#8230; it&#8217;s on the tip of my tongue &#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Oh, never mind. It was probably privileged anyway.<\/p>\n<p>Just be sure not to miss it. Seriously. Anyone who misses it will be placed on the no-fly list, their phone will be tapped, and they may be subject to water boarding at Gitmo.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Last March, the forgettable Alberto Gonzales <a href=\"http:\/\/thinkprogress.org\/2007\/03\/22\/gonzales-staying-kids\/\" target=\"_blank\">told reporters<\/a> that&#8230;<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color:#0d00d0;\">&#8220;I&#8217;m not going to resign &#8211; I&#8217;m going to stay focused on protecting our kids.&#8221;<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Apparently, the kids have slipped his memory. But I remember that this embarrassment to justice had no problem recalling some unnamed statutes that would allow him to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=154\" target=\"_blank\">prosecute journalists<\/a> for doing their jobs:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><span style=\"color:#0d00d0;\">&#8220;There are some statutes on the book which, if you read the language carefully, would seem to indicate that that [prosecution] is a possibility.&#8221;<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Goodbye, and good riddance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>For immediate Release: Fox News, the most powerful name in lies, is preparing it&#8217;s most exciting roster of new programming ever. And kicking off the new season will be the premier of Alberto Gonzales&#8217; unforgettable nightly expose into &#8230; um &#8230; wait, don&#8217;t tell me &#8230; it&#8217;s on the tip of my tongue &#8230; Oh, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,3,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-574","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-graphix","category-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-9g","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":413,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=413","url_meta":{"origin":574,"position":0},"title":"The Media&#8217;s Take on Alberto Gonzales","author":"Mark NC","date":"4\/19\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"These are the headlines from Google News the evening after Alberto Gonzales testified before the U. S. Senate to explain the firing of U. S. Attorneys: GOP Senator Calls for Gonzales to Resign - Forbes, NY GOP Senator Calls for Gonzales to Resign - FOX News Gonzales losing GOP support\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":378,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=378","url_meta":{"origin":574,"position":1},"title":"Alberto &#8220;Gonzo&#8221; Gonzales","author":"Mark NC","date":"3\/15\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Now this is a bad day. Newspapers calling for the resignation of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales ... so far: New York Times Sacremento Bee Washington Post Los Angeles Times Philadephia Inquirer Buffalo (N.Y.) News Florida Today Financial Times Louisville Courier-Journal San Francisco Chronicle Dallas Morning News Chicago Tribune In a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":483,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=483","url_meta":{"origin":574,"position":2},"title":"Sitting Schmuck: Alberto Gonzales Ducks Columnists","author":"Mark NC","date":"6\/25\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"The National Society of Newspaper Columnists awarded its \"Sitting Duck\" award to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales at their annual convention last weekend. \"We're giving the award to Alberto Gonzales, but can't remember why,\" quipped NSNC President Mike Argento, columnist for the York (Pa.) Daily Record. The \"honor\" is awarded to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":382,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=382","url_meta":{"origin":574,"position":3},"title":"Kurtz Watch: Alberto Gone-zales?","author":"Mark NC","date":"3\/17\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Howard Kurtz is weighing in on the chaos at the Justice Department where eight U. S. Attorneys were dismissed under suspiciously political circumstances. The controversy extends to various shifting explanations from Alberto Gonzales and connections that reach into the White House. Kurtz begins by conceding that the matter was \"badly\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7342,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=7342","url_meta":{"origin":574,"position":4},"title":"Fox Nation Asks: Did Obama Violate His Oath Of Office?","author":"Mark NC","date":"6\/18\/2012","format":false,"excerpt":"As bad as the Fox News Channel is, it does not even come close to the irresponsible, juvenile, wildly biased, stinking heap of dishonesty that is the Fox Nation web site. A casual glance on any day of the week will reveal an endless stream of puerile and partisan propaganda\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Election&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Election","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=152"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":154,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=154","url_meta":{"origin":574,"position":5},"title":"Prosecute The Messenger","author":"Mark NC","date":"5\/23\/2006","format":false,"excerpt":"American media has worked hard to earn it's reputation as the lapdog of politicians and corporations. And how are they rewarded for their obedience? With threats of prosecution and incarceration should they publish any stories that contain classified information. Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales, rolled up the newspaper and smacked\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/574","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=574"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/574\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=574"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=574"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=574"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}