{"id":7410,"date":"2012-06-23T13:04:10","date_gmt":"2012-06-23T20:04:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=7410"},"modified":"2012-06-23T13:04:10","modified_gmt":"2012-06-23T20:04:10","slug":"glenn-beck-has-seen-the-finger-of-god-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=7410","title":{"rendered":"Glenn Beck Has Seen The Finger Of God &#8211; Again!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>God&#8217;s finger must be getting tired. He seems to be spending an inordinate amount of time wagging it at Glenn Beck.<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"\/Pix\/Humor\/beck-gods-finger.jpg\" alt=\"Glenn Beck and the Finger of God\" \/><\/center><br \/>\n<\/p>\n<p>Last week at the Freedom and Faith conference, Beck reiterated his claim to have <em>&#8220;seen the finger of God.&#8221;<\/em> He <a href=\"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4443\" target=\"_blank\">said the same thing<\/a> a year ago to his radio congregation. At that time I speculated that <em>&#8220;I think it&#8217;s more likely that God is going to reveal his foot to Beck&#8217;s ass.&#8221;<\/em> There is some Biblical support for my theory in <a href=\"http:\/\/www.biblegateway.com\/passage\/?search=Deuteronomy%2028:27-29&amp;version=KJV\" target=\"_blank\">Deuteronomy 28:27-29<\/a>:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><strong>27:<\/strong> The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.<br \/>\n<strong>28:<\/strong> The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart.<br \/>\n<strong>29:<\/strong> And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled evermore, and no man shall save thee.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>These prophesies are being fulfilled already. We hardly need to speak of Egypt and how badly Beck botched that with his delusions of a global Caliphate. The emerods (or hemorrhoids) he <a href=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=bX1rLv_hNeI\" target=\"_blank\">has already had<\/a>, and it nearly killed him. The <a href=\"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=2203\" target=\"_blank\">potential blindness<\/a> he announced tearfully in 2010. The astonishment, or madness, is self evident. Even his prosperity is being plundered as his television program was axed and numerous radio stations have <a href=\"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=6928\" target=\"_blank\">canceled his show<\/a> including, most recently, Los Angeles and his new home town of Dallas. <em>[By the way, I don&#8217;t buy the unsupported reports of his massive earnings since being cast off of Fox]<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Nevertheless, Beck is still insistent that his Heavenly Wi-Fi is connected and he&#8217;s getting DMs from the Lord:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;Let me tell you something. I have seen the finger of God. I have SEEN it. I&#8217;ve seen miracles happen. Over and over and over. I&#8217;ve seen it. Whether you want to recognize it&#8230;you go call it a coincidence. You go&#8230;God bless you. We&#8217;ll have a good laugh when we&#8217;re all up in Heaven together. [&#8230;] You can call it whatever you want, but I&#8217;ve seen the finger of God. He is not neutral in the affairs of man. He is not neutral in the freedom of mankind.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Beck neglects to give any examples of the miracles he has allegedly witnessed. However, we can go back to his Restoring Honor Revival Meeting in Washington, D.C. where he cited a flock of geese flying overhead as a bona fide miracle. By that standard I guess I can presume that God spoke to me overnight because this morning my car was spotted with numerous bird droppings.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s not all good news, however, as Beck tearfully warned his disciples that God <em>&#8220;is going to withdraw his protection the further we get from Him. He has to.&#8221;<\/em> I&#8217;m not sure you can get much further from God than Beck is already. When God flips you the bird, you should regard that as a sign that you have drifted apart. But Beck is probably too blinded by his own divine Narcissism that this, like the miracle geese, will go right over his head.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" width=\"480\" height=\"270\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/LKKukxbK0Fc?rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>God&#8217;s finger must be getting tired. He seems to be spending an inordinate amount of time wagging it at Glenn Beck. Last week at the Freedom and Faith conference, Beck reiterated his claim to have &#8220;seen the finger of God.&#8221; He said the same thing a year ago to his radio congregation. At that time [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1,16],"tags":[44],"class_list":["post-7410","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-wankery","tag-glenn-beck"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-1Vw","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4443,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4443","url_meta":{"origin":7410,"position":0},"title":"Glenn Beck Has Seen The Finger Of God","author":"Mark NC","date":"5\/13\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"As his tenure at Fox News winds to a close, Glenn Beck's Messianic delusions are escalating beyond imagination. Beck has long seen himself as the Lord's messenger. After visiting the Vatican last year he returned with a story of a mysterious man who told him that \"we know who you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4957,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4957","url_meta":{"origin":7410,"position":1},"title":"A Fearful Glenn Beck Is Moving His Restoring Courage Rally. Really?","author":"Mark NC","date":"7\/19\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"OK - Don't laugh. Glenn Beck has announced that the location of his August 24 \"Restoring Courage\" rally is being moved because he is afraid that there might be violence. So before the event heralding Beck's celebration of courage even begins he succumbs to a fear of some unspecified threat.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4131,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4131","url_meta":{"origin":7410,"position":2},"title":"A Sign From God? Glenn Beck&#8217;s Cursed Ratings","author":"Mark NC","date":"3\/30\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Listen up brothers and sisters, for the Word of God is nigh and sinners must repent with all haste. The End Times prophesied in the Good Book are upon us and there is no time to delay if you desire salvation. Take for instance the wayward soul we know as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2203,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=2203","url_meta":{"origin":7410,"position":3},"title":"The Lord Smites Glenn Beck With Blindness","author":"Mark NC","date":"7\/19\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Glenn Beck broke down again this weekend as he revealed to his congregation of American Revivalists that he may, or may not, go blind in the next year. It was a stirring moment wherein he sobbed as he confessed that, were he to lose his sight, he would miss reading\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2936,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=2936","url_meta":{"origin":7410,"position":4},"title":"The Metamorphosis Of Glenn Beck","author":"Mark NC","date":"10\/9\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Glenn Beck is being tested by God. He is undergoing a form of holy scrutiny to ascertain his devotion and commitment. A Baptism by fire. Why else would this humble servant of the Lord be subjected to the suffering and infirmity that he just announced to his disciples? \"I have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5967,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=5967","url_meta":{"origin":7410,"position":5},"title":"Apocalypse Soon: Is Glenn Beck In Financial Trouble?","author":"Mark NC","date":"12\/16\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"For several years now the shlock jock turned evangi-pundit, Glenn Beck, has been frightening his glassy-eyed viewers with exhortations that some Apocalyptic Perfect Storm is upon us. He has been predicting the imminent end of the world on a nearly daily basis. Little did we know that he was only\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;General&quot;","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7410","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7410"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7410\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7412,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7410\/revisions\/7412"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7410"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7410"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7410"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}