{"id":894,"date":"2008-05-05T14:33:42","date_gmt":"2008-05-05T21:33:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=894"},"modified":"2010-10-13T17:01:36","modified_gmt":"2010-10-14T00:01:36","slug":"elitistism-and-the-presidency-a-handbook-for-victory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=894","title":{"rendered":"Elitistism And The Presidency: A Handbook For Victory"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s taken over 200 years, but American politics is finally evolving into a mature process that reflects the inherent nature of her people. This experiment in Democracy has taken innumerable turns and tumbles over the years, most often relying on the dominant presence of an elite ruling class to steady the ship of state. Despite the egalitarian ring of our founding principles, a nation “of the people, by the people, for the people,”<\/em> still seemed more obeisant to the privileged. But no more.<\/p>\n

A new breed of populism has spread like a rash across the land. Its mission is to dismantle the doctrine of elitism and advance the rule of the common man and\/or woman. This crusade promises to forever alter the complexion of American government and deserves a closer examination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
First and foremost, anyone who purports to be a leader in this environment, must be an avid consumer of beer. This is important to establish one’s credentials as a down to earth representative of commonality and humility. It is also necessary so that voters have a way of indicating their preference for drinking companions.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Education is a key component in this new paradigm. It is absolutely critical that you not have too much of it. And never, ever use the word paradigm. Once the American people get the impression that you know more than they do about issues like economics or foreign policy, you’re disqualified from service. Achievement and expertise only spotlight how different you are from ordinary Americans.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A show of strength will give any candidate a boost. You must not be timid about threatening enemies, advocating torture, or bombing busy population centers of third world countries. And once having taken a position, it is political suicide to change it, regardless of changing circumstances. Americans demand stubborn certitude from their barely educated leaders.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A vocal commitment to family values is mandatory. Not an actual commitment, mind you. Just a vocal one. Speaking frequently of the sanctity of marriage, no matter how many times you have violated it, will shield you from any detrimental impact. Conversely, life-long faithfulness holds no advantage unless accompanied by a virulent denunciation of same-sex marriage.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
It is easy to be distracted by trivialities when engaged in a competitive campaign. But you must not let the appeal of junk food politics knock you off course. Stay focused on the issues that matter most to the people and you will always prevail. Those issues include flag lapel pins, ex-pastors, and quail hunting.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Two words: Go bowling. [Note: Take a few practice frames first]<\/em>
\nTwo more words: Don’t windsurf.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Immigration has taken a prominent role in public policy. No issue inflames the emotions of citizens like who gets to be a citizen. The Statue of Liberty notwithstanding, America is an exclusive club that can’t let just anybody in. Even the most disadvantaged, undereducated alien represents a risk to American workers, whom we’ve already established have a low regard for education, lest it turn them into the elite.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Finally, a foundation of faith is required of any seeker of high office. Submission to an unseen authority may be the single best evidence of a candidate’s refusal to be submissive. So long as you pronounce your allegiance to God, all of your other pronouncements are divinely inspired. Unless, of course, you are Catholic, Jewish, Mormon, or Allah forbid, Muslim. You may also want to steer clear of quirky, ethnic Baptist’s.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n

Yes, it’s taken over 200 years, but American politics is finally evolving into a mature process that honors the mediocrity of its people. In doing so it has laid the groundwork for electoral victory for anyone who understands and respects the new reality<\/p>\n

George W. Bush understands, and he has provided a working model for success: You don’t have to be like ordinary Americans, you just have to be able to pretend you’re like them.<\/em> How else could this son of Connecticut aristocracy; this progeny of senators and presidents; this oil baron and sports magnate, pass himself off as Texas bumpkin who enjoys clearing brush? This inarticulate, draft-dodging, C-, dynastic runt actually validates the American dream. As the first remedial president he has proven that you can grow up to be the Commander-in-Chief, in America, no matter how stupid you are. What other country can say that?<\/p>\n

The presidential campaign of 2008 is shaping up as a testament to Elitistism: the practice of discriminating against those who are, or are perceived to be, elite. The goal of Elitistism (aka Simpsonism) is to drive from public life anyone who diverges from the sacred visage of American Averagism.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

From an electoral perspective, the highest attainable ambition is ordinariness. Of the three remaining candidates we have:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. A millionaire lawyer\/senator, who is married to a former president, with decades on the government teat.<\/li>\n
  2. Another millionaire son of Admirals with a trophy wife and even more decades of being supported by the public.<\/li>\n
  3. A mixed-race child of a single mother who has spent years as a community activist and organizer.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    For the record, number three is regarded by the media as the Elitist. Go figure.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    It’s taken over 200 years, but American politics is finally evolving into a mature process that reflects the inherent nature of her people. This experiment in Democracy has taken innumerable turns and tumbles over the years, most often relying on the dominant presence of an elite ruling class to steady the ship of state. Despite […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[9,152,1,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-894","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-art-culture","category-election","category-general","category-humor"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-eq","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":364,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=364","url_meta":{"origin":894,"position":0},"title":"Fighting For A Free Press?","author":"Mark NC","date":"3\/4\/2007","format":false,"excerpt":"The escalating hostilities in Afghanistan were evident today when a suicide bomber launched an attack intended for a convoy of American Marines. Initial reports estimate that the blast killed 16 civilians and injured up to 34. Witnesses say that following the attack, the Americans fled, firing indiscriminately at vehicles and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Free Press"","block_context":{"text":"Free Press","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=14"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33938,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=33938","url_meta":{"origin":894,"position":1},"title":"Watergate’s Carl Bernstein Says Donald Trump Is ‘More Treacherous’ Than Nixon","author":"Mark NC","date":"2\/19\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Fallout from Donald Trump's brazenly anti-American attack on the press continues to spread. Last Friday he posted a comment on Twitter that has been universally assailed for its hostility to the Constitution and one of its most cherished principles: A free press. He tweeted: https:\/\/twitter.com\/realDonaldTrump\/status\/832708293516632065 The reaction to this nauseating\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Free Press"","block_context":{"text":"Free Press","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=14"},"img":{"alt_text":"Carl Bernstein","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/bernstein-trump-treacherous.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/bernstein-trump-treacherous.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/bernstein-trump-treacherous.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3339,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=3339","url_meta":{"origin":894,"position":2},"title":"Fox Nation And The Right-Wing Embrace Of Censorship","author":"Mark NC","date":"11\/30\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"The release of some 250,000 documents by WikiLeaks has stirred up a hornets nest of protest from the rightist martinets of virtue. There have been calls to shut down the WikiLeaks web site, to arrest its principals, and even to execute those responsible for treason. But what it all amounts\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5518,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=5518","url_meta":{"origin":894,"position":3},"title":"Fox News: Rooting For America To Fail","author":"Mark NC","date":"10\/12\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Fox News likes to pretend that they represent the true patriots in America. Their studio and graphics are awash in red, white, and blue. They lavish attention on every soldier who gets within range of their cameras (unless the soldier is gay, in which case they boo him). They have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4702,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=4702","url_meta":{"origin":894,"position":4},"title":"Van Jones To Fox News: Cease And Desist!","author":"Mark NC","date":"6\/20\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Lawyers for Van Jones have taken a step that ought to have been taken long ago - by numerous people, for hundreds of offenses. Jones' representatives have notified Fox News that that he will no longer tolerate the lies and defamation that they have engaged in for the past couple\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":33924,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=33924","url_meta":{"origin":894,"position":5},"title":"Trump’s ‘Enemy Of The American People’ Is A Direct Threat To The Free Press","author":"Mark NC","date":"2\/18\/2017","format":false,"excerpt":"From the outset of Donald Trump's campaign he has made the media a target of his attacks, insults and retribution. He has called them liars and sleazy and horrible people. Keeping them penned up at his rallies was common, as was expelling those he especially disliked. Organizations that advocate for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Censorship"","block_context":{"text":"Censorship","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=56"},"img":{"alt_text":"Donald Trump","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/trump-media-enemy.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/trump-media-enemy.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/trump-media-enemy.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/894","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=894"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/894\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2955,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/894\/revisions\/2955"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=894"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=894"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=894"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}