{"id":9595,"date":"2013-05-05T12:13:46","date_gmt":"2013-05-05T19:13:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=9595"},"modified":"2013-05-05T15:09:00","modified_gmt":"2013-05-05T22:09:00","slug":"nra-theism-glenn-becks-jesus-was-a-pistol-packin-messiah","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=9595","title":{"rendered":"NRA-Theism: Glenn Beck’s Jesus Was A Pistol-Packin’ Messiah"},"content":{"rendered":"

The keynote speaker for this year’s NRA convention in Houston was a real crowd pleaser with experience riling up weak-minded right-wing sheeple. Glenn Beck’s sermon was delivered with his usual flair for phony emotion and theatrics. Here is the video<\/a> if you have the stomach for it.<\/p>\n

\"Glenn<\/center>
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Beck set up his speech by fluffing the audience with praise for what awesome, charitable, courageous, sexy, patriots they all were. Of course, they lapped up this drooling approbation like thirsty puppies and rewarded Beck’s pandering with masturbatory applause. Beck gave the people exactly what they wanted and even titillated them with a teasing hint of a new project he would be announcing “in the coming days”<\/em> with “major partners.”<\/em><\/p>\n

The primary message of Beck’s program, however, was a more overarching appeal to the grand province of the Lord, with whom Beck frequently reminds folks that he is in close communication. Never mind that Beck’s interpretation of the divine is in stark contrast to that of most theologians. Take, for instance, how he inexplicably juxtaposes the mission of the NRA with that of the Prince of Peace by saying “Our right to keep and bear arms will not be infringed. We will follow the footsteps of Jesus Christ.”<\/em> And while Beck never reveals where in scripture he learned that Jesus’ footsteps were fortified with firearms, he returned to the theme several times with pronouncements like this:<\/p>\n

“Jesus was a man of God. He was a man of peace. He was a man of forgiveness. But make no mistake, Jesus Christ was also immoveable. The right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. And we will win by strapping on the full armor of God.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Perhaps someone should remind Beck that Jesus ordered his apostles to lay down their weapons when confronted with Roman soldiers who came to arrest him in the Garden of Gethsemane. Or maybe they just dismiss it as that old “live by the sword, die by the sword”<\/em> nonsense that their savior mumbled while under duress. Or, much like the 2nd Amendment, they just heed the half of the text that appeals to them and throw out irrelevancies like “die by the sword”<\/em> and “well regulated militia.”<\/em> And where he gets this business about the “armor of God”<\/em> that he’s so anxious to strap on (an unfortunate phrasing), is anybody’s guess. The closest similar rhetoric would come from the Crusades. In the end, it belittles any notion of a divine power that certainly doesn’t need to rely on the defensive accoutrements of mortals.<\/p>\n

Beck railed on interminably, punctuating his evangelical bluster with warnings of end-times alarmism. He insisted that we are in a “precarious situation”<\/em> and that “the hour grows late.”<\/em> He feverishly hammered into the heads of his assembled m<\/s>asses the apocalyptic angst that is the hallmark of his nightmarish doctrine.<\/p>\n

“Our freedom is under attack. Our liberty, our way of life is being legislated out of existence. Our rights are being diminished by a ruling class of power of elites. They’re growing out of control. We have a government of radical revolutionaries actively working against the Constitution and the American people.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

And after that upchucking of fear and darkness, Beck was steadfast in his determination to fight the left’s tactics of fear and darkness – with love. Because, as we all know, love is best expressed behind the muzzle of an assault weapon that was acquired without any background check. Just ask the children of Sandy Hook, the students of Virginia Tech, the movie fans of Aurora, or even the church-goers of Oak Creek, Wisconsin.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The keynote speaker for this year’s NRA convention in Houston was a real crowd pleaser with experience riling up weak-minded right-wing sheeple. Glenn Beck’s sermon was delivered with his usual flair for phony emotion and theatrics. Here is the video if you have the stomach for it. Beck set up his speech by fluffing the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[44,1019,1147],"class_list":["post-9595","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-glenn-beck","tag-nra","tag-religion"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4Ijg-2uL","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":27411,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=27411","url_meta":{"origin":9595,"position":0},"title":"Will Glenn Beck Keep His Promise To Resign From The NRA? (Yeah, Right)","author":"Mark NC","date":"4\/13\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Last month Glenn Beck flew into one of his patented frenzies over some imagined conspiratorial threat that only he could see. This one involved his belief that Grover Norquist, the ultra-conservative anti-tax crusader, was secretly a Muslim who was plotting to destroy America through his seat on the board of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"Glenn Beck - Grover Norquist","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/beck-nra-norquist.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/beck-nra-norquist.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/beck-nra-norquist.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":26110,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=26110","url_meta":{"origin":9595,"position":1},"title":"Glenn Beck Threatens To Quit NRA Due To Infiltration By Muslim Jihadists","author":"Mark NC","date":"3\/13\/2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The nightmare of Armageddon is becoming more real every day as the signs continue to reveal that we are inhabiting the End Times forecast by the Biblical prophets of talk radio. Death and destruction are looming just over the horizon according to God's messenger on the InterTubes, the Reverend Glenn\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"Glenn Beck - Grover Norquist","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/beck-nra-norquist.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/beck-nra-norquist.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/..\/Pix\/Trump\/beck-nra-norquist.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1647,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=1647","url_meta":{"origin":9595,"position":2},"title":"Glenn Beck And The Gun Nuts At The NRA Conference","author":"Mark NC","date":"5\/16\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Glenn Beck has been pretty busy this weekend. After delivering the commencement speech at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University in Virginia, where he told the graduating class to \"shoot to kill,\" he jetted off to North Carolina to deliver the same message to the National Rifle Association. He began is address\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5523,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=5523","url_meta":{"origin":9595,"position":3},"title":"Strike Out Beck: Why Did Major League Baseball Put Glenn Beck In Their Lineup?","author":"Mark NC","date":"10\/13\/2011","format":false,"excerpt":"A new web site has come up to bat that is challenging Major League Baseball's support for Glenn Beck's new GBTV venture. With America's game down to the final exciting innings of post-season, a new campaign from Americans United for Change is pressuring Major League Baseball to immediately end its\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6949,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=6949","url_meta":{"origin":9595,"position":4},"title":"BEWARE: Glenn Beck’s Web Site TheBlaze Hosts Computer Virus","author":"Mark NC","date":"4\/25\/2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Anyone foolish enough to visit a web site run by Glenn Beck now has something additional to worry about. Norton's Internet Security software is warning that Beck's TheBlaze \"news\" site is host to a computer virus that it describes as \"a serious security threat.\" Perhaps this is related to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3374,"url":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?p=3374","url_meta":{"origin":9595,"position":5},"title":"Glenn Beck’s Amazon Wish List Revealed","author":"Mark NC","date":"12\/6\/2010","format":false,"excerpt":"You'll never guess what Glenn Beck wants for Christmas. Here's a hint: It's something he really, really needs. Well, you don't have to wonder any more. The crack investigators at News Corpse, with help from Glenn Beck Unhinged, have discovered Beck's Wish List on Amazon.com. Stop by and consider helping\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9595","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9595"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9595\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9598,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9595\/revisions\/9598"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9595"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9595"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newscorpse.com\/ncWP\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9595"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}