Joe The Plumber: Living In The Past

It would take something uncommonly funny to resurrect any interest in the sublimely irrelevant Joe “The Plumber” Wurzelbacher. And wouldn’t you know it, Joe obliges:

“I don’t listen to Rush Limbaugh or Glenn Beck or Sean Hannity because I never want to be accused to stealing their material.”

What does he think he is, a stand-up comic? Is he really worried that he might hear one of his ideological allies pop out an anti-liberal gem and then he’d absentmindedly pass it off as one of his own (as if he’s ever had an original thought)? Someone needs to explain to him how the vast [fill-in-the-blank]-wing conspiracy works. You’re supposed to promote shared ideas and commonly held views.

It’s probably for the best that he isn’t listening to Limbaugh, Beck, and Hannity. That would be a healthy prescription for anyone, even a delusional moron who has far exceeded his allotted fifteen minutes. But you have to admire Joey the P’s persistence in grasping for a shred of limelight. Especially his work ethic. He doesn’t just show up at a Tea Party and start shouting at imaginary socialists.

“I come up with my own facts. Usually, they’re from 40-year-old encyclopedias. I don’t look at the new stuff because the new stuff’s been rewritten. But you take an encyclopedia written 40 years ago and you take a new one today, and you’ll find a world of difference.”

Exactly! That’s why old Joe still thinks we have to defend ourselves against the Soviet Union. It’s why he refuses to fall for that nonsense about a moon landing. And he can’t wait to buy the next ABBA 8-track. Although he remains confused about why so many people are talking about the B-movie actor who became governor of California.

I would go Joe one better and refuse to read any encyclopedia printed after Gutenberg. Everyone knows that by turning the press into a mass medium it fundamentally transformed it into a progressive propaganda machine. News and information should only be available to the wealthy and powerful, as God intended.

Advertisement:

6 thoughts on “Joe The Plumber: Living In The Past

  1. I bought an old set of World Book Encylopedia at a yard sale in the 80s to have some basic refence for the kid. It was the 1960 edition, same as we had in our elementary shcool rooms way back when. Found a most interesting listing under “communism” and related it to my dear father later saying (from the book): The earliest know forms of communism were practiced by the first Christians and American Indians. He turned beet red and I thought he might pop a vein. And Samuel is so yesterday!

  2. I bet he can’t wait to update to the 30-year-old encyclopedias so he can learn about that newfangled Atari and Pong.

    • No. Those have all been rewritten to include propaganda like the Iran/Contra scandal; or that some chick named Thatcher supposedly ruled the UK; or that John Lennon was shot.

      Don’t you see? It’s a massive plot to replace our old reliable knowledge with new “knowledge” that didn’t exist 40 years ago. :-O

  3. Why am I not surprised by this idiot? Joe whoever gave you the impression that you actually had a thought of your own?

  4. Joe the plumber obviously scares the crap out of you leftist loons.
    I see little to nothing regarding Joe from the media on the right.
    It is the media on the left who is living in the past on this issue.
    Joe was singled out of the crowd by Obama – ooooops !!!
    I bet Obama’s handlers that day believe “Those who do not study the events of the past are doomed to repeat it.”

Comments are closed.