Humor

Trump Has a Fear of Comedians that’s Rooted in His Fear of Looking Like a Fool – Too Late

Posted by on November 21, 2018 at 1:25 pm. 2 Comments :

The White House Correspondents Dinner (WHCD) is an annual affair that raises funds to provide scholarships for gifted journalism students. In past years it has featured notable comedians who often skewer both the press and the politicians who attend the event. The President of the United States is almost always in attendance. However, Donald Trump has been a no-show for two years in a row.

Donald Trump

The last president to decline to attend was Ronald Reagan. But he had a pretty good excuse. He was recovering from the bullet wounds of a would-be assassin. Trump’s reason for snubbing the event is pure cowardice. For years Trump has whined about comedians making jokes at his expense. His skin is so thin that it needs a coat of orange primer before he can go out in a light breeze. And many of the targets of his animated anus (sorry, that was the auto-correct) animus have been comedians that deigned to make him the butthead of their jokes. From Rosie O’Donnell to Bill Maher to Stephen Colbert to Jon Stewart, and so many more, Trump has devoted an incredible amount of time on maligning them personally and professionally.

Trump has focused particular attention on the past guest comedians of the WHCD. The routine by Seth Meyers in 2011 (video below) really set him off, and some say contributed to his decision to run for president as some sort of perverse revenge. But it was last year’s comic, Michelle Wolf, who brought out Trump’s inner (and outer) petulant child. Wolf did a brilliantly cutting monologue that burned both Trump and his surrogate, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, who showed up in his place.

The controversy generated by Wolf’s routine has now caused the WHCD to announce that they will not have a comedian next year. It’s a pathetically weak response to controversy by an organization that is supposed to stand for freedom of speech. Instead they will feature a historian, Ron Chernow. And this news has pleased Donald Trump to no end. He even tweeted about:

First of all, Trump needs to be corrected, again. Wolf bombed so badly that she got her own TV show on Netflix. Poor thing. And she had an epic reply to Trump’s petty criticisms:

Nevertheless, Trump is so thrilled with the WHCD’s decision to host an author that he is hinting that he might actually attend this year. Or more accurately, threatening. Because no one really wants him to be there. His presence would be a disruption wherein he would demand all of the attention and then complain about it afterwards. However, Trump might be sorely disappointed if he musters the gumption to attend. Chernow is not exactly one of the Trump-fluffers that populate Fox News. He has some pointed opinions about Trump that could very well make their way into his presentation. According to Politico:

“During the 2016 election campaign, Chernow said he was disturbed by Trump’s campaign and feared that Americans ‘can forget who we are as a people and succumb to historical amnesia.’

“‘Make no mistake about it, when the past is scrubbed clean and American history becomes a blank slate, Donald Trump or any other demagogue can come along and write upon it whatever the hell he wants. And that disturbs me most of all,’ he said in a video posted on Facebook. ‘Please, please, please folks, don’t let it happen here.'”

A dinner affair with the press is not an especially good fit for this president who hates the media with a passion. And the journalists present surely would object to sitting next to a bloviating ignoramus who just tried to ban a CNN reporter, Jim Acosta, from the White House, and insulted three African-American journalists. As a result of those confrontations, Trump has now issued a decree to “govern the conduct of journalists,” something the press corps certainly won’t tolerate. In addition, Trump’s siding with the murderers in Saudi Arabia who killed and dismembered a Washington Post correspondent and American resident, Jamal Khashoggi, can’t sit well with an organization committed to the welfare of journalists.

However, the prospect of Trump attending the dinner could have a brighter side. It might be worth it to see Trump grimace through twenty minutes of a historian bashing his disrespect for the First Amendment and his Stalinist rhetoric about the media being “the enemy of the people.” The camera picking up his reactions to Chernow’s academically reinforced criticisms could be funnier than any of the comedians that might have been on the bill. Because there is one thing that hurts Trump even more than Melania laughing at his trouser toadstool (h/t Stormy). And that’s looking like a fool. But unfortunately for him, that ship of fools has sailed. And Trump has to eventually accept the fact that “The whole world is watching laughing. At him.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Tweetstorm MMXVIII: A Total Witch Hunt Like No Other, Starring Donald ‘The cRock’ Trump

Posted by on November 15, 2018 at 10:53 am. 5 Comments :

As the holiday season approaches, the entertainment industry begins to trot out their best bets for Oscar worthy attention. They are a mix of big budget extravaganzas and smaller offerings that feature heart tugging stories and star-making performances. So naturally the nation’s top Reality TV mogul in Washington is rolling out his best work for your consideration.

Donald Trump Zombie

Donald Trump just released the latest edition of his Tweetstorm series with a HUGE promotional push. This episode contains all of the thrilling adventure that has made this continuing MAGA saga so popular. And of course, it is steeped in the pompous and flamboyant fiction that has characterized the series from the start. So without further ado:

Trump leaps straight into the action with an attack by the evil genius, special counsel Robert Mueller, who in this outing has “gone absolutely nuts.” Somehow, without having any access to the inner workings of the special counsel’s team, Trump has figured out that they have no evidence of collusion (they do), and that they are “screaming and shouting at people.” Which must be horribly frightening to Cadet Bone Spurs.

Trump frantically reveals the alleged conflicts of Mueller and his Angry People Brigade, who worked for the criminal Kenyan that posed as “President” Obama for eight years. An intriguing plot twist – that Mueller is actually a life-long Republican who spent his career working mostly for GOP administrations – is left for a surprise ending. But the ever present threat of the “Witch Hunt” still looms over the Trump White House. And not just any Witch Hunt, but one that is worse than any other in history. Presumably that includes the the actual Salem witch hunts where an untold number of innocent women were murdered by devoted Christians.

Trump’s story line includes his complaint that Mueller wasn’t confirmed by the Senate. Never mind that no other similar investigator had such confirmation or was required to by law. In Trumpworld facts are just annoyances to be ignored or swatted away. The story also features perennial Tweetstorm villains like “Crooked” Hillary Clinton and the McCabe gang. These are the hideous “thugs” who have ravaged America throughout the Tweetstorm legend.

Finally, Trump reintroduces some old plot lines like the forbidden “DNC Server” and the “Facebook, Twitter, Google Cabal” that has conspired against Trump and his League of Nationalists. None of his protestations on these matters are remotely true, but that’s what makes it so exciting for his Deplorables.

Tweetstorm MMXVIII is an epic adventure in pure desperation as Trump seeks to recover from the devastating “Blue Wave” that engulfed him in last week’s midterm elections. He simply cannot face up to the fact that America rejected him and his abhorrent agenda of hate and division. So he’s flailing wildly in order to create a distraction and salve his tortured ego. And that’s what makes this the most entertaining release of the season. But also the most terrifying.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Donald Trump Seeking Immunity From Mueller in Exchange for Flipping on Don Jr And Melania

Posted by on August 25, 2018 at 11:33 am. 4 Comments :

The past week has seen a flurry of unprecedented activity in Washington concerning the criminal probe of Donald Trump and his Confederacy of Crooks. Most noteworthy are the felony convictions and guilty pleas by Trump’s campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, and personal attorney, Michael Cohen. With respect to the latter, Trump was even implicated as a co-conspirator in unlawful campaign finance transactions.

Donald Trump, Melania, Don Jr

Also in the news were two of Trump’s closest associates who were granted immunity by federal prosecutors. David Pecker is the publisher of the National Enquirer, a tabloid that has gone to great lengths to shield Trump from negative publicity, while harshly attacking his opponents. He has also been a Trump friend and ally for more than two decades. Allen Weisselberg is the long-time chief financial officer of the the Trump Organization with knowledge of nearly everything that goes on behind the closed doors of Trump’s criminal enterprise. The fact that both of these people were offered and accepted immunity indicates that they were complicit in illegal activities and that they have information to share.

Not wanting to get left holding the bag, Trump himself is reported to be seeking an immunity deal. After all, why should he take the fall if he can point his bony fingers at other dumb suckers? Sources say that Trump is willing to spill his guts about the meeting with Russian operatives at Trump Tower that was set up by his son Don Jr. and Manafort. Nearly everyone involved in that secret meeting has lied repeatedly about what took place. And that includes Trump, who recently outed himself as having deliberately deceived the nation. Consequently, it will be interesting to get his testimony about what actually occurred, if he can be relied on to tell the truth (a longshot at best).

What’s more, Trump has been carefully watching the case of Rep. Duncan Hunter, who was just indicted on corruption charges. Hunter was the second person in congress to endorse Trump’s presidential campaign. It’s tangentially noteworthy that Trump’s first congressional endorser, Chris Collins, has also been indicted. And his third is the embattled Attorney General, Jeff Sessions.

Of particular interest to Trump is Hunter’s legal strategy of blaming his wife for any wrongdoing. It’s a bold move that most defendants (or decent people) would shy away from. But Trump appears to regard it as a show of strength and a sign of masculinity. Therefore, he is also offering the special counsel incriminating information on his wife, Melania. The First Lady has not been been implicated yet in any of the shady dealings by Team Trump, but the President believes he can link her to nefarious activities due to her being an immigrant with suspect loyalties to America.

This concession to the Mueller and company is a stark turnaround for Trump who has expressed in no uncertain terms his utter disdain for “flippers.” He regards them as “rats” and conversely sees people who resist cooperating with law enforcement as being loyal to their fellow mobsters. But then Trump is getting some very dodgy legal advice which he says comes from the shows he watches on TV.

It is not known whether Mueller is considering immunity for Trump. For one thing, he doesn’t appear to have any information on the sort of bigger fish that immunity is generally granted to hook. He is the biggest flounder in the cesspool. Furthermore, his request just smells like another stab at desperation to avoid being impeached, indicted, and imprisoned himself. For those and other reasons, Trump may be disappointed in his quest to escape responsibility for his misdeeds and corruption. Perhaps he’d have more luck if he had an embarrassing video of Vladimir Putin in a Moscow hotel with urinating hookers. Oh wait, that was Trump too.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Married to the Mob: Bill Maher Tells America What they Really Got with Donald Trump

Posted by on May 12, 2018 at 3:58 pm. 2 Comments :

The presidency of Donald Trump has been likened to some of the most horrible episodes of America’s past. Most frequently it is compared to Nixon’s Watergate scandal that saw the White House intimately involved in burglary, bribery, and election tampering. The lies told by members of the Nixon administration are what got most of the criminal convictions and, eventually, the resignation of the President. Sound familiar?

Bill Maher, Donald Trump

However, Bill Maher has hit on a much more accurate analogy for the Trump crime family. With particular emphasis on the “Family” part. In a segment on his “Real Time” program on HBO Friday night he painted a picture of Trump and Company as typical of the common thugs associated with the Mafia. It was an insightful – and hilarious – six and half minutes of bruising truth. He came out swinging with this depiction of the genesis of Trump (video below):

“New York City has to stop exporting its garbage to the rest of America […] The city’s most toxic trash has been carted off to Washington, D.C.” (with picture of Donald Trump, Michael Cohen, and Rudy Giuliani).

Maher goes on to describe these wondering New Yorkers as “What the heartland used to call ‘assholes.'” He wonders why the people from “real America” likes these guys now. Then he asks:

“How did the salt of the Earth people get hooked up with the salt in the wound people? […] You’re the ‘my word is my bond’ people. These guys lie just to stay in practice. You’re all about an honest day’s work. Trump watches TV until noon. You’re frugal. They spend like identity thieves who got a hold of your pin number. You’re stoic. Trump’s a whiny little bitch.”

Maher breaks it to the Trump cult that “Now you’re married to the mob. Cause that’s what this administration is: a protection racket.” Maher’s colorful comparison of the Trump Family to the Godfather was stinging in its precision. The corollaries are way to accurate to be ignored:

“Everything Trump does is modeled on the mob. When he was accused of sexual harassment, he brought in Bill Clinton’s accusers to sit in the gallery at the debate. Just like Michael Corleone brought Fat Pentangeli’s brother into court. Who does Trump surround himself with? Disposable lawyers and idiot members of his own family. Who’s his worst enemy? The FBI. Where does his money come from? He’s in construction. […] “What part of this isn’t mob-like? They’re using a front business – in this case the White House – to enrich the family.”

There’s someone else who has made the same link between Trump and the mob. Special counsel Robert Mueller has structured his investigative team much like the ones that went after prominent Mafia bosses. They are probing his relationships with unsavory characters (including Russians). They are digging into his bank records and phone calls. They have been successful in getting insiders to turn states evidence and may even have worn a wire into meetings with the Donald. Mueller’s inquiry follows the same strategies that he has actually used on crime bosses in the past.

Consequently, Trump should be worried. And judging by his frightened reaction to every new revelation, he is. All those tweets screaming little more than “Witch Hunt” and “Fake News” are the best evidence that he is fracturing from the inside out. And while it is a serious unfolding of a dreadful period in America’s history, at least we have a brilliant bit of comic relief by people like Bill Maher to help us get through it.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Donald Trump Fires His Daughter Ivanka In An Easter Sunday Staffing Rebirth

Posted by on April 1, 2018 at 10:19 am. 2 Comments :

Virtually every alleged achievement that Donald Trump talks about is portrayed as the greatest accomplishment of its kind in the history of the world. Needless to say, that is never actually true. However, there is something that Trump could claim as record-setting if he were of a mind to. That’s the pace at which he has lost members of his administration, from cabinet secretaries to personal assistants. The people he touted as “the best” have scattered like leaves in a hurricane.

Ivanka Trump

Now the President has made what may be the most surprising personnel decision since his inauguration. His daughter Ivanka, and her husband Jared Kushner, have been exiled from their White House posts, according to sources familiar with the situation. Insiders say that Trump was generally satisfied with the progress (or deliberate lack thereof) on the projects that were assigned to them. But he was infuriated by comments that Ivanka has made to the press in recent weeks. For instance:

  • During the Alabama Senate special election, Ivanka appeared to criticize Republican Roy Moore saying that “There is a special place in hell for people who prey on children.”
  • In remarks that could easily be attributed to her father’s record of serial sexual harassment and assault she said “I have no reason to doubt the victims’ accounts.”
  • Speaking about the GOP tax bill, Ivanka said “I’m really looking forward to doing a lot of traveling in April when people realize the effect that this has.” That was interrupted by Trump as meaning that she wanted to get out of town so she wouldn’t have to answer difficult questions about why it failed to help anyone.
  • For some inexplicable reason Trump saw this comment as whining: “There is a level of viciousness [in the media] I was not expecting.”
  • And this sentiment may have been the most maddening of all: “I really try to avoid getting drawn into politics. […] I care more about the country than politics.” Trump is adamant that all of his team put his political interests above everything else. Ivanka crossed a line here.

In addition to those blunders, Ivanka also made an unforgivable error on Twitter last Christmas by aiding and abetting the enemies in the War on Christmas:

There were hints of these terminations recently in the news. Reports from inside the White House indicated that Trump was secretly steering Chief of Staff John Kelly to help him push Javanka out. Kelly was said to be amenable to this because he never thought she should have had an official role in the administration in the first place.

Also, recent disclosures by porn star Stormy Daniels and Playboy model Karen McDougal may explain Trump’s willingness to cut Ivanka loose. They both independently revealed that Trump told them that they remind him of Ivanka. Therefore, he has an inexhaustible pool of potential replacements for the position of First Daughter. So why not take advantage of this holiday weekend to start the process of upgrading? What better day than April First/Fools? :)

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

UPDATE April 2, 2018: In case you haven’t already figured it out – – – April Fools! Sorry to disappoint y’all. I wish it were true too. Maybe soon all the Trumps will be gone.

Jimmy Kimmel Pounds Fox News Host as a ‘Phony Little Creep’ for Lying About GOP Healthcare Bill

Posted by on September 21, 2017 at 2:08 pm. 5 Comments :

The feud between talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel and Sen. Bill Cassidy is heating up. Cassidy, co-author of the latest attempt by Republicans to kill ObamaCare, has been clashing with Kimmel over the healthcare bill. It all began when the Senator promised Kimmel that he wouldn’t support any bill that didn’t pass the “Jimmy Kimmel Test.” That was a term Cassidy coined to insure that healthcare legislation prohibited benefit caps and included coverage for preexisting conditions. Those features, among others, were championed by Kimmel following the recent birth of his son with heart defects.

Jimmy Kimmel

When Cassidy’s bill was introduced it notably failed the Kimmel test. While technically containing language referring to preexisting conditions, it allows insurance companies to raise rates on those customers. In effect, they could increase premiums without limit making policies unaffordable. Not surprisingly, Kimmel brought up that failure on his show, pointing out that Cassidy had lied to his face. In response the bill’s authors fired back at Kimmel with more lies and personal attacks. Sen. Lindsay Graham tweeted that Kimmel was offering “FakeNews on steroids.” Cassidy said “I’m sorry [Kimmel] does not understand.” To which Kimmel replied (video below):

“Oh, I get it. I don’t understand because I’m a talk-show host, right? Well then, help me out. Which part don’t I understand? Is it the part where you cut $243 billion from federal health care assistance? Am I not understanding the part where states would be allowed to let insurance companies price you out of coverage for having pre-existing conditions? Maybe I’m not understanding the part of your bill in which federal funding disappears completely after 2026? Or maybe it was the part where the plans are no longer required to pay for essential health benefits, like maternity care or pediatric visits?”

Kimmel went on to ask whether he failed to understand the public reaction to Cassidy’s legislation. He listed more than a dozen respected healthcare organizations who “all vehemently oppose your bill.” They included the American Medical Association, the American Cancer Society, the American Heart Association, and the March of Dimes.

But then Kimmel shifted gears to address some comments made by Brian Kilmeade of Fox News. The co-host of Donald Trump’s favorite TV show, Fox and Friends, lashed out at Kimmel for speaking his mind on a subject that was painfully close to him. Kilmeade said that:

“Sunday’s politically charged Emmys may have been the lowest-rated in history, but that’s not stopping Hollywood elites like comedian Jimmy Kimmel from pushing their politics on the rest of the country.”

Kilmeade was wrong – again. The Emmy broadcast was not the lowest rated in history. But what that has to do with the validity of anything Jimmy Kimmel says is a mystery. However, if that’s the standard Kilmeade wants to use he should note that Kimmel’s ratings have soared during this recent dust-up. Therefore, he is at least as entitled to express his views as Kilmeade does everyday on his pretend news program. What’s more, experts have sided with Kimmel’s analysis over Cassidy’s, and PolitiFact called Cassidy’s remarks “mostly false.” So Kimmel did express his views again Wednesday night in response to Kilmeade:

“Thanks, Brian. That was Brian Kilmeade. And the reason I found this comment to be particularly annoying is because this is a guy, Brian Kilmeade, who whenever I see him kisses my ass like a little boy meeting Batman. He’s such a fan. I think he’s been to the show, he follows me on Twitter. He asked me to write a blurb for his book – which I did, he calls my agent looking for projects. He’s dying to be a member of the ‘Hollywood elite.’ The only reason he’s not a member of the ‘Hollywood elite’ is that no one will hire him to be one!

“And you know, the reason I’m talking about this is because my son had an open-heart surgery and has to have two more. Because of that, I’ve learned that there are kids with no insurance in the same situation. I don’t get anything out of this, Brian, you phony little creep. Oh, I’ll pound you when I see you. That is my blurb—that would be my blurb for your next book: ‘Brian Kilmeade is a phony little creep.’”

The whole segment is well worth watching. Kimmel obviously and understandably has a personal attachment to this issue. And, as he he said, the terms of the healthcare bill don’t affect him because he has the resources to take care of whatever his family encounters. His commentaries are on behalf of millions of Americans who stand to suffer if Republicans like Cassidy get their way. Phony creeps like Kilmeade really need to stop harassing caring people like Kimmel who will always win such battles.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

It’s Come To This? Florida Sheriff Has to Warn People NOT to Shoot Into Hurricane Irma

Posted by on September 10, 2017 at 12:40 pm. NO Comments :

Sunday morning is bringing an unprecedented peril to Florida and much of the Southeast. As Hurricane Irma gets closer to population centers it’s size and strength are threatening both life and property. The most important thing now is for anyone who has not evacuated to find shelter and hope for the best.

Hurricane Shooter

That said, there are still surprisingly asinine incidents popping up that make one question Darwin’s theory of natural selection. For instance, Rush Limbaugh broadcast a ludicrous and dangerous conspiracy theory. He said that warnings to evacuate were just a plot by television companies and convenience stores to increase ratings and sell more bottled water. Less than twenty-four hours later he fled his Palm Beach estate, leaving his listeners to the fate of Irma.

However, a Facebook post later appeared to challenge Limbaugh’s idiocy. Ryon Edwards, a twenty-two year old prankster, posted an event coordinated to the arrival of Hurricane Irma. He invited readers to join him in shooting at the hurricane to alleviate any related stress or boredom. They responded in the tens of thousands. This did not go over very well with the law enforcement community. As Time Magazine reports:

“Florida authorities are advising people against firing weapons at Hurricane Irma following a Facebook event titled ‘Shoot At Hurricane Irma’ that garnered interest from over 45,000 accounts.

“‘To clarify, DO NOT shoot weapons at Irma,’ the Twitter account of the Pasco County Sheriff’s office tweeted on Saturday night, just hours before the eye of the storm passed over the Florida Keys. ‘You won’t make it turn around & it will have very dangerous side effects.’ Bullets fired into a storm system like a hurricane can have unpredictable and potentially dangerous trajectories.”

It may seem unnecessary to persuade people not to shoot at a hurricane. But we’re talking about people who think the Second Amendment permits them to take up arms against fellow Americans. And that includes those serving in the police and military that they sometimes praise as heroes. There are no shortage of stories about NRA members who shoot themselves or other innocents for frighteningly stupid reasons. And every Independence Day these cretins fire into the air despite warnings and news of tragic consequences.

The Pasco Sheriff was correct to assume that a fair number of the thousands who joined the Facebook event might take it literally. Many people hold views that are no less absurd. There are those who believe that these hurricanes, and other natural disasters, are God’s punishment for homosexuality. And others are convinced that only the pagans will be swept away. This doesn’t even address all the mainstream Republicans who deny the effects of climate change and the science that predicted these massive weather events.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

That absence of reason can also infect gun owners who imagine that their bullets in large numbers will turn Irma around. In reality, it’s the bullets that can be turned around, and directly back toward the imbecile who fired it. The fact that a professional law enforcement officer finds it necessary to issue this warning is a sad statement on the state of our nation. But it’s better to make the warning than to regret the suffering after the fact.

Shades of Stephen Colbert: Republican National Committee Runs Most Ludicrous Poll Ever

Posted by on August 21, 2017 at 1:02 pm. NO Comments :

Things continue to go south for Donald Trump and his Republican Party. But could anyone have predicted this utterly asinine nonsense? This is an actual poll question sent by the RNC:


This is how desperate the GOP is to pump up their floundering president. They have resorted to a poll that doesn’t allow the respondent to register any criticism. That’s because Trump has to be treated like like a baby who has to be given constant positive reinforcement. There are actually White House aides who have to find stories that praise Trump and deliver them twice a day to the Infant-in-Chief.

This is so pathetic it’s hard to make fun of. Not only is Trump unfit for office, the GOP is enabling his narcissism. And in doing so they even ripped off a joke by Stephen Colbert, except they are taking it seriously.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Stephen Colbert Makes a Mind-Blowing Announcement While Guesting on Russian TV

Posted by on June 24, 2017 at 2:01 pm. 2 Comments :

Fans of Stephen Colbert may have noticed his mysterious disappearance this week. His Thursday and Friday broadcasts of Late Night were replaced with repeats without explanation. The scheduling change was peculiar considering all of the current events that would be ripe for Colbert’s brand of satire. But now it can be told where he was and what he was doing.

Stephen Colbert

A video of Colbert has surfaced (posted below) revealing that he was in Russia. He was making a guest appearance on “Evening Urgant,” a Russian talk show similar to the one Colbert hosts. Ivan Urgant interviewed Colbert and joined him in a round of vodka shots. Colbert graciously toasted his hosts saying:

“To the beautiful and friendly Russian people. I don’t understand why no members of the Trump administration can remember meeting you.”

That toast obviously went out to folks like Michael Flynn, Jeff Sessions, and Jared Kushner, who all seemed to have trouble recalling the meetings they had with Russian operatives. Colbert was surprised that they would forget such lovely people. Of course, most Americans would have no problem remembering having met with agents of a hostile foreign nation. For some reason, Donald Trump’s associates have no problem forgetting. Repeatedly.

During the course of the interview, Colbert interrupted Urgant and asked if he could make an announcement. His host courteously consented. So Colbert turned to the camera and, with a dead serious expression, said:

“I am here to announce that I am considering a run for president in 2020. And I thought it would be better to cut out the middle man and just tell the Russians myself. If anyone would like to work on my campaign, in an unofficial capacity, please just let me know.”

Colbert demonstrated his deft political sophistication by not bothering to wait until Russian spies captured and leaked this information. Why not just tell them personally? Although, for all we know Trump did the very same thing. With all of the contacts between Russians and his top advisers, they might have been working together to sink Hillary Clinton’s campaign. The only difference is that they collaborated in secret and lied about, while Colbert did it on live TV.

Urgant was happy to receive Colbert’s news. And he subtly noted that the Russian political machine that aided Trump would be at his disposal when the campaign began:

“It’s a pleasure to drink with the future U.S. President. To you, Stephen. I wish you luck. We will do everything we can so you become president.”

So there you have it. The fix is in. In three short years the United States may inaugurate its first Comedic-American president. The crass ceiling will be broken. Given the historically low approval ratings for Trump, Colbert’s ascendancy to the White House can only be an improvement. After all, his approval ratings, as measured by the Nielsen Company, place him at number one.

It’s too soon to know just when the next opening for a new president will occur. Trump is facing imminent peril for impeachment and prosecution for obstruction of justice and financial misconduct. But at the very latest, the next presidential election cycle for 2020 just might result in the inauguration of President Stephen Colbert. I can hardly wait.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Trump Makes a Big Mistake By Insulting Stephen Colbert. Gets Smacked Right in the Truthiness

Posted by on May 12, 2017 at 1:31 pm. NO Comments :

What is it about spoiled narcissists that makes them think they can out-snark professional comedians? On Thursday Donald Trump took time off from his Twitter tantrums to attack Stephen Colbert. Never mind that his presidency is up to its neck in criminal investigations and scandal. Or that serious issues like North Korea, healthcare, tax reform, terrorism, and climate change are pending. A comedian said something that Trump didn’t like and, dammit, that required the immediate attention of the President.

Stephen Colbert & Trump Baby

So Trump sprung into action with a forthright declaration of principle. It is certain to go down in history with Churchill’s “blood, sweat, and tears,” and Kennedy’s “ask what you can do for your country.” Trump mustered up all his rhetorical prowess to tell Time Magazine that:

“You see a no-talent guy like Colbert. There’s nothing funny about what he says. And what he says is filthy. And you have kids watching. And it only builds up my base. It only helps me, people like him.”

Where to begin? Colbert’s millions of fans might disagree with Trump’s assessment of him as a “no-talent guy”. And it appears that the only people who don’t think he’s funny are Trump and his cadre of glassy-eyed disciples. And if Trump really believes that people like Colbert are helping him, then why is he complaining? Shouldn’t he be encouraging more of what Colbert does so that he can get more of the benefit from it.

As for the filthiness of Colbert’s material, that complaint is cute coming from the pussy-grabber-in-chief. Not to mention that Trump is notorious for his own affinity for profanity. Who can forget when he told American business that they could “go f*ck themselves”? Or when he promised to “bomb the sh*t” out of ISIS? He wasn’t deterred by the fact that there were children in the audience.

Speaking of which, what kind of parent is Trump? He seems to think that America’s children are awake at 11:30pm watching television? Just because he watches TV constantly and behaves like a child doesn’t mean that actual children are staying up to catch Colbert. Most parents don’t let their kids stay up that late. But then again, most kids don’t act so immaturely. To be fair, Trump has to watch TV a lot, especially Fox News. That’s where he gets all of his policy ideas from.

But if you think Trump was through, you don’t know Trump. He continued his rant to further disparage Colbert and, of course, to exalt himself:

“The guy was dying, by the way. They were going to take him off television. Then he started attacking me and he started doing better. But his show was dying. I’ve done his show. But when I did his show, which by the way was very highly rated. It was high – highest rating. The highest rating he’s ever had.”

Huh? Trump just made the argument that Colbert wasn’t successful until the show starting attacking him. That’s evidence that America’s TV viewers were just waiting for someone to bash Trump. And when Colbert began doing so they rewarded him by becoming loyal viewers. Is that really the point Trump wants to make?

As for Trump’s claims about the ratings, he is just adding to his many previous bouts with delusion. There weren’t thousands of Muslims celebrating 9/11 in New Jersey. His inauguration didn’t have the largest attendance in history. And his appearance on The Late Show was not its highest rated show. In fact, as Colbert pointed out, a program with Jeb Bush as the featured guest rated higher. So did the premiere.

What all of this leads up to is Thursday night’s show where Colbert responded to Trump’s vacation from reality. And it was delicious. Colbert began by noting that Trump had addressed “the most important issue to him: this show.” Colbert’s reaction to being personally called out by the President was “YAY!” He regarded it as proof that he had won by finally getting Trump to say his name. And then he spoke directly to the President:

“Making jokes about you has been good for my ratings. It’s almost as if the majority of Americans didn’t want you to be president. […] You know who’s got really bad ratings these days? You do. Terrible approval numbers. I hear they’re thinking about switching your time slot with Mike Pence. And since all of my success is the result of talking about you, if you really want to take me down there’s an obvious way. Resign.”

Watch the segment here. But don’t laugh. He’s a no-talent guy who isn’t funny.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.