On Friday night the rescheduled White House Correspondents’ Association (WHCA) dinner took place in Washington, DC. It was a scaled down affair that was only held to prove that a violent protestor couldn’t shape the course of political discourse in America.
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Much of the event was dedicated to its primary purpose, which is to raise money for charity and to give awards for excellence in journalism and advocacy of free speech and the Constitution’s Fist Amendment. It served those purposes admirably. Then, unfortunately, it went on to feature an address by Donald Trump, who despises the Constitution and especially the First Amendment. He proceeded to make a fool of himself, and by extension, America, for which he has a renowned talent. Particularly with regard to the media.
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Trump spoke at length about his vanity ballroom. He bragged about supposedly coining the term “Dumocrat.” And naturally, he exalted himself as the only important person in the room, or the country, saying that “When I’m not around, you’re gonna be broke. There’s not gonna be anybody to report on. Nobody gives a damn about anybody else.” That’s why there is a picture of Trump in the dictionary under “Malignant Narcissism (see psychopath).”
The WHCA Dinner is known for featuring humorous speakers, including the president. But Trump was struggling from start. After getting no laughs for a line about a Senator’s wife who told him “‘I want to have you immediately come up the stairs and make love to me.’ And he said, ‘I can’t do both,'” Trump complained “That was actually the only thing I thought was good in this whole frickin’ stupid speech that they wrote.”
Shortly thereafter he asked “Does anybody understand this stuff?” At another point Trump set up an insult/joke about Illinois Governor JB Pritzker (who he called the governor of Chicago) and Rep. Jerry Nadler, saying that they were “fighting for a big fat piece of cheesecake.” When no one laughed at that he asked “Who the hell wrote that line?”
By every indication, it seems that Trump wrote that line, and most of the rest of the speech that even he thought was bombing. It was comprised of rehashed insults that Trump has been disgorging for years. And the targets of his trash-talk were the same people he has been repeatedly maligning at his MAGA rallies to the thrills of his cult disciples. There was little if anything new. What follows are some of the retreads he laid out Friday night for the journalists who have heard it all at least 100 times.
“Before I came along, if you wanted to see someone lose consciousness on the South Lawn of the White House, all you had to do is ask Joe Biden a question.”
“I can exclusively reveal to you this evening that for the heaviest of the heavyweights, we will have sloppy Chris Christie.”
“We had a contest for who had the lowest ratings and the lowest IQ on television. And that was actually Don Lemon.”
“What about Bruce Springsteen? What the hell happened to that guy? He looks like hell…I don’t look so bad…The tour has been renamed Bored in the USA.
“This year the association decided not to have a comedian, so they considered using Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon. These guys, they’re terrible. They’re terrible. Stephen Colbert. These are people without talent…They’re not funny people. They’re angry people. They’re sick people.”
“They thought about going with a professional clown for entertainment, but Adam Shifty Schiff was not available…He’s a liar. And I called him Watermelon Head.”
“Then I’m told that even Rosie O’Donnell reached out from Ireland…she’s one of the greatest sufferers of Trump derangements.”
“I want to personally congratulate CNN’s Kaitlyn Collins on receiving her award. It was all about me. It’s a fake. She shouldn’t get the award. It was a fake…But she’s a young, attractive woman. She never smiles…I informed her that it wasn’t her on the Bud Light can. It was Dylan Mulvaney.”
“I’m very disappointed they didn’t bring Fake Tapper.”
“I was disappointed that Gavin Newsom didn’t show up…He’s incapable of reading a speech. He’s a low-IQ person.”
“Ilhan Omar, one of my favorites, and her brother are thinking about moving together…she’s a low IQ person, and she’s also a very dishonest person, and she ought to get the hell out of our country.”
“We invited Elizabeth Pocahontas, Warren. She’s referred to Pocahontas.”
“I wanted to make sure that Jack Smith, deranged Jack Smith…this guy was a deranged lunatic.”
“Chuck Schumer, cryin’ Chuck…he’s a proud, very proud Palestinian.”
“In Texas the Democrats are running a candidate named James Talefreako [Talarico], who hates guns, hates oil, hates sex, hates women, and who said he is a Christian who hates Christianity.”
And remember, those are supposed to be jokes. Trump was scheduled to speak for 40 minutes, but true to form, he went on tediously for more than an hour. Aside from the above attempts at “humor,” Trump’s speech was jampacked with incoherent rambling and nonsensical lies. In other words, it was exactly like every other speech Trump has given in the past ten years. And even he thought it sucked.
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