Day: 6/9/2013

The Road To Obscurity: Conservative Conference Taps Palin, West, Bachmann, Trump

Posted by on June 9, 2013 at 11:58 am. 10 Comments :

Ralph Reed’s Faith & Freedom Coalition is hosting a conference in Washington, D.C. this week with the optimistic title “Road To Majority 2013.”

Road to Majority

Taking a glance at the list of guest speakers reveals the strategic direction of the right’s plans to assume a majority position in the coming months. They have embraced what they must believe are the leading lights of conservatism who are imbued with the values around which the American people will rally. Here are some of the beloved figures that contributed so much to last year’s election season and inspired so many voters to turn out for President Romney:

  • Sarah Palin: Half-term governor, failed VP candidate.
  • Donald Trump: Bankrupt billionaire, TV game show host.
  • Rand Paul: Confederate advocate, Civil Rights Act opponent.
  • Allen West: Disgraced soldier, one-term congressional nutcase.
  • Jeb Bush: W’s little brother, dynastic has-been.
  • Paul Ryan: Failed VP candidate, P90X pitchman.
  • Herman Cain: Pizza mogul, Ambassador to Uzbeckibeckistanstan.
  • Rick Santorum: Rich frothy…oh never mind.
  • Dick Morris: Most erroneous pundit, prostitute toe-sucker.
  • Michele Bachmann: Tea Party queen, Islamaphobe.
  • Pat Robertson: God’s personal spokesman.
  • John Bolton: UN hating UN ambassador.

With a cast like that, this conference is bound to be a big hit with the Teabagger contingent. It is the sort of forward-looking roster that will surely appeal to the voters the GOP has been so anxious to attract. Young people, Latinos, women, etc., will flock to the broad range of new ideas from these cutting edge thinkers who have demonstrated their ability to succeed.

If this is the best that the right can do, they are going to have an even more embarrassing election debacle in 2014 than they did in 2012. It’s as if the GOP has completely given up. Collections of losers like these are a gift to Democrats who are all too happy for Americans to make them the faces of the Republican Party. The best thing that can happen now is for Fox News to give the conference a big chunk of airtime. Stay tuned.