Day: 8/2/2013

Due To Drug Shortage, Texas To Start Outsourcing Executions To Somalia

Posted by on August 2, 2013 at 4:00 pm. 10 Comments :

The Associated Press is reporting today that a shortfall in the availability of the sedative pentobarbital will put a crimp in the calendar of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice and it’s scheduling of executions.

The Texas Department of Criminal Justice said Thursday that its remaining supply of pentobarbital expires in September and that no alternatives have been found. “We will be unable to use our current supply of pentobarbital after it expires,” agency spokesman Jason Clark said. “We are exploring all options at this time.”

Rick Perry
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The state of Texas has led the nation in executions by a wide margin since the Supreme Court allowed executions to resume in 1976. Since then Texas has executed 503 inmates. The next highest number was in Virginia with a mere 110.

The availability of the pentobarbital is rapidly depleting due to the death cult fetishism of the Texan government that makes it hard for supply to keep up with demand. The problem is exacerbated by the reluctance of pharmaceutical manufacturers to provide their products for use in ceremonial rituals of cold-blooded murder. And since Texas no longer has an electric chair or a gas chamber, their alternatives are sharply narrowed.

Consequently, Texas governor Rick Perry is in talks with a number of prominent Somali war lords who have the resources to fulfill the state’s ever growing need to produce fresh corpses. The negotiations involve setting up procedures to transport inmates to the African nation where the authorities will disburse them to various factions of the Taliban or Al Qaeda for termination. In exchange, the Somalis get critical practice assassinating Americans, which they can put to use in future terrorist campaigns. It’s a win-win scenario for two parties who have the same objectives: killing large numbers of American citizens.

Other alternatives under consideration include stoning inmates in the prison yard; forcing them to consume large amounts pork rinds and bacon-cheeseburgers; fitting them with Obama masks and releasing them outside of Waco; inviting them to go quail hunting with Dick Cheney; and for black inmates, good old-fashioned lynchings (they’ll never have to worry about running out of rope).

Whatever course of action they settle on, you can rest assured that Texas will not allow their leadership in this field of endeavor to lapse. Texas is bound and determined to remain the execution champs for years to come. Even if it means resorting to overdoses of Viagra, which the menfolk of Texas still have in abundant quantities.

Fast Food Fight: The Daily Show’s John Oliver Deep Fries Fox News

Posted by on August 2, 2013 at 10:25 am. 2 Comments :

Fox News / McDonalds

“They sell you something that looks appetizing, but leaves you feeling nauseous for hours afterwards.” ~John Oliver on Fox News

That’s how John Oliver described the similarities between Fox News and the fast food industry. In an epic take-down of Fox (video below), Oliver brilliantly exposed the selfishness, hypocrisy, and stupidity, of the network’s upper-crusty pundits’ callous attitude toward working people who have the gall to rally for a living wage.

The segment features multiple Fox scrooges insisting that workers should be grateful to have any job and stop whining about how toiling full-time in harsh conditions doesn’t provide sufficient compensation to feed and house their families. Oliver notes the risks associated with a multi-billion dollar international conglomerate fairly compensating their employees:

“If you raise the minimum wage. people will never stop working in the fast food industry. They’ll get so comfortable in the hot kitchens, in their acrylic uniforms, relaxing in that grease fog, smelling like processed meat no matter how many showers they take.”

But the real victim of Oliver’s harangue was Fox’s VP of financial news, Neil Cavuto, who bragged about his own youthful experience as a fast food employee. Cavuto touted the opportunities for advancement and months of success he enjoyed slinging fish and chips. Unfortunately, he also demonstrated how ill-equipped he is to be commenting on financial matters. In his fanciful flashback he noted that “it all started at two bucks an hour.” But as Mother Jones reported…

“[T]he math makes the opposite point Cavuto intended — adjusted for inflation, he made a lot more money as a teenager than the fast food employees who walked off their jobs in seven US cities this week. […] $2.22 per hour more than the current federal minimum wage.”

So, there goes Cavuto’s argument against raising the minimum wage. And he set himself up for Oliver to make the astute observation that, “Working at Arthur Treacher’s was the last job Neil Cavuto was qualified for.” Of course, Cavuto is the Glenn Beck of business news. He engages in non-stop, brazenly partisan, propagandizing on behalf of the conservative agenda of his network bosses, Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch. Cavuto is a Tea Party boosting, climate science denying, harbinger of economic Armageddon.