Due To Drug Shortage, Texas To Start Outsourcing Executions To Somalia

The Associated Press is reporting today that a shortfall in the availability of the sedative pentobarbital will put a crimp in the calendar of the Texas Department of Criminal Justice and it’s scheduling of executions.

The Texas Department of Criminal Justice said Thursday that its remaining supply of pentobarbital expires in September and that no alternatives have been found. “We will be unable to use our current supply of pentobarbital after it expires,” agency spokesman Jason Clark said. “We are exploring all options at this time.”

Rick Perry
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The state of Texas has led the nation in executions by a wide margin since the Supreme Court allowed executions to resume in 1976. Since then Texas has executed 503 inmates. The next highest number was in Virginia with a mere 110.

The availability of the pentobarbital is rapidly depleting due to the death cult fetishism of the Texan government that makes it hard for supply to keep up with demand. The problem is exacerbated by the reluctance of pharmaceutical manufacturers to provide their products for use in ceremonial rituals of cold-blooded murder. And since Texas no longer has an electric chair or a gas chamber, their alternatives are sharply narrowed.

Consequently, Texas governor Rick Perry is in talks with a number of prominent Somali war lords who have the resources to fulfill the state’s ever growing need to produce fresh corpses. The negotiations involve setting up procedures to transport inmates to the African nation where the authorities will disburse them to various factions of the Taliban or Al Qaeda for termination. In exchange, the Somalis get critical practice assassinating Americans, which they can put to use in future terrorist campaigns. It’s a win-win scenario for two parties who have the same objectives: killing large numbers of American citizens.

Other alternatives under consideration include stoning inmates in the prison yard; forcing them to consume large amounts pork rinds and bacon-cheeseburgers; fitting them with Obama masks and releasing them outside of Waco; inviting them to go quail hunting with Dick Cheney; and for black inmates, good old-fashioned lynchings (they’ll never have to worry about running out of rope).

Whatever course of action they settle on, you can rest assured that Texas will not allow their leadership in this field of endeavor to lapse. Texas is bound and determined to remain the execution champs for years to come. Even if it means resorting to overdoses of Viagra, which the menfolk of Texas still have in abundant quantities.


10 thoughts on “Due To Drug Shortage, Texas To Start Outsourcing Executions To Somalia

  1. You sure we can’t outsource the governor while we’re at it? Oh, and be sure to take Mr. Obama’s predecessor with him…

  2. This is really not funny. I don’t care if I’m on the side of the left. Humor CAN be taken too far.

    • Kathy – I like to call them not pro-life… but anti-choice or pro-birth… which labels them more true to their nature.

      When someone starts in with me about being anti-choice/pro-birth, I tell them, fine, we can have all the kids birthed you want no more abortions. ONLY IF, you start a list of those who don’t want women to choose (them for example), and when those women have the kid, they can give it to you and you can pay all the medical bills for them as well. I tell them, it’s not like they want to abort, sometimes they don’t have the means to raise them so they have little choice.

      See how fast they start yammering, or say they would take a kid. Then if they say yes, then I tell them let’s start petitioning our politicians for it then. They never get back to me on that… 🙂

  3. I don’t think this was taken too far. It’s actually quite appropriate, given the political climate in Texas.

  4. I thought Texas was moving to a direct injection of Texas Pete straight into the heart. There’s plenty of that stuff lying around.

  5. Yeah, it would be unethical to use out of date expired execution drugs on the doomed prisoners! Maybe they will just step up the schedule so they can get them all offed before the drugs expire!

  6. Wow, they have killed 503 murderers, and not a word about the 52 MILLION babies killed by lazy fornicators! Think about your ignorance prior to publishing it.

    • Don’t worry. I think about ignorance every time I get ridiculously unrelated comments like yours.

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