Where In The World Is Glenn Beck?

The past couple of weeks saw Glenn Beck take his Acute Paranoia Revue on the road. He appeared in Israel where he complained that he was losing a million dollars staging a silly affair that purported to “Restore Courage” to ….. something or other. And from there he embarked on a worldwide adventure wherein he was all but invisible. Can you find him?

Where Is Glenn Beck

After making grandiose, narcissistic declarations that the event would change the course of the world, the planet still appears to be on the same orbit. There was no pillar of fire. No gates of Heaven and/or Hell opening. However, there was a miracle, as imagined in the mind of Beck. Just like last year’s “Restoring Honor” event in Washington, D.C. when Beck asserted that a flock of geese constituted a miracle from God, the Israel rally’s miracle was that an unscheduled singer was able to be squeezed into a tightly scripted program at the last minute. That’s not a joke. Beck insisted that that was an actual miracle from God. By that measure I, myself, was the beneficiary of divine intervention a couple of days ago when God caused a new lane to open at a busy grocery store just as I was approaching the check-out area. Praise the Lord!

In his speech from Israel, Beck announced the remainder of his travel itinerary. The first place he would venture post-Israel would be Cape Town, South Africa. His reason for choosing that destination was “to remind the world what the evil of apartheid actually looked like.”

There is precious little evidence that Beck was in Cape Town. He held no rallies and made no public appearances. There were no interviews with the local press. All there was was a broadcast to his U.S. radio affiliates wherein he said he was in Cape Town and that…

“Apartheid is going to play a role in the conversation of the world again, but they’re going to blame Israel for Apartheid and we’re here to set the record straight on what Apartheid was and what it is and is it happening in Israel or not. […] By the way, Apartheid solved in South Africa peacefully. We should figure out how South Africa did that. Huh?”

Apartheid solved Peacefully? Beck knows less about South African history than he does about U.S. history. South Africa was a hotbed of violence perpetrated by a racist regime. The resistance to the government oppression was led by Nelson Mandela’s African National Congress, which the regime regarded as a terrorist organization. Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years. Heroic comrades like Stephen Biko were assassinated. In 1976 a peaceful student protest in Soweto was met by police aggression and resulted in the deaths of 600 protesters. The government’s reign of terror included the arrest and torture of tens of thousands of black Africans.

In his Cape Town broadcast, Beck slammed Mandela as a communist with whom he disagreed on everything. The parallels between his views on Mandela and his views on the revolutions in Egypt, Libya, etc., are striking. He regards all of these uprisings as ominous acts of evil inspired by radical leftists. There is an irony in Beck traveling to South Africa from Israel in that Israel was, to its shame, a supporter of the Apartheid regime. Then Again, so was the American president, and right-wing idol, Ronald Reagan. Based on the available evidence, Beck, too, would have stood with South Africa’s white leadership against the commie hoards from the black homelands.

From Cape Town Beck reportedly went to Venezuela. As Beck tells it, he was denied permission to land by Hugo Chavez, but he found an alternate means of entry into the country. Once again, there is no evidence that he ever set foot in Venezuela or anywhere else in South America. He had previously announced that he would be speaking “to a group of nearly 5,000 local leaders from all over the continent.” If there were a public event of that size it would surely have been reported somewhere. And why have there been no accounts of the event by any of the alleged attendees? Including Beck! His own web site says nothing about his supposed stay in Venezuela.

Finally, Beck headed home to Texas where he delivered a sermon at the High Point Church in Arlington. This is a date that he managed keep. There is an article about it on his web site along with an audio recording of his address. The sermon was typical Beck fare pontificating on his moral superiority and the need to stand (Beck is the nation’s foremost adversary of sitting). He announced that the Human Rights Movement was over and that his Human Responsibility Movement would replace it. With respect to that he introduced his “Declaration of Responsibilities,” all of which he has already personally broken.

Beck is going to have to work harder if he is going to satisfy his insatiable lust for adulation. None of the events on his travels produced much in the way of publicity. Even Fox News ignored him. He is already grumbling about the lack of attention paid by the media. Which is funny because he used to do nothing but bash the press, but now he is desperate for it to notice him again. If this keeps up, expect Beck to escalate his rhetoric and declare war on San Francisco or pronounce himself the Messiah. Short of that he will next be seen crawling under a stone that no one will bother to roll away.

[Update] On his radio program today, Beck said that he had addressed 1,400 rabbis in Cape Town and 5,000 pastors in Venezuela. And still there are no accounts by media or participants of these events. Still, Beck’s web sites have no stories about them. I’m beginning to think the Israel rally was done on a green-screen.


8 thoughts on “Where In The World Is Glenn Beck?

  1. Where in the world is Glenn Beck? A cave?

    “Master betrayed us. Wicked. Tricksy, False. We ought to wring his filthy little neck.

    And then we take the precious… and we be the master!”

    Sorry, couldn’t resist. Saw the film last night and experienced involuntary thoughts of Beck and company.

    “Under a stone” will do nicely.

  2. the need to stand (Beck is the nation’s foremost adversary of sitting)

    Of course he is. It’s exceptionally uncomfortable to sit down with one’s head inserted that far into one’s rectum… ;)

  3. Which would least prefer to be built next to your house?

    A. A Mosque.
    B. A Glenn Beck museum.
    C. A nuclear power plant.

    Explain your decision.

    • Obviously “B”

      I like living in a serene, residential neighborhood where I can take leisurely walks, visit with neighbors, and relax after a hard day at work.

      A nuclear power plant certainly would not fit in to that. It would be a giant, unattractive, industrial facility with hundreds of employees, increased traffic, and, of course, the risk of radiation through leaks or accidents.

      A mosque would also produce more traffic with worshipers attending services all the time.

      A Glenn Beck museum, however, would provide the peace and quiet I desire because…who would go to it? It would be a vacant building with no exhibits or patrons. Except for the occasional Tea Partier, but most of them would get lost looking for it on their GPS and end up at a Wal-Mart 20 miles away.

  4. Beck left the scene, because ya all pushed him off the scene.

    You cant prove anything he said about you Commies was wrong.

    Prove their isnt one.

    • Prove there isn’t one? Oh god…..I…don’t know if I can handle it anymore…..double face palm for every other comment from righties….how long will my quest for truth tolerate such incredible displays of human stupidity?? HOW LONG HAVE I GOT LEFT?!? AW GOD!!

      Seriously, that’s kind of a stupid thing to say mj. Next time, say ‘Disprove all this evidence in favor of’ and then lay out all your evidence.

      • Don’t hurt yourself, Des. Try to preserve your facepalms for the real stupidity of the GOP candidates.

  5. Aww shucks…now ya dont have your whipping by no mo.

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