The Fox News Professor of Practical Dementia delivered a particularly thought provoking lecture today on his radio university. I dare you to make sense of it:

Glenn Beck: This is the oldest argument in the progressive movement. It is the argument between, not state capitalism, because this isn’t capitalism.

This is a new sort of capitalism. No it’s not! It is socialism. No, it’s state capitalism. No it’s not! Put the Thesaurus down. It is socialism, not capitalism.

And when you say “state” you mean “national.” National Socialism. That is what Mussolini and Hitler did. National Socialism. State Capitalism. They’ve changed the name.

Notice that Beck never actually tells us what the old progressive argument is. He just wonders off to build some sort of imaginary bridge between progressives and Nazis.

Let me take a stab at it. In this utterly incoherent rant, I think Beck is attempting to argue that the word “state” is synonymous with the word “national,” and the word “capitalism” is synonymous with the word “socialism.” Really? Don’t stop to think about it. Just keep listening.

Beck continues by saying that if you replace the word “state” in “State Capitalism” with the word “national,” and then replace the word “capitalism” with “socialism,” you have “National Socialism,” or, as they are better known, Nazis.

All of this is somehow associated with progressives who advocate neither State Capitalism nor National Socialism. Again, I implore you, don’t stop to think about it. Just accept that progressives are Nazis by virtue of Beck’s word replacement exercise.

Now try it yourself at home. Take any phrase, i.e. “Furry Kitten.” Now replace the word “furry” with “national,” and the word “kitten” with “socialism.” There you have it.

Unassailable evidence that furry kittens are Nazis.