If you encounter Glenn Beck in public be very careful what you say. There is a strong likelihood that he will turn it into maudlin sniveling about the travails of his own victimhood.

That’s what happened this weekend when Beck claims that he was nearly lynched by a crowd of movie-goers in Manhattan. Beck relates a tale wherein he, his wife, and his daughter, was verbally accosted while laying on a blanket in Bryant Park to watch a free screening (socialists?) of Hitchcock’s “The 39 Steps.” Allegedly there was also a spilled beverage in the melee. See? It was almost exactly like a lynching. And this is the lesson that Beck would have you learn from his tribulation:

“I have to beg you that if you ever find yourself on a blanket, or in a restaurant, or anyplace next to a guy that you vehemently disagree with – be it Van Jones or Michael Moore, it doesn’t matter – don’t kick your beverage on them.”

Excellent advice! Beverages are off-limits as weapons in public disputes. Surely we are better than this. In fact, just heed this prior lesson from a previous Beck Sermon for guidance:

“Let me just tell you what I’m thinking. I’m thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I’m wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out.”

That was from Beck’s radio show on May 17, 2008. A few months later he told a similar story about an unpleasant encounter he had with the public. On that occasion a trucker in a Wendy’s was not particularly pleased to make Beck’s acquaintance. In both of these stories Beck uses Michael Moore as an example of his tolerance despite his professed desire to murder Moore with his bare hands.

It’s touching to hear Beck speak of his innate humanity and his concern for his family’s welfare. Too bad he doesn’t have the same concern for his ideological enemies whom he regards as evil, as cancers that must be cut-out, and who cannot be stopped except by shooting them in the head.

[Update] It seemed odd that with hundreds of other moviegoers in the park there wasn’t a single person to corroborate Beck’s story. And although Beck said everyone was taking pictures of him and his family, there were no pictures of any disturbance. Well, now a witness has come forward and given her account of the incident to New York Magazine. Here’s an excerpt:

“It was my friend that spilled the glass of wine on Tanya -and I can assure you that it was a complete accident. A happy one, to be sure, but nonetheless a complete and utter accident. As soon as the wine spilled (and I question how Tanya became soaked from a half glass of wine) apologies were made and my friends pretty much scrambled to give Tanya & co napkins -no doubt aware that it would look terrible and that their actions could be perceived as purposeful. No words were exchanged after that, as I think that it became pretty clear to Beck & co that my friends and I were doing everything in our capacity to help clean the ‘mess.'”

Gee, who would have thought that Glenn Beck would lie through his teeth and accuse others of being hateful – an activity he seems to want to keep exclusively to himself.