Here We Go Again: Fox News’ War On Christmas Lunacy Returns

It happens every year at this time. Chestnuts roast over open fires; Jack Frost nips at your nose; and Fox News declares that there is a “War on Christmas” that only they can see.

Fox News War on Christmas

Of all the phony stories that Fox News can invent, this is one of the silliest. This a nation in which a sizable majority is Christian. And many who are not also celebrate the Christmas holiday out of convenience. It is a national holiday for which most people, Christian or not, get the day off of work. Every store in America features Christmas sales with products designed for the holiday. Christmas decorations adorn homes, restaurants, offices, lampposts, and anything else that tinsel can be wrapped around. And amid this all-consuming, orgy of Candy Cane colors and Bing Crosby tunes, Fox News still thinks that Christmas is facing some sort of hostile threat.

Never mind that there is good reason for many Americans to feel slighted by the rampant yuletiding going on all around them. Jews don’t get a national holiday. There are no Muslim films scheduled to run non-stop for eight weeks on thirty different TV channels. Hindus and Buddhists and even Unitarians have to fend for themselves. And don’t even bring up atheists.

Nevertheless, the War on Christmas is something that seems to dominate the Fox News Channel every year despite having no evidence that any war is in progress, except against all of the non-Christians. And if it weren’t enough that Fox is once again ranting over a non-existent war, take alook at what else they are railing about as this holiday season commences:

Fox News Doomsday

Yep, that’s a real thing. “Countdown to Doomsday.” Fox News Reporting is covering this vital subject beginning this Wednesday. They are outraged over a made up war on Christmas, but they are producing specials about an expired Mayan calendar. They are committing their awesome journalistic assets to uncover the truth about an alleged Mayan prediction of the demise of planet Earth. Mark my words, brothers and sisters, Fox will get to the bottom of this and declare it to be an ancient hoax. They will firmly denounce any possibility that a civilization from the past can accurately prophesy the end of the world in an apocalyptic holocaust.

Oh wait a minute. I guess there is one ancient civilization’s prophesy of an apocalyptic holocaust with which Fox concurs. And that’s the one that is at war with … someone, maybe the Mayans.

One Term And Out: Allen West Finally Concedes Loss

Allen West (R-Whackjob), has finally given up his quixotic legal charades and conceded to Congressman-elect Patrick Murphy of Florida.

Allen West

In a rambling whine to the press, West complained that the election was fraught with corruption and wrapped his concession in a lame excuse, saying…

“Our legal team does not believe there are enough over-counted, undercounted or fraudulent votes to change the outcome of the election.”

Getting out our West-to-English dictionary reveals that the translation is: “We didn’t work hard enough on getting out our fraudulent vote.”

There is already much speculation on what West will do next. After being tossed out of the Army (and nearly court martialed) for malfeasance while serving in Iraq, and then being tossed out of congress for being a nut case who called his Democratic colleagues communists, his prospects are fairly narrow. What it comes down to is either a gig at Fox News or a talk radio show. He could also try a congressional comeback in a different district, or take up residency at a think tank. Ordinarily a think tank job would require being able to think, but that wouldn’t be the case for any of the right-wing organizations that would consider West.

Whatever West may chose to do in future, at least he will be unable to cast votes for the loony legislation that the Tea Party caucus in the House has been peddling. Perhaps he could join up with his fellow losers (Joe Walsh, Todd Akin, Richard Mourdock, Linda McMahon, etc.) and form a support group for delusional ex-candidates.