Brilliant Breitbart Investigation Exposes: The Plot To Eat LUNCH!

Breitbart News appears to be angling to overtake The Onion as the funniest Internet site. Unfortunately for them, they aren’t doing it on purpose.

The geniuses at Breitbart News blasted out a shocking expose today that threatens to blow the lid off of Obama’s Justice Department. After an investigation that included the filing of numerous Freedom of Information Act requests concerning “questionable behavior by agency personnel” and their relationship with the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), Breitbart’s crack team of reporters (or is that team of reporters on crack?) published the shocking results of their investigation.

Breitbart News

The DOJ had invited Morris Dees, founder of the SPLC, to speak at a Diversity Training Event. Dees was a particularly appropriate choice to address the group because of the SPLC’s long record of fighting bigots and hate groups and advocating for, and teaching, racial tolerance. The SPLC has also worked with both federal and local police agencies to identify racist individuals and groups who engage in criminal activities.

What Breitbart found, via their pals at the right-wing legal group, Judicial Watch, was a batch of emails that revealed … well, see for yourself (cut and paste from Breitbart News):

  • May 3, 2012 email – “We would like to tape the [Morris Dees] remarks and, at the same time, out Morris real time on the DOJ system can watch from their desks. Is that okay with Morris?”
  • June 27, 2012 – “Let me know Morris’ air schedule so I can pick him up at airport and plan an evening for us if he stays over.”
  • July 11, 2012 – “I will be at National in my [REDACTED] in which he has ridden before … I can arrange dinner. If he has a preference in DC where he wants to eat … tell him to let me know his druthers.”
  • July 16, 2012 – “The AAG’s office want to take Morris out to lunch before the 1:30 pm July 31 remarks … I’d pick Morris up at his hotel at 11:30 am if that worked for him.”
  • July 23, 2012 – “I will pick you [Morris Dees] up at the airport July 30. Would you go out to dinner with my wife and me and our two teenage daughters that first night? The girls need some inspiration from a master of inspiration.”

That’s it. Really! The DOJ communicated with a guest speaker to arrange airport transportation and meals. And for this Breitbart seems to think that prison, or perhaps waterboarding, would be warranted.

This article, written by former “Moonie” Washington Times reporter Kerry Picket, castigated the SPLC as an “attack group” and complained about them allegedly “labeling organizations with conservative views on social issues as ‘hate groups.’” However, it is hardly the SPLC’s fault that many so conservative groups are so often found to be bleating overt hate-speech. The SPLC carefully documents every allegation they make and they are respected by the nation’s foremost experts on organized bigotry.

This is another example of the BreitBrats simply targeting an ideological opponent and, lacking any evidence of actual wrongdoing, manufactures an imaginary outrage with which to regale their easily misled audience. But when the pickings are so slim that they are reduced to fanning a scandal comprised of dining reservations, you just have to laugh. It doesn’t get much more pathetic than this.

Al Gore Hurts Fox News’ Feelings, So Fox Bashes Current TV Sale Again

This morning on Fox & Friends, the kindergarten crew welcomed Rupert Murdoch’s personal attorney, Peter Johnson, Jr. (the man with three euphemisms for penis in his name), to engage in yet another round of bashing Al Gore for selling his Current TV network to Al Jazeera.

Fox News

In this episode, Johnson demonstrated an embarrassingly poor ability to make a cogent argument, which should worry his client Rupert who is engaged in numerous legal entanglements related to the News Corp hacking scandal in the UK.

Fox’s Gretchen Carlson introduced the segment with a video clip of Gore commenting on Fox News and right-wing talk radio, saying “The fact that we have 24/7 propaganda masquerading as news, it does have an impact.” It was that swipe at Fox that prompted this rehashing of old news. And rather than try to dispute the obvious truth of Gore’s comment, Johnson launched into his harangue about Gore permitting a news enterprise based in the oil-producing nation of Qatar to buy his network, thus affirming Fox’s status as The Whiniest ‘News’ Network Ever:

Johnson: This is the ultimate Lear Jet liberal who’s lost his mind. He is richer though. They made a half billion dollars on it. And you know the reason he said it’s a good sale? “I’m not gonna sell to Glenn Beck. I’m not gonna sell to American media folks. I am gonna sell to Al Jazeera. You know why? Because they’re the best at discussing climate change.” That’s like saying “I’m gonna sell it to the NRA because they’re the best at discussing gun control.”

Setting aside the fact that Johnson thinks Gore, who just made $100,000,000, has lost his mind, the case he is making defies logic. If it is, as Johnson says, like selling to the NRA who cannot report objectively on guns because they are proponents of guns, then Johnson is asserting that Current cannot sell to Al Jazeera and expect objective reporting on climate change because Al Jazeera is a proponent of climate reform measures. Except that Johnson just got finished criticizing the sale because Al Jazeera’s oil-rich Qatari base would oppose such measures.

So which is it? Is Gore a hypocrite for selling an environmentally conscious network to a bunch of fossil fuel fanatics? Or is he handing off his company to a news outlet that is going to advocate for alternative energy rather than cover the issue objectively? Johnson wants to characterize Al Jazeera as beholden to oil interests and biased against them at the same time. And he has the nerve to say that Gore has lost his mind?

It’s bad enough that Fox News is the public relations arm of the Republican Party. And it’s all the worse that they brazenly lie to fulfill that role. But do they have to be so staggeringly stupid while they’re at it?