The hypersensitive crybabies at Fox News have found something new to whine about. It’s not they have exhausted their obsession with demonizing Latinos and Muslims and women, or that they are tiring of the War on Christmas and other Christianist rhetoric (supremacy). It’s just another avenue of outrage for them to venture down as they seek to spread right-wing propaganda.

Roger Ailes, the CEO of Fox News, is complaining about a comedy pilot being considered by ABC. According to Adweek, the program “stars Kal Penn as a journalist who aspires to work for NPR, but instead takes a job at a cable news network that resembles Fox News Channel.” The working title for the show is “Fair and Balanced.” And that’s all it took to rile up the hilarious Mr. Ailes, who doesn’t think the idea for this show is very funny.

Clearly upset, Ailes told Adweek that “They ought to call it an attempt at liberal comedy which will fail.” That’s pretty funny Roger, and a sterling example of your brilliant sense of humor. That must be why Fox News has recently been trying to transform itself into a full-fledged comedy network. Why not? They certainly suck at news. And Ailes knows what he’s talking about on the subject failing comedy. Just think back to his attempted Daily Show rip-off, “The Half-Hour News Hour.” It lasted less than one season amid scathing reviews and universal ridicule. But all of this unintentional humor was still not as funny as this:

Ailes: People tried to poke at this, and the whole Fair and Balanced concept. They wouldn’t know fair and balanced if it hit them in the ass with a fish.

Having sufficiently embarrassed himself with regard to comedy, Ailes is now reverting to the safety of his defense of Fox News as being “fair and balanced.” Indeed, the network’s slogan has been the subject of relentless ridicule, for good reason. Most cognitively functional human beings laugh hysterically at the notion. Fox News is about as fair as a carnival game of ring toss and about as balanced as Charlie Sheen.

So where does Ailes go from here? He calls out his legal beagles to attack the “poor dumb bastards” at ABC. And after threatening to sue for infringement of his allegedly trademarked slogan, Ailes compounds his threat with a typically juvenile taunt saying “I’ve got 24 hours a day to trash ABC programming. You guys can’t program your way out of the men’s room.” If he really believed that, then why is he so disturbed by the prospect of a program he’s certain will fail?

This isn’t the first time that Ailes has released his legal hounds on someone who had the audacity to use the words “fair” and “balanced” in a project satirizing Fox. Sen. Al Franken, prior to his election, wrote a book titled “Lies: And the Lying Liars Who Tell Them,” with the subtitle “A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.” Fox News promptly filed a lawsuit against Franken that was literally laughed out of court. You might say that Ailes got himself “hit in the ass with a fish.” Fish-slapping, of course, is a time-honored staple of comedy, as demonstrated here by the masters, Monty Python:

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.