Here’s a logic puzzle for you: What comes next in this list?
Donald Trump, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich…
Of course, it’s former Saturday Night Live bimbo Victoria Jackson, who is continuing her performance as the greatest comedy hoax of all time. There is simply no way that what she has been doing and saying can be real. The only place her antics could be taken seriously would a Republican primary debate. In fact, if she were to announce her candidacy today she would probably be the next front-runner within days.
Jackson’s latest project (video below) is an Internet talk show that aspires to be a right-wing version of The View. In the debut episode Jackson shines with her Dadaist comedic stylings. She gets the show rolling with her song about Muslims that casts them as bloodthirsty pedophiles. The ensuing conversation leads to the shared conclusion that “all Muslims are not terrorists but all terrorists are Muslims. That’s just a fact.”
Jackson is quick to point out that she loves Muslims, she just hates what they believe. It’s her Christian faith that requires that she love these people whom she regards as mass murderers. What’s more, she simply can’t understand “why liberals are pro-Muslim and pro-gay, because Muslims kill gays.” I supposed she is similarly confused as to why conservatives are anti-Muslim and anti-gay, for the same reason. The truth about liberals, however, is that they are pro-Constitution, and they know that American Muslims are no more likely to kill gays than extremist, Republican evangelicals like Jackson.
The happy talk continued with Jackson almost opining on matters ranging from Obama’s support for “the thing built on ground zero” [a mosque], to meat preparation “like how Jews do” [keeping Kosher]. This open and freewheeling discussion then turned to the subject of free speech, which Jackson and her co-panelist lamented as having been abolished decades ago:
Jackson: It used to be America, you could say whatever you want. Now everyone can say what you want except if you love the country and God and the family.
Ann-Marie Murrell: If you’re conservative you basically have to shut up and listen and let them say whatever they want. That’s the way it’s been for about 40 years now.
Exactly. Which is why everything they just said has been banned and cannot be heard by anyone, and warrants have been issued for their arrest. Neither can anyone hear their complaints about gay marriage because it infringes on the rights of others. For example, the churches that would be forced to perform marriage ceremonies for same-sex couples. Of course, that isn’t true, but how could Jackson know that. Her research ability has been hobbled by a recent startling and terrifying discovery:
“I just found out that Snopes is owned by George Soros.”
Uh oh. Now where will she go to get the truth about rumors she reads in anonymous chain emails? Rumors like Snopes being owned by George Soros. Just to be sure, I did some research myself on this rumor and discovered this on Snopes:
“The snopes.com web site is (and always has been) a completely independent, self-sufficient entity wholly owned by its operators, Barbara and David Mikkelson, and funded through advertising revenues. Neither the site nor its operators has ever received monies from (or been engaged in any business or editorial relationship with), any sponsor, investor, partner, political party, religious group, business organization, government agency, or any other outside group or organization.”
That’s pretty definitive, but what else would you expect from a Soros controlled web site? The unabridged idiocy of this group is both hilarious and frightening. And the scariest part is that very little of what is said strays far from the mainstream of the Republican Party and its current crop of presidential candidates. Watch the whole video here:
And if that’s not enough, catch episode #2 here. It’s a classic that focuses on President Obama’s fake citizenship and contains another song by Jackson (“Yes, I am a Birther and I’m really, really proud”). Somewhere Andy Kaufman is squirting milk through his nose.