The Sarah Palin Chronicles: A 2012 Retrospective Of Humiliation And Hilarity

The past year has presented a wealth of unintentional comedy from right-wing raconteurs whose generosity in embarrassing themselves was profound. There was Donald Trump and Dick Morris and Allen West and many others vying for the top spot in the Crackpottery Hall of Fame.

However, this year, as in much of the recent past, the competition was too stiff and everyone had to bow, once again, to the Queen of Quackery: Sarah Palin. What follows are just a few of the most memorably humiliating hijinks in a year of world class buffoonery.

Today Show Ratings Down With Sarah Palin As Guest Host

In a desperate attempt to counter-program ABC’s Good Morning America, NBC invited Palin to guest host their Today Show. The result was an episode that underperformed NBC’s average and may have been the catalyst that led to ABC eventually beating NBC in the morning news wars for the first time in years.

Sarah Palin Calls Nancy Pelosi A ‘Dingbat’ – No, Really!

Appearing with fellow crackpot Sean Hannity on Fox News, Palin responded to a question about Democratic Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi by saying…

“Well, first off, Nancy Pelosi is a dingbat. And she is the perfect spokesperson for this whole agenda of the far-left running the Democrat Party.”


And if that weren’t bad enough, Palin also made a disparaging, phallus-related insult directed at President Obama, calling him a “tool.”

The Alaska Mistake Mouths Off: Sarah Palin Finally Responds To Dick Cheney

After former Vice-President Dick Cheney told ABC News that her selection as John McCain’s running mate was “a mistake,” Palin fired back saying that…

“It would have been a mistake to have hunkered down, just lived that luxurious, if you will, comfortable lifestyle in Alaska.”

Of course, we now know that Palin gleefully exploited the notoriety she attained from the nomination. She peddled her books and speaking engagements. She signed a multimillion dollar deal with Fox News. She starred in laughably inept reality TV programs. She increased her net worth many times over, yet recalls wistfully her “luxurious” lifestyle in Alaska. Palin is a notorious grifter and Cheney, for once, is quite right.

Sarah Palin Wants One Name Of A Hostile Republican

When Palin appeared on Fox News with her friend Greta Van Susteren, the conversation turned to some of the nastiness on the campaign trail that Palin thinks is exclusively on the side of the Democrats. In a hilarious demonstration of self-delusion, Palin said…

“Name one — name one prominent Republican who even comes close to what like the Alan Graysons, the Harry Reids, the Joe Bidens come up with and spew to the American public. I can’t think of one prominent Republican who talks the way that they talk.”

Sarah Palin Hostile

Sarah Palin is about the most vituperative, mean-spirited, mud-slinger in America today. But, in her defense, she did specify a “prominent Republican.”

Sarah Palin Says You Are Diminished By Even Mentioning Her Name

Palin was so upset that John Kerry referenced her in joke that was directed at Mitt Romney that she unleashed this bit of nonsense on Neil Cavuto’s show on Fox News:

“I think he diminished himself by even mentioning my name. How does he even know my name? I mean aren’t these guys supposed to be these big-wig elites who don’t waste their time on the little people like me?”

So Palin is surprised that someone should know her name after running for vice-president, conducting bus tours (and book signings) across the country, hosting in two unintentionally hilarious reality shows on cable TV, and appearing regularly on Fox News as part of her million dollar contract? After all of that she still has some bizarre impression of herself as a little person. Little, perhaps, in mental acuity.

Sarah Palin Drips With Envy Over Obama’s Selection As Time Magazine’s Person Of The Year

Sarah Palin appeared on her old pal Greta Van Susteren’s show on Fox News where she was asked to comment on Time Magazine’s selection of President Obama as “Person of the Year.” And, what a surprise, the ego-driven Queen of the North could only find nasty things to say about Obama. But she concluded with a statement I agree with wholeheartedly:

“Time Magazine, you know, I think there’s some irrelevancy there to tell you the truth. I mean consider their list of the most influential people in the country and in the world, some who have made that list – yours truly – that ought to tell you something right there regarding the credence that we should give Time Magazine and their list of people.”

Sarah Palin Irrelevant

It’s interesting to see just how little Palin thinks of herself. She doesn’t think anyone should have heard of her, and she doesn’t think she’s relevant enough to be mentioned in Time. However, these bouts of low self-esteem only seem to flare up when she is being attacked. Whenever she is promoting herself her abundant ego is in full effect.

The big problem Palin has is that many others share her opinion about her being an insignificant has-been. Her books don’t sell, her TV and film ventures bomb, and speculation has it that Fox News will not be renewing her contract next year. Consequently, there is not likely going to be another Palin retrospective at the end of 2013. I miss her already.