Donald Trump Exposes The Illegal Alien Lizard Overlords Controlling The Planet

It’s no wonder that both David Letterman and Jon Stewart have expressed deep regrets at leaving their programs just as Donald Trump has announced his pretend campaign for the Republican nomination for president. It seems that every day there is another gift to comedy emanating from The Donald. Today Trump is testing the totally insane conspiracy theorist waters and, in the trademark Trump fashion, he is making a HUGE splash.

Donald Trump Lizard

With the news that Joaquin Guzman (aka El Chapo), the leader of Mexico’s Sinaloa drug cartel, has engineered an elaborate escape from prison, Trump is conspiracy theorizing that “Corrupt Mexican officials obviously let him go.” Of course they did. Why wouldn’t they after just having spent years and untold sums of money to capture him only last year? Trump’s theory goes on to surmise that Guzman is “possibly” in the U.S. because naturally a fugitive Mexican drug lord who Trump says was released by friendly Mexican officials would hightail it to a country that would love to put him away for two or three hundred years, rather than stay in his homeland where he has allies, hideouts, and, according to Trump, cooperative government accomplices who will spring him from prison should he get nabbed again?

But it gets even more bizarre. In the same statement, Trump veered off to accuse American politicians of being responsible for El Chapo’s jailbreak, even though he just finished blaming it on the corrupt Mexican officials.

“I respect Mexico. They can’t help it if our politicians are so incompetent that things like this can continually take place.”

So all of a sudden his amigos in Mexico are merely the unfortunate victims of some unnamed cabal of American politicians. No doubt President Obama is the kingpin of this gringo crime syndicate that is now harboring El Chapo in a San Fernando Valley safe house. [Hmm, isn’t San Fernando Spanish?]

Glenn Beck and Alex Jones had better watch out. Trump is rapidly moving in on their delusional, tin-foil hat territory. He has even earned the enmity of the boss of the world’s biggest media family. When Fox News Godfather Rupert Murdoch got around to paying attention to the Frankenstein monster that he and his network created he tweeted

“Mexican immigrants, as with all immigrants, have much lower crime rates than native born. Eg El Paso safest city in U.S. Trump wrong.”

That’s actually true. And furthermore, cities like New York and Los Angeles, where the undocumented immigrant population is the highest, also have declining rates of crime that are lower than cities with fewer immigrants. But these are not the sort of facts that Fox News regards as newsworthy. Geraldo Rivera tried to report it as a fill-in guest on The Five, but was quickly shouted down by the other four goons who were busy exploiting the murder of a San Francisco woman whom they they felt it necessary to shamelessly politicize before she was even buried.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

The Trump Show is certain to keep getting better and better. Here’s hoping he stays in the race long enough to participate in a debate or two. He still has not filed his financial reports which are due in four days. He could request an extension (which he swore he would not do) and that would permit him to continue running, but it would exclude him from the first debate that is on Fox News. So stay tuned kiddies. The fun is just beginning.

Bonus Addendum: Trump Tweets:
When will people, and the media, start to apologize to me for my statement, “Mexico is sending….”, which turned out to be true? El Chapo”
Trump continues to think that Mexico has an official policy of organizing undesirables and arranging for their transport to the U.S.

The U.S. will invite El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord who just escaped prison, to become a U.S. citizen because our “leaders” can’t say no!”
Just like all the other drug lords that have received invitations to visit America – mostly from red-state drug addicts who dominate the the demand in this country for illegal narcotics.

Can you envision Jeb Bush or Hillary Clinton negotiating with ‘El Chapo’, the Mexican drug lord who escaped from prison?”
After previously saying he would negotiate with ISIS, Trump now adds El Chapo to the list of criminals he thinks should be negotiated with.

Sleep eyes @ChuckTodd is killing Meet The Press. Isn’t he pathetic? Love watching him fail!”
This is Trump’s typically personalized and insulting (and oh-so-presidential) response to the devastating “Trump vs. Trump” segment Todd did on Meet the Press yesterday.

The Stupid Party: Jeb Bush Fears That Big Words Make The World Dangerous

The new Prince of the Bush Dynasty is succeeding in stealing back some of the limelight that Donald Trump has been hogging. However, Jeb Bush’s method of getting attention may not be the most effective in terms of gaining respect. In the same interview where Bush revealed that he thinks Americans are not working enough, he also expressed his disdain for “sophisticated” communication:

“You don’t have to be the world’s policeman, but we have to be the world’s leader — and there’s a huge difference. This guy — this president and Secretary Clinton and Secretary Kerry – when someone disagrees with their nuanced approach, where it’s all kind of so sophisticated it makes no sense. You know what I’m saying — big-syllable words and lots of fancy conferences and meetings — but we’re not leading, that creates chaos, it creates a more dangerous world.”

Oh my, Matilda. The prezdent uses them long words what make chaos. It’s all parta his socialismic plot.

Jeb Bush

The problem with Bush’s criticism of President Obama et al, is that it affirms what can only be described as the aspirational ignorance (sorry for all the syllables, Tea Partyers) of the GOP. There has long been a deliberate objective within the conservative political sphere to literally dumb down their discourse to appeal to a constituency for which they obviously have little respect.

This could be traced back to Ronald Reagan’s fist-shaking demand that “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall,” which today is regaled by fans as soaring oratory on the scale of Churchill’s “blood, sweat, and tears.” In fact it’s more akin to an old man bellowing at the neighborhood kids to get off his lawn. If Reagan had been FDR he would have settled for “Just stop fearin’ y’all.”

Jeb’s aversion to being articulate seems to run in the Bush family. His brother George is famous for his verbal gaffes and low-brow manner of speech. What’s worse, he actually regards under-achievement as a virtue. Part of a commencement speech he gave included this inspirational message: “To the C Students I say, you too can be President of the United States.” A similar message of intellectual lethargy was conveyed in a commencement address by Rick Perry who said “I’m very proud to tell you I graduated in the top 10 of my graduating class – of 13.”

Academic achievement and critical thinking is not particularly valued among some of the other current Republicans aspiring to the White House. Scott Walker is a college dropout. Rand Paul is a serial plagiarist. Harvard law grad Ted Cruz thinks the Supreme Court is too political, so the judges should be subjected to political reconfirmation votes. Chris Christie’s idea of adult discourse is to tell people to “sit down and shut up.” Ben Carson thinks that ObamaCare is the worst thing since slavery. Donald Trump just tweeted that he had 20,000 people in a hall that only fits 4,100 (He has since deleted that tweet). And of course, Bobby Jindal is the guy who coined the phrase “The Stupid Party” in reference to the GOP. Apparently he knows of what he speaks.

Remember also that Republicans are opponents of education in general. They oppose increased funding and anything that benefits teachers. They are fiercely anti-science. They cannot agree that evolution is a valid theory or that Climate Change is actually occurring, despite all of the scientific evidence for both. They advocate teaching so-called creation science in public schools. They are a party that has open disdain for the high-performing Ivy League institutions that they regard as elitist. And they are strong advocates of homeschooling where no standards of education are maintained.

No wonder leading Republican candidates are so notorious for talking down to their constituents. No wonder they talk in sound bites and bumper sticker cliches. They either don’t understand more complex concepts, or they are afraid their audience won’t. Consequently, Jeb Bush has to demean Obama for using too many syllables and holding “fancy” meetings. I guess the meetings held during a Bush administration would be dominated by coloring books and nap time. Why waste energy with boring and complicated discussions about international law and treaties? That sort of advanced intelligence doesn’t sit well with the right-wing electorate.

Nor does it work for viewers of Fox News, who are treated to a 24/7 barrage of painfully ignorant and dishonest propaganda. That’s a sad fact that was hilariously explained by Monty Python’s John Cleese, who offered a brief description of the Dunning-Kruger effect wherein stupid people are too stupid to realize how stupid they are.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.