Donald Trump Exposes The Illegal Alien Lizard Overlords Controlling The Planet

It’s no wonder that both David Letterman and Jon Stewart have expressed deep regrets at leaving their programs just as Donald Trump has announced his pretend campaign for the Republican nomination for president. It seems that every day there is another gift to comedy emanating from The Donald. Today Trump is testing the totally insane conspiracy theorist waters and, in the trademark Trump fashion, he is making a HUGE splash.

Donald Trump Lizard

With the news that Joaquin Guzman (aka El Chapo), the leader of Mexico’s Sinaloa drug cartel, has engineered an elaborate escape from prison, Trump is conspiracy theorizing that “Corrupt Mexican officials obviously let him go.” Of course they did. Why wouldn’t they after just having spent years and untold sums of money to capture him only last year? Trump’s theory goes on to surmise that Guzman is “possibly” in the U.S. because naturally a fugitive Mexican drug lord who Trump says was released by friendly Mexican officials would hightail it to a country that would love to put him away for two or three hundred years, rather than stay in his homeland where he has allies, hideouts, and, according to Trump, cooperative government accomplices who will spring him from prison should he get nabbed again?

But it gets even more bizarre. In the same statement, Trump veered off to accuse American politicians of being responsible for El Chapo’s jailbreak, even though he just finished blaming it on the corrupt Mexican officials.

“I respect Mexico. They can’t help it if our politicians are so incompetent that things like this can continually take place.”

So all of a sudden his amigos in Mexico are merely the unfortunate victims of some unnamed cabal of American politicians. No doubt President Obama is the kingpin of this gringo crime syndicate that is now harboring El Chapo in a San Fernando Valley safe house. [Hmm, isn’t San Fernando Spanish?]

Glenn Beck and Alex Jones had better watch out. Trump is rapidly moving in on their delusional, tin-foil hat territory. He has even earned the enmity of the boss of the world’s biggest media family. When Fox News Godfather Rupert Murdoch got around to paying attention to the Frankenstein monster that he and his network created he tweeted

“Mexican immigrants, as with all immigrants, have much lower crime rates than native born. Eg El Paso safest city in U.S. Trump wrong.”

That’s actually true. And furthermore, cities like New York and Los Angeles, where the undocumented immigrant population is the highest, also have declining rates of crime that are lower than cities with fewer immigrants. But these are not the sort of facts that Fox News regards as newsworthy. Geraldo Rivera tried to report it as a fill-in guest on The Five, but was quickly shouted down by the other four goons who were busy exploiting the murder of a San Francisco woman whom they they felt it necessary to shamelessly politicize before she was even buried.

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The Trump Show is certain to keep getting better and better. Here’s hoping he stays in the race long enough to participate in a debate or two. He still has not filed his financial reports which are due in four days. He could request an extension (which he swore he would not do) and that would permit him to continue running, but it would exclude him from the first debate that is on Fox News. So stay tuned kiddies. The fun is just beginning.

Bonus Addendum: Trump Tweets:
When will people, and the media, start to apologize to me for my statement, “Mexico is sending….”, which turned out to be true? El Chapo”
Trump continues to think that Mexico has an official policy of organizing undesirables and arranging for their transport to the U.S.

The U.S. will invite El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord who just escaped prison, to become a U.S. citizen because our “leaders” can’t say no!”
Just like all the other drug lords that have received invitations to visit America – mostly from red-state drug addicts who dominate the the demand in this country for illegal narcotics.

Can you envision Jeb Bush or Hillary Clinton negotiating with ‘El Chapo’, the Mexican drug lord who escaped from prison?”
After previously saying he would negotiate with ISIS, Trump now adds El Chapo to the list of criminals he thinks should be negotiated with.

Sleep eyes @ChuckTodd is killing Meet The Press. Isn’t he pathetic? Love watching him fail!”
This is Trump’s typically personalized and insulting (and oh-so-presidential) response to the devastating “Trump vs. Trump” segment Todd did on Meet the Press yesterday.


6 thoughts on “Donald Trump Exposes The Illegal Alien Lizard Overlords Controlling The Planet

  1. #TrumpTheChumpInc: This guy is a fathead, or a plant. Maybe the GOP is really gonna go extinct?

    • I’ve been wondering since his announcement whether Trump actually believes his hype. In other words is he his own biggest sucker?

  2. I for one welcome our new alien lizard over– wait a minute, now how are they going to deal with the leeches and monkeys who are already in control? Not to mention the robots who are waiting in the wings and the aliens who are already watching us laughing their “asses” (or whatever they call them) off…

    Oh well – in the meantime, we’ll just acknowledge The Dump is dumber than Sarah Palin and leave at that. Even if the entire planet falls into a black hole in light of the impossibility of the reality of that fact…

    • Too many overlords, not enough lizards.

  3. I’m surprised Trump’s head doesn’t implode from the vacuum.

  4. This is why Aliens, (the extra-terrestrial kind), will not talk to us. This, and tee vee programs they monitor such as, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo”, ” Duck Dynasty” and “FOX News”.

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