Glenn Beck’s American Revival: Losers And Weepers

This past Saturday Glenn Beck held the first of his American Revival Traveling Salvation Shows in Florida. Will Bunch of the Philadelphia Daily News was there and reported that it was pretty much the evangelical, Apocalyptic fright fest one might have imagined from Beck. Along with his customary factless exhortations on the imminent demise of the nation, Beck beseeched his congregation to “Get God on your side.” But he was especially pessimistic on Saturday:

“If we don’t face the truth right now, we’ll be dead in five years; this country can’t survive.”

Five years? That’s barely enough time to schedule an appointment with the ObamaCare Death Panel. Beck’s audience heartily embraces his pessimism. Eighty percent said so in a survey conducted by texting in the auditorium. Who knew there were so many Americans who believe this nation is such a fragile thing that its prognosis for survival is hopelessly bleak? Nevertheless, the Beck pods were so moved that they expressed their enthusiasm for his vision as something of a spiritual awakening. Here are some retweets posted on Beck’s Twitter stream:

“the American Revival today was absolutely one of the best experiences of my life.”

“Thank you for one of the most amazing experiences in my life!!”

“I was blind but now I see!!.”

“Today’s American Revival inspired me more than any other day in my life so far….THANK YOU!”

“Thank you @glennbeck for an incredibly memorible day! Today I have heard the call in more ways than one!”

“I cry as I write: my life is forever change. TY”

These revival meetings are building up to an event in Washington, DC, that Beck calls Restoring Honor. Apparently Beck’s method of doing that is to hold a rally to launch his next book, “The Plan” – a 100 year strategy for … I don’t know … manifesting the dementia that infects his brain. This book launch masquerading as political event (and dishonestly exploiting a veterans charity) is being held on the anniversary of Martin Luther’s King’s “I Have A Dream” speech, and at the same location. That is a stinging insult to man that Beck doesn’t think deserves a holiday honoring him.

Beck has another book coming out in June. That one is reportedly a work of fiction, although that doesn’t really distinguish from everything else he does. It is called “The Overton Window” and incorporates much of the Apocalyptic fantasies that Beck dispenses on his radio and TV shows. The plot chronicles a nation in “a civil war, and life is upside-down planetwide.” And there is a group of heroes Beck calls the “Founders Keepers,” which I’m sure is how he sees himself, with all his talk of Re-Founding America and his beatification of Sam Adams, George Washington, et al.

BecktownBut I think there is a more appropriate name for the group to which Beck belongs than Founders Keepers. I would call them the “Losers Weepers.” What else would call a bunch of ignorant hypocrites who can’t stop sobbing over imaginary villains lurking in every shadow? These are people who rail against big government when they go to pick up their unemployment checks. They are the ones who shout “Keep government’s hands off of my Social Security.” They profess to support the troops, unless those troops come back from the battlefield scarred and in need of physical and emotional rehabilitation. And these are the people who believe Beck’s lies and horror stories and would follow Beck anywhere. Perhaps even to Becktown where they could enjoy complimentary Kool-Aid.

This just in: Some of Beck’s fans left his revival to discover that their cars had been towed away. Actually 53 of them. It appears that they were misled by signs directing them to a parking lot for the Kappa Sigma fraternity. This may have been a mistake or a prank, no one seems to know for sure. But I have uncovered some evidence that it might be a plot devised by Barack Obama himself.

Kappa SigmaPlease note this symbol for Kappa Sigma. It’s a crescent and star, which is also a symbol of ….. the Muslim faith. And since Obama is a secret Muslim. the connection is pretty obvious. The president planned this whole thing to attack Glenn Beck and his disciples. The Kappa Sigma are working clandestinely on behalf of the White House. After a enough of these operations, none of Beck’s viewers will have any transportation at all. They’ll be stuck at home and will miss all of the Tea Parties. It’s downright insidious.


10 thoughts on “Glenn Beck’s American Revival: Losers And Weepers

  1. Too funny. The cartoon should be on the Jon Stuart show. You should send it on.

    The Mass Derangement Syndrome (sic) is well known in mass psychology studies and propaganda’s ultimate goal is to create the Syndrome in as many as possible. As funny as Beck is, the tweets only provide compelling evidence that Beck has further along in this goal than anyone in recent history. He is truly dangersous.

    Witness Beck’s propaganda fest today on his show. Man, I could not stop laughing, except I did when he would wrap up each session with comparisons of the current government as on the slippery slope to the horrors of the history that he just twisted. He is truly dangerous. Fortunately he is becoming more irrelevant as his clear intent of civil violence – let’s not mince words – is doomed to fail, coming as it does, with imminent collapse of the Republican Party. Or would that be a catalyst? HMMMMMM.

    • That documentary he showed today was a repeat. And it is truly repulsive and full of lies. It is based on Jonah Goldberg’s ludicrous book Liberal Fascism. Goldberg is at least as bad as Beck. He’s just doesn’t have that edge of crazy that makes Beck a star.

    • more along than any other? i think not. how about bush and cheney? saying that the world is being attacked by men in caves… hiding in deserts and hijacked 4 planes with box cutters? craching planes into buildings that disenigrate jet engines… mabye you should read your history… things like this have been going on since the late 1900’s.

      weather or not you agree with glen beck or not… i think his goal is to make people question things that poeple just tell you… cause i bet half of you are only concerned in preserving your believes and your side of the fight instead of figuring out what is right. i think that people just dont care whats right… i think thats why we as a society are less educated than we were in the 50’s ( which coicidentally is when goverment started to sponsor darwins evolution theory in textbooks for public schools)

      “They must find it difficult…
      Those who have taken authority as the truth,
      Rather than truth as the authority.”

      -G. Massey, Egyptologist

  2. Beck’s rants provide excuses for the racists who oppose President Obama no matter what he does. If they are not a group of delusional mendacious racists, where was their deep concern when Bush/Cheney undermined the Constittution, started an illegal war of aggression, intruded on personal privacy for political purposes, exposed a covert CIA operative, crippled government agencies they didn’t like, instructed other agencies to mislead the public, committed war crimes, obstructed justice, corrupted the DoJ, and hastily emptied the Treasury?

  3. You leftists are such liars, that you wouldn’t know the truth if it bit you in the ass! However, soon your asses will be collectively kicked back to the gay Europe you treasure. Those that don’t hang for treason along side George Soros and crew. Remember, America is not Russia of 1917 or your darling Hitlers Germany. If your fascist puppet in the White House makes the mistake of trying to suspend the constitution or free elections this fall, he will find that our military will not back him up. That will leave you only with your IRS drones, not a match for any single battalion of even our National Guard. So go ahead stupid progressives, make our day so we can make you extinct.

    • Wow. The black helicopter crowd is out in force today. Seriously dude, take your meds.

  4. You limp-dick liberals never really change, do you? You come up with all the tired old and disproven charges against Bush yet never explain why the Democrap controled congress from ’06-’08 never bothered to bring up impeachment for his actions. You know that congress don’t you? The one that actively enabled Freddie Mac and Fannie May and all the other loan sharks to put us in the mess we’re in. If your mothers would let you out of the basement every once in a while you might get a glimpse of who is really screwing your future into the ground.
    Progressives=Communist light All of the mouth and none of the guts.

    • So are arguing that Dems should have impeached Bush and should be more aggressive in pursuit of a progressive agenda? If so, I agree.

      Now, can you focus long enough to stay on topic? Because your little rant has nothing to do with this article.

  5. Mark,
    You and Fred are amazingly ignorant considering all you seem to “know” and in spite of all that is slapping us in the face these days in this country!
    The “cartoon” is indeed “funny,” especially if you imagine it to be based in truth which, of course, it is not.
    Your awakening will be “rude” and perhaps sudden; I’ll pray that it’s sooner rather than later.

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