Fox News Employs Hilariously Warped Math To Claim Victory Over Dish TV

The ongoing contract negotiations between Fox News and the Dish TV network has resulted in Fox pulling their programming off the service until their demands are met. Consequently, Dish subscribers are reporting an unexpected rise in IQ and a corresponding decline in irrational fear. And it measurably improved their Christmas holiday.

Fox News Dish TV

Over at the Fox News offices, however, it’s a different story. They are certain that the stalemate is befitting them and have been bragging to trade publications about their victories. A report in the industry publication Multichannel News quotes Tim Carry, Fox’s executive vice president of distribution for Fox News and Fox Business, estimating that Dish has shed 90,000 subscribers since the channels went dark. Carry attributes these alleged losses to subscribers’ inability to get their daily Fox fix.

You may be wondering now how Carry came up with the 90,000 figure, and after the explanation you will still be wondering. According to Multichannel News, Carry “based the total on the number of viewers that have reached out” via a website and toll-free number that Fox set up to organize their disgruntled fans. The article continues…

“Carry said that a combined 350,000 have called about or visited the section of the Fox website providing a list of alternative providers in the viewers’ area. He said the numbers began picking up on Dec. 26, after the Christmas holiday.

“Given ‘dwell times’ reaching four to five minutes, Carry said the programmer has extrapolated that at least 45,000 of these respondents have dropped Dish.

“He said those are not the only means for network viewers to express their disconnect displeasure and intention to move one, and projects that a like number have contacted Dish directly to drop the provider.”

So anyone who spent a few minutes on Fox’s Internet Home for Jonesing Wingnuts was counted as a disconnect for Dish, whether or not they ever subscribed to Dish. That would, by the way, include me and every other curious liberal who clicked on the bright yellow banner atop the Fox News website. And even at that, Carry was only able to muster 45,000 totally speculative disconnects. Obviously that wasn’t enough to register sufficient outrage. Carry’s solution was to arbitrarily double that made up figure with the explanation that an equal number of Fox withdrawal sufferers must have been calling Dish directly. Why did he double the amount? Who knows. Had he been more ambitious he could have said it was ten times more, since he wasn’t providing any factual evidence for the numbers anyway.

But what’s really funny about this desperate and lame attempt to spin subscriber stats is that all of the fabrications and distortions of math by Fox resulted in an insignificant reduction in Dish’s subscriber base. While 90,000 sounds like a lot, it actually represents a fraction of one percent of their total 14 million customers (0.64% to be exact).

Meanwhile, the ratings for Fox News have suffered a decline of significant proportions. Even taking into account the lower expected viewership during the holidays, some industry insiders regard the drop as statistically greater than what they might have experienced without the Dish dispute.

Fox may also want to consider that while their programming is blacked-out, Dish is poking them in the eye by replacing it with Glenn Beck’s TheBlaze, a glorified video blog run by a guy who is so deranged that Fox had to fire him (let that concept sink in).

Get the ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Under the circumstances, it might be wise for Fox to capitulate and settle their differences with Dish. If they are having to contort themselves into this kind of wobbly PR without gaining any advantage, it speaks to the weakness of their negotiating position. However, it fits squarely with their skewed view of reality and suggests that they are just as determined to mislead themselves as they are to mislead their pitifully dimwitted audience. The blind deceiving the blind.


16 thoughts on “Fox News Employs Hilariously Warped Math To Claim Victory Over Dish TV

  1. I’m a dish subscriber and was surprised to find that my IQ went up 25 points last month.

  2. I hope Dish just cancels Fox News altogether, it isn’t news anyway.

    • This is not a defense of Fox – but are you sure you want others deciding what you can see or not see? This time you may like the decision, the next time, maybe not. I don’t watch it so I wouldn’t miss it – not sure why anyone here watches it if it’s so offensive.

      • In this case they did the country a favor. Their lies and propaganda must stop. THEY are further dividing this country with their lies. I wish ALL stations would pull the plug on them! Never saw such a bunch of ignorant, bigoted, phonies in my life!

        • You come here – and this website attempts to divide every bit as much – no, I don’t think Mark is a liar – but his style of writing is most definitely divisive. There is a heck of a lot of agreement in the masses – but he chooses hatred of anything not in his ideology when pushing his ideas. It could be very different, but hate sells and you and others here are willing buyers.
          And – “in this case” is a short sighted way to look at things – your “in this case” could have continued as “they hurt free expression of ideas” – Yes, Fox is a propaganda network, I agree. You can’t expect all restrictions on expression to be for the good.

          • MSNBC and CNN are also propaganda networks. What i find funny about the right and left camp is that they both consider the others news to be brainwashing. The truth is ALL of them are and they are all equally bad at spin and lies. You are just as brainwashed as the people whos opinions you hate. If Americans would wake up and turn off all major news media they might actually start seeing the actual truths in this country instead of bickering themselves, but by all means group to gether and reienforce each others hypocracy. Its nice to live in your own personal dilusions.

            • Have you actually watched CNN lately? It’s as milquetoast as they come. Granted MSNBC has an agenda but CNN doesn’t know where it is politically which actually makes it watchable. It’s a shame when the best news reporting in the US is coming from Al Jazeera America.

      • Steve, that’s how the game works. Whether you get your TV via Dish, DirectTV, cable, or from whatever provider you get them from … the provider selects a group of channels that they subscribe to and you, the customer, have some modicum of control over which ones you get. Others have ALWAYS decided what you can see or not see. The only time that wasn’t true was before cable when we got our signals over the air, and then it was TV station owners deciding what we can or cannot see.

        Your argument is moot.

        • I’m not disagreeing with that – I’m responding to the idea suggested by others that it’s ok to support a practice that networks or opinion channels should be deleted or not offered for any other reason than economic or some other measure that puts the people in charge. If it doesn’t fit within their business or cost model, fine – but suggesting they are doing society a favor by deleting it for political purposes is NOT ok. I’m not the one who suggested this – I’m just saying it’s a dangerous position to take.

      • Are you serious? They already do decide what we will be watching by carrying a channel, or not carrying it. Also, like is done to some channels, they can be put on only the most expensive package such as MSNBC was for years. Even now Dish doesn’t offer MSNBC on it’s biggest selling package, which is the most economical package. It is FOX that priced themselves out of the market, so it’s FOX that is keeping their programing from you. Personally I hope that the other TV providers do the same and keep prices low.

        • I’m not naive and ultimately Fox doesn’t impact my day as I don’t watch it – but you seem to be missing the point – I didn’t start the comments here. I just responded to an idea that what we watch is being regulated for political purposes – I didn’t make the initial comment, I just responded. Maybe you all need to think about what you believe since your core concern is if Fox News is on Dish vs. other programming because you don’t like their practices (which I don’t like either). Fox News isn’t the only channel to have issues with Dish – but that is a business issue not a political opinion issue and that is fine. If you are suggesting MSNBC is not or has not been offered for political purposes, my position is the same even though my political views are not really aligned with their clearly progressive angle, but there is no way I would want any programming kept from the public based on political concern – even those that I don’t like. I would argue yours and others would be different because you are purely political in your opinions on this subject based on the comments above.

      • I think Fox did it to themselves. It is a contract dispute. They thought they could bully Dish into paying triple the rates for Fox Sports stations which weren’t up for negotiation, by threatening to pull the news stations which were in the contract renewal.

        • In response to your comment nnyl – that would be a business decision – if Fox thinks they are sooo important to cable packages, then let them do it. If Dish refuses to pay their price, then let the chips fall. If Dish loses subscriptions due to no Fox News, then they will be forced to pay. If Dish loses nothing, then Fox is screwed – in the end, it’s the people who decide what they want to watch and that is how it should be. Dish and Fox responding to the will of the people is the goal – not some progressive plan to “properly” educate the people – which is how I read the suggestions of this website. I have no love for Fox News, I think it is a destructive channel and it hurts conservatism more than it helps – mainly because it’s not conservative at all – it’s a republican propaganda network and the republican party is NOT conservative anymore. In the end, it’s for the people to decide by their own individual choices of to watch or not to watch. I would prefer – as I believe many here would – is a better educated population not buying into propaganda but truth.

  3. Well, I am apparently in the minority here… I like Fox News and have been a DISH subscriber for over 5 years. I have researched my options & contacted them to let them know that I will most likely switch providers if this situation isn’t taken care of in 3 months time. I’ve been through this before with DISH…over local channels. I don’t know who gave in, but it took about a month for the lawyers to get their “do” done.

  4. I guess people are looking for something else to exacerbate in their live because Who F’ing cares about some so called battle and who wins what. I like Fox News and other news channels for that matter, so another carrier has become necessary to watch Fox is all. Dish was dropped and Direct picked up…no biggy! Nothing to see here – move along.

Comments are closed.