Donald Trump: I’m Fired!

When Donald Trump announced that he would be hosting a Republican presidential primary debate, the news was met mostly with mockery and from Democrats and dread from Republicans. The only person who ever took it seriously was Trump himself. And Trump was typically bombastic in describing it as the most important debate ever, and insisting that it would be watched by more people than any other debate.

Today Trump realized what most of the knowledgeable observers have known all along. This debate was a cockeyed notion that interested only people who wanted to laugh along with his comedia. So he released a statement that he would not be hosting a debate after all. And his reasons for canceling are just as funny as his reasons for signing on in the first place.

“The Republican Party candidates are very concerned that sometime after the final episode of The Apprentice, on May 20th, when the equal time provisions are no longer applicable to me, I will announce my candidacy for President of the United States as an Independent and that, unless I conclusively agree not to run as an Independent, they will not agree to attend or be a part of the Newsmax debate scheduled for December 27, 2011. It is very important to me that the right Republican candidate be chosen to defeat the failed and very destructive Obama Administration, but if that Republican, in my opinion, is not the right candidate, I am not willing to give up my right to run as an Independent candidate. Therefore, so that there is no conflict of interest within the Republican Party, I have decided not to be the moderator of the Newsmax debate.”

The only candidate who said anything about the prospect of Trump running for president as an Independent was Michele Bachmann. The overwhelming majority of the criticisms of Trump’s event were focused on the circus atmosphere over which he was certain to preside. Nevertheless, Trump used as his excuse for pulling a Palin (withdrawing prematurely) was his determination to keep his options open for an Independent candidacy.

Let’s be perfectly clear about this. Donald Trump canceled the debate because he didn’t have the stature to pull it off. Not even with the help of his third rate partners at NewsMax and ION-TV. What’s more, he is not going to run for president as an Independent or anything else. To suggest that he canceled the debate to keep that open as an option is absurd in the extreme. He might as well have said that he wants to keep open the option of traveling to Venus for a conference of mermaids and minotaurs.

Personally, I’m disappointed. There isn’t much on television in the days between Christmas and News Year’s but cheesy holiday specials and old movies I’ve seen a hundred times. The Trump debate would have been a welcome comic relief. I guess I’ll have to be satisfied with reruns of yuletide episodes of sitcoms and NetFlix.