You really have to hand it to Fox News. When they aren’t serving dutifully as Donald Trump’s Ministry of Propaganda, they are providing a valuable public service by keeping their viewers informed about the critical issues that matter most to them during these trying times.

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The commitment to responsible journalism that Fox News is famous for is demonstrated on a daily basis in innumerable ways. They include their gushing adorations of all things Trump. Their flagrant lies about made-up Democratic scandals. Their distortions and deliberate misinterpretations of breaking news stories. And their devotion to reporting as fact anything that Trump or his MAGA cronies tell them.

SEE THIS: Fox News Hack Tells ‘Legacy Media’ to ‘Simply Repeat, Retweet’ Whatever Dear Leader Trump Says

On Monday morning Fox’s “Outnumbered” co-host, Emily Compagno, sought to lavish praise on Trump with an enumeration of “some of the big moves that President Trump has made that will impact your everyday life.” And did she waste time with trivialities like wars in Ukraine and Gaza, or the inflationary tariffs that Trump has imposed on many of America’s allies, or his threats to invade and annex Canada, Mexico, and Greenland, or the unconstitutional offenses against federal agencies by Trump’s co-president, Elon Musk?

Nope. Why bother with those distractions when there are real problems that Trump is working hard to solve? According to Compagno, these are the “big moves” that Trump is focused on…

“It seems like nothing is off the table in Trump’s second term. Trump has just ordered the end of penny production. […]

“Trump has also declared that every February 9th will officially be known as “Gulf of America Day.” […]

“He has clearly had enough. Vowing to bring back plastic straws once and for all. Writing ‘I will be signing an Executive Order next week ending the ridiculous Biden push for Paper Straws, that don’t work. BACK TO PLASTIC!’

“God, I love it. All in a day’s work.”

Trump can't be bothered with Ukraine or Gaza or bringing down the high prices of eggs and other items. He's busy working on the things that really impact your everyday life… https://t.co/mVNPH6EDiF

— News Corpse (@NewsCorpse) February 11, 2025

That’s right! Trump is fulfilling his many campaign promises by finally ridding America of pennies, paper straws, and gulfs with names that fail to properly exalt America, even though the gulf was named before there was an America.

Meanwhile, the nation is on the verge of, if not fully engrossed in, several constitutional crises. The Trump team is shutting down crucial services that police corporate corruption. They are halting already allocated life-saving aid to impoverished countries. They are invading the privacy and security of American citizens, They are terminating prosecutors and inspectors general. And they are refusing to comply with court orders to cease these unlawful activities.

But praise the lord that the torture we’ve endured by the atrocities that Trump is addressing is over. And thank goodness we have Fox News to alert us to these glorious improvements in our otherwise woeful existence. MAGA!

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