If this doesn’t curdle your milk, I don’t know what will.

[Mouse over image above for the not-so-subtle message]

Conservative economedian Ben Stein has trouble controlling his carnal urges when watching Fox Business News. In an article he wrote for Best Life Magazine he reveals the real appeal of FBN’s programming: Hot Babes. And he doesn’t hold back the lust in his own heart as he chats up the network’s anchors. Here are a few sweaty excerpts:

Ben Stein’s Wet Dream: “The point is that they’re all young, all beautiful, and all here to talk about the economy and business and the falling dollar and fears of inflation and the credit crisis.”

What’s His Hurry: “When I finished with my appearances on Fox, I hightailed it back to my hotel room…”

An Active Imagination: “You imagine them talking about money while they spread out their hair on the pillow next to you.”

America’s Next Top Business Models: “These models are basically telling us it will be all right. We’ll make up the losses tomorrow. It’ll be fine. Now kiss me.”

Coming Up Next, The Money Shot: “…why not watch someone who knows how to show off her legs and her cleavage…”

Show Us Your (Stock) Tips: “…it’s us pig men watching the money shows, in general, and we want to see women.”

Stein is affirming the Fox programming strategy that I call Porn and Patriotism, although he’s somewhat light on the patriotism. This is nothing new for Fox whose news and entertainment products are sprinkled generously with salacious content. Perhaps Stein would approve of FBN adopting the topless Page 3 girls featured in Murdoch’s English newspaper, The Sun. I’m sure that Stein, and the folks at Fox, would prefer that to actually reporting the news without trying to lie, dumb it down, or exploit sex.