The GOP (Grossly Oblivious Party) Thinks It Won The Shutdown Debacle

It’s only been a few hours since Republicans caved in and finally reopened the government and raised the debt ceiling, extracting none of the many demands they previously insisted upon. Every poll shows them at historic lows and election analysts are giving Democrats fair odds of taking back the House of Representatives.

And yet, some GOP politicians are already saying they intend to do it all again in the next couple of months and, this time, they are sure they will prevail because God told them so.

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Now, in support of that blind confidence, Bill Kristol, the man who thought that Iraqis would welcome American troops as liberators; the brilliant electoral strategist who urged John McCain to choose Sarah Palin as his running mate and predicted that Obama wouldn’t win a single primary against Hillary Clinton; that Bill Kristol, who is the editor of the ultra-conservative Weekly Standard and a contributor on Fox News, has published an editorial that claims that Republicans won the shutdown debacle.

Kristol: Republican efforts over the last weeks have reminded the electorate that it is the Democrats who are the party of 1) the nightmare of Obamacare, 2) the burden of the ever-increasing public debt, and 3) the arrogance of Washington, D.C. Those reminders are worth a lot. So while the GOP has paid some price in the recent skirmishes, the greater price, I suspect, will end up being borne by Democrats.

There you have it. Americans will only remember a few of the hackneyed talking points that Republicans tried and failed to make central to the debate over the past three weeks. They won’t recall how the Tea-Publicans put the nation, and the world, at risk by threatening to default on our debt. Neither will they recall their absurd insistence that Obama undo his signature legislative achievement. Kristol thinks that the country will forget the circus atmosphere created by Ted Cruz and a handful of House Republican nitwits – not to mention the ineptness of GOP Speaker John Boehner.

Despite all of that, Kristol suspects that “the greater price will end up being borne by Democrats.” This is a troubling notion coming from one of the right’s most influential pundits. It suggests that the threat of another default and/or shutdown is still on the table.

On the other hand, it also suggests that Republicans are purposefully trying to return control of the House to Democrats. Perhaps they have recognized that they are unfit for leadership and are angling for a way to abdicate without losing face. That’s the only plausible explanation for why they would entertain any notion that there was a victory for them in any of this. It ‘s the only way Kristol could say with a straight face that…

“Now, with the skirmishing over and a tactical retreat accomplished, the GOP has a chance to regroup and rethink, so as to be better prepared for the next encounter in the new year.”

So he’s calling this embarrassing defeat a “tactical retreat.” Isn’t that cute? And didn’t they just complete a rethinking after they lost last year’s presidential election? Reince Priebus, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, published an extensive “autopsy” of the botched campaign wherein they lost the White House as well as two senate seats and nine seats in the House. And apparently they still haven’t learned anything.

And to top off the superb comedy of this column, Kristol built it all around an analogy based of the travails on the Weekly Standard’s Europe 2013 Cruise, which apparently ran into some bad weather and was unable to make shore as scheduled. So he is comparing the GOP to a floundering cruise ship and concluding that they won a proud victory.

Um…OK. It think it’s best, at this point, if we just humor them.


6 thoughts on “The GOP (Grossly Oblivious Party) Thinks It Won The Shutdown Debacle

  1. Frantic denial is just not sexy. They have a tortoise sized talking tick in their neck and they’ll die if they remove it, so instead they risk listening to it and do what it wants. It’s like how someone deals with a crazy person if you have to deal with a crazy person, you try to keep him calm and play along with all the batshit that comes out of his mouth, but you really just want him to go away so you can continue living your life. Or it’s like an incompetent criminal hostage taker and you’re the vin diesel or the rock character that’s the kind of good guy that got swept up in the whole situation cause they know how to get you fired and ruin your life if you don’t go along. Or it’s like that Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin flick where they’re out in the wilderness and Hopkins knows you’re fucking his wife so he tries to kill you but then he tries to save you but then he wants to kill you again but he then realizes he likes you but then kills you. Or something. It’s a shit sandwich for the GOP, either with bread or flavored crackers. Kristol’s trying for flavored crackers instead of shouting ‘Isn’t it fucked up that we have to eat their shit sandwich? I just want my party back!!’

    • Awesome, as usual, Des. Now if we can get Karl Rove to same something similar I’ll be optimistic.

  2. Perhaps I’m giving John Boehner too much credit but I am hoping what he did was let the tea-party faction of the republican party have their shut-down and near debt default fiasco to flush the fecal matter that is the tea party from their ranks or at least neuter them. We will know soon enough by what we see from this freak show over the next few weeks and months. If the tea-party criminals do this all over again in the next round of budget and debt ceiling deadlines it will prove me wrong, which, I will concede, I could easily be on this one.

  3. The Republican Party needs to pull their heads out of their asses, and wake up to the fact that the people of the United States are the real BOSS around here! We hired the Republicans, the Democrats, the Liberals, the Moderates, the Conservatives, and the President to work for US the People to take care of our needs. To see that we have jobs that provide incomes that allow us to make a decent living and provide for our families. We also want affordable healthcare, affordable education, and clean environment to live in. A way for us to provide for the growth and development of the future generations that will inherit the world that we have built. We did not hire these people to deliberately ignore us, while lining their pockets, or to create laws that benefit Corporations or rich billionaires at the expense of the people. As a BOSS, we the people have the right to FIRE such politicians, political leaders, and even the POTUS if necessary on the grounds of gross negligence in their duties as Public Servants. I suggest that the politicians realize this fact and start doing their JOBS, and work for the American People as a whole and not in the service of a select few. The United States Government is a Government OF the People, BY the People, FOR the People. Not OF the Corporations, BY the Corporations, For the Corporations. WE ARE NOT THE UNITED CORPORATIONS OF AMERICA!!!

    • OH MY GOD – that was the saddest thing I’ve ever heard – at least the first half until the complaint about lining their pockets, which of course is true. It proves we have a long way to fall yet before we turn upwards again – this dependency mindset is so frustrating and pathetic. When you stop looking to those clowns in DC for your well being, you’ll be better off. I don’t look to them to make sure I have a job, I just manage my career so my skills remain relevant and in demand – that’s my job, not theirs.

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