Glenn Beck Is Overwhelmed By Barack Obama

Poor Glenn Beck. He’s having such a hard time keeping up. The burden on him must be horrendous. Day after day he has to maintain a level of maniacal terror that would lead an ordinary man to suicide (which Beck has attempted twice). Every show has to reveal a conspiracy of Satan worshiping liberal traitors that are right outside of your window, preparing to molest your children.

How does he do it? How does he survive the pressure? Of course, it would be a strain for Beck to intellectually keep up with a jellyfish – that’s had a lobotomy – and has been dead for two hours. But somehow he manages to deliver the steadiest stream of stupid in modern media.

Today Beck editorialized that the hearing to confirm Sonia Sotomayor as a Supreme Court Justice is actually just a ruse to draw attention from other more important issues. Barack Obama’s agenda to restore the economy, reform healthcare, clean the environment, and manage two wars and an ongoing terrorist threat, has Beck thinking that a conspiracy has evolved between the administration and the media:

“President Obama is simultaneously dumping so many huge agenda items on the system, even if the media wanted to cover each of the big stories they wouldn’t be able to devote enough time to do it. So instead, we get stuck watching yet another pathetic confirmation hearing.”

And what is it that the “pathetic confirmation hearing” is distracting us from? Beck tells us that it is things like a second stimulus package (which Obama has said is unnecessary at this time), and a photo of Russian President Medvedev holding a coin that Beck says is the future world currency. Then there’s something about Al Gore and General Electric that Beck throws in.

That’s funny. All of Beck’s examples of things that Obama is talking about that will be missed because of the Sotomayor hearings, are things that Obama is not talking about at all. Nevertheless, Obama is still deliberately attempting to overwhelm the system with his overly ambitious agenda. Also, for the record, after this tirade against the conspiracy to use Sotomayor to hide the real news, Beck spent several minutes of his precious airtime discussing…Sotomayor. Apparently Beck has been recruited into the conspiracy himself.

The truth is, Beck isn’t accustomed to seeing what it look likes when a president is actually working and getting things done. He is used to the the sort of progress made by the C- under-achiever that we just booted from office last January. By that measure, Obama is doing the work of ten men. And the sad consequence of it is that ignorant trolls like Beck are going to be left in the dust because their brains can’t fire synapses fast enough to comprehend.

It is a sad thing to witness, but unlike the famous motto of the United Negro College Fund, we need not worry about a mind going to waste. Where there is no mind, there is no waste.


4 thoughts on “Glenn Beck Is Overwhelmed By Barack Obama

  1. Either Beck IS a lobotomized jellyfish or he is a shrewd media huckster. Neither is something I respect to any degree.
    There was, however, one factual point I think you misrepresented. It’s a small thing but you’re better than the implication it presents: We did not just boot out G.W.B. We were happy to see him go and we wouldn’t invite him back, but he was removed by the election. Constitutionally he couldn’t have remained president. Again a small thing, but I think when you present great criticism you have a responsibility for the ephemera.

    • You are, of course, correct about the booting in a literal context. But all I meant to convey was that there was a rejection of Bush and his policies that was evident in the election results and subsequent polling.

  2. I should have realized this. You are right the rejection was total and most aptly described as a “boot”. I shall now give myself the same treatment for an inability to recognize metaphor.

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