If there is one thing that the candidacy of Donald Trump has taught us, it’s that the current batch of Republican candidates is a sorry collection of losers. After all, if they can’t beat a cheesy, egomaniacal, reality TV star like Trump, how can they take on Vladimir Putin?
Trump’s domination of the Republican primary is an indictment against the entire field. Candidates like Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, and Chris Christie were supposed to be governors with the sort of leadership experience that would command respect and support. Upstarts like Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, and Marco Rubio were expected to fire up the conservative base. Instead, they are all gasping for air as Trump’s media-infused marketing blitz leaves them in the dust. And the consequences of his racist diatribes and appeal to rank ignorance will only weigh down the eventual nominee after Trump flames out.
That scenario was depressing enough to one of the GOP’s chief pundits that he set out to identify alternatives to the current roster of pending duds. Bill Kristol authored a column for his Weekly Standard that pitched the names that he believes can redeem the faltering fortunes of the party. And if the failures presently in the running weren’t depressing enough, just wait until you get a load of Kristol’s proposed saviors.
Leading off is former governor of Indiana, and Director of George W. Bush’s Office of Management and Budget (something I would leave off of my resume), Mitch Daniels. If he were a contestant on “So You Think You Can Bore The Sh*t Out Of Everyone” he would be shoe in. Why Kristol thinks this human sedative would have a chance of lapping the current field is unfathomable. But then Kristol offers up another numbers nerd with an equal absence of charisma, Rep. Paul Ryan. Ryan, of course, already demonstrated his inability to appeal to a national electorate as the running mate of Mitt Romney.
Assuming those were Kristol’s heavy hitters, he continued with his list of party savers by suggesting three congressmen that he says are “young but tested leaders:” Jim Jordan, Trey Gowdy and Mike Pompeo. Setting aside that about 99% of the country hasn’t heard of any of them, if they had they would not be especially impressed. The only one with any notable role in public life is Gowdy, who chairs the Congressional Committee on Politicizing Benghazi. And like all of the other committees that have investigated the subject, he has found nothing that points to any wrongdoing by President Obama or anyone in his administration. It’s just another waste of time and money that keeps Congress from doing anything useful.
Perhaps the most curious person on Kristol’s list is Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito. Here is someone without a smidgen of government experience or aptitude. He is considered to be one of the most ultra-conservative justices ever to sit on the high court. An Alito candidacy would only appeal to hardcore rightists and Tea Partiers who comprise a small minority of the population.
Kristol is a well known flop as a pundit and is frequently referred to as Bill “Always Wrong” Kristol. Rachel Maddow did an informative segment last year (video below) that enumerated his lengthy list of failed political predictions. They include such classic favorites as insisting that the war in Iraq would only last a couple of months, and his rabid advocacy of Sarah Palin to be John McCain’s running mate, with whom he would be assured victory. The sole positive purpose of his existence on Earth is to be used as signal for what NOT to do politically.
Therefore, the Republican Party should be grateful for the list of proposed candidates that Kristol has provided. And if they are smart (which I wouldn’t bet on) they will immediately cross those names off of any lists they are making themselves. Then again, it’s not like they could do any worse than what they have now. Maybe they should just throw caution to the wind and nominate Zombie Ronald Reagan or Rush Limbaugh with Ted Nugent as VP.
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3 thoughts on “The Hysterical List Of GOP Candidates Proposed By America’s Worst Pundit”
Hmm, Mark. When I saw that headline, I thought that Dick Morris had stuffed his foot in his mouth again along with the toe-sucking hooker. Oh, well, just like the weather in California, we’ll just wait a few hours.
Dick Morris pretty much fell off the face of the planet after he lost his perch on Fox News. He’s still staying stupid shit, but nobody knows about it.
What time are you going to be trolling Fox Nation today genius?
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