These are boom days for conspiracy theories. You can’t swing a dead cat without hitting one. And who do you think killed the cat? Hmm?
We’ve seen the Birthers who demand to see President Obama’s birth certificate. We’ve seen the Truthers who allege that the U.S. government was in on 9/11. We’ve seen the Tenthers who cite the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution as justification for declaring everything from health care to income taxes as unconstitutional.
Now we have the debut of the Contrailers. Let me have Contrailer Creator Glenn Beck explain it to you:
Did you see the story today about the Chinese missiles and military? How many submarines they’re buying and how many missiles they have? And how they can destroy everything here in America with their missiles?
Do you really believe that that was an airplane contrail off the coast of California? Do you really believe that? Really?
That was a two stage missile. And don’t take that from Glenn Beck. Take that from Glenn Beck who knows an awful lot of people in the military.
Who launched that missile? Do you thinks it’s the military? I told you when that happened I don’t know enough about missiles.
Oh I do now. Oh I do now. And I talked to some military experts who know all about missiles.
What they’re telling you on television is bullcrap.
Really? That’s an airplane. Hmm. That’s an airplane. Shooting right out of the water. That’s an airplane. Why is it that it had the little…It had the little flame at the end?
I mean I lived in Florida. I’ve seen space shuttles launch before.
Come on. Two stage missile. That’s what that was.
Beck goes on to offer his theory for what the mysterious trails were:
China launches a missile to let everyone in the world know, including the United States of America, and especially the president of the United States of America, know how impotent you are.
There you have it. China somehow managed to navigate a submarine into the Los Angeles harbor without anyone catching on. Then they fired off an ICBM into the Pacific. And they took that risk and expense in order to emasculate the President. Makes perfect sense. Except for this.
You do know that insanity runs in his family, don’t you?