Donald Trump Fires His Daughter Ivanka In An Easter Sunday Staffing Rebirth

Virtually every alleged achievement that Donald Trump talks about is portrayed as the greatest accomplishment of its kind in the history of the world. Needless to say, that is never actually true. However, there is something that Trump could claim as record-setting if he were of a mind to. That’s the pace at which he has lost members of his administration, from cabinet secretaries to personal assistants. The people he touted as “the best” have scattered like leaves in a hurricane.

Ivanka Trump

Now the President has made what may be the most surprising personnel decision since his inauguration. His daughter Ivanka, and her husband Jared Kushner, have been exiled from their White House posts, according to sources familiar with the situation. Insiders say that Trump was generally satisfied with the progress (or deliberate lack thereof) on the projects that were assigned to them. But he was infuriated by comments that Ivanka has made to the press in recent weeks. For instance:

  • During the Alabama Senate special election, Ivanka appeared to criticize Republican Roy Moore saying that “There is a special place in hell for people who prey on children.”
  • In remarks that could easily be attributed to her father’s record of serial sexual harassment and assault she said “I have no reason to doubt the victims’ accounts.”
  • Speaking about the GOP tax bill, Ivanka said “I’m really looking forward to doing a lot of traveling in April when people realize the effect that this has.” That was interrupted by Trump as meaning that she wanted to get out of town so she wouldn’t have to answer difficult questions about why it failed to help anyone.
  • For some inexplicable reason Trump saw this comment as whining: “There is a level of viciousness [in the media] I was not expecting.”
  • And this sentiment may have been the most maddening of all: “I really try to avoid getting drawn into politics. […] I care more about the country than politics.” Trump is adamant that all of his team put his political interests above everything else. Ivanka crossed a line here.

In addition to those blunders, Ivanka also made an unforgivable error on Twitter last Christmas by aiding and abetting the enemies in the War on Christmas:

There were hints of these terminations recently in the news. Reports from inside the White House indicated that Trump was secretly steering Chief of Staff John Kelly to help him push Javanka out. Kelly was said to be amenable to this because he never thought she should have had an official role in the administration in the first place.

Also, recent disclosures by porn star Stormy Daniels and Playboy model Karen McDougal may explain Trump’s willingness to cut Ivanka loose. They both independently revealed that Trump told them that they remind him of Ivanka. Therefore, he has an inexhaustible pool of potential replacements for the position of First Daughter. So why not take advantage of this holiday weekend to start the process of upgrading? What better day than April First/Fools? :)

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

UPDATE April 2, 2018: In case you haven’t already figured it out – – – April Fools! Sorry to disappoint y’all. I wish it were true too. Maybe soon all the Trumps will be gone.

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2 thoughts on “Donald Trump Fires His Daughter Ivanka In An Easter Sunday Staffing Rebirth

  1. How DARE she become involved in the War on Christmas this early in the year!! Doesn’t she know the first outbreak doesn’t start until October?!!!

    :-)

  2. Drat! Wish your story wasn’t April Fool joke.

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